Ghost Squad

1

I can't see a thing in here.

Ow. Will you cut it out?

- Big shock.

- BOY

I don't hear anything.

Wait.

There it is again.

You must have dog ears,

'cause the only thing I hear

is Charlie breathing.

Let's just get out of here.

This is really stupid.

Yeah. Next time you hear that there's

some kind of hideous, deformed creature

living in some

old abandoned building,

do us a favor

and leave us out of it.

Hey, I had a solid lead.

Jeanie Taylor

told Martie Nixon.

And I heard her telling Ethan

Reynolds about it in Phys Ed.

Besides, I didn't know we were going

to end up trapped in a broom closet.

That's a solid lead?

Nice going, goggles.

You are so not cut out for this.

Hey, don't call me that.

Would you two knock it off

already?

Trust me, whatever it is

you thought you heard,

it's gone.

Let's just go home.

See? I told you

there's nothing out here.

You were saying?

That's got to be the wind

or something.

I'm leaning more

towards "something."

Come on, let's check it out.

I don't think

that's such a good idea.

Fine, stay here then.

Yeah, stay here.

Uh, an even worse idea.

What's that?

Thermal camera.

Monster tracker.

Shh.

I think I heard something.

What is it?

Something's over there.

- I don't see anything.

- Guys?

I think we might want

to find another way out here.

Well, well,

look what we got here.

Out favorite

middle-school wimps.

The monster geek squad!

Actually, it's "Elite Monster-Hunting

Unit," you Neanderthal.

Oh, get up.

"Neanderthal"?

That sounds bad.

It has a bunch of those,

uh, whatchamacallums?

Syllables, moron.

Oh yeah? How about a

bruise for every syllable?

Ne-an-der-thal!

Ah!

What's wrong, dorks?

No science club today,

so you thought you'd try

the life of crime, huh?

A little breaking and entering?

Truth be told,

we were chasing down an

unidentified beast-like creature

right inside that old building.

We have it trapped in there.

Cork it, geek boy!

Nobody's talking to you.

What gives, Charlie? What

are you and the dork patrol

doing mess around

the old bank?

None of your business.

Whoa! Take it down a notch,

brainiac,

or you'll be chewing

on a knuckle sandwich.

A triple decker!

Hey, yeah, what's with

this jacket anyway?

You wear this stupid thing

every day.

He's thinks he's going

to Hartford someday!

Uh, doubt it!

It's "Harvard," you meathead.

You know, you might have thought

high school would have made you

a little bit smarter.

And that jacket

belonged to his brother,

the Marine.

Where are the Marines

when we need them?!

A beast-like creature?

Could you be bigger wimps?

Figures dorks like you would be

afraid of a little kitty cat.

Wait till all the other losers

at their school hear about this!

You're dead meat, Hamilton!

Nice costume, dork.

Told you-hardly anyone else

is wearing a costume.

I feel like a total idiot.

Dude, it's Halloween.

We always wear costumes.

But don't you think we might be getting a

little bit old for this kind of stuff?

No.

Guys!

It finally came!

"Swamp Monsters" 217!

The one where the swamp alien has to

battle the zombie slime creatures.

He ends up having to eat

his own head.

- Hey, Charlie!

- Oh! Brandy, hey.

How's it going?

Did you finish your chapter for

the Chem Lab notes last night?

Oh, yeah, Chem Lab!

Absolutely!

I, uh, got 'em right here.

Oh yeah.

Nice costume. You supposed

to be a dog or something?

Oh, no, werewolf actually.

It's cute.

Yeah, we were actually just

making fun of all the losers

that actually wear costumes. Yeah,

usually we're way more mature-

I can see that.

Oh, great.

We could run. I hear Mexico

is lovely this time of year.

What's this? "A guide to

demons, monsters and aliens"?

Ooh, which chapter

are you in?

This is so lame, jake.

Just leave them alone.

Oh, hey look,

it's the geek patrol.

Not so bad when you're not armed

with a milkshake, are you?

Serious, Jake!

I'm gonna tell ma.

Hey, why don't you guys

knock it off?

What's the matter? Run out of

kids to bully at your own school?

- You had to come back here?

- Jake!

How much grass do you think

Charlie here could eat

before he chucks it all up,

huh?

- Maybe we should find out.

- Get off of him!

- How about a game, twerps?

- Ah!

Oh, get real! These losers

couldn't play football

against my grandma's

knitting club.

And those old bags

can't even walk.

Yeah, we were thinking

about taking the day off

from anything that requires

the human brain.

So yeah, maybe football

might just do the trick.

What did you say, geek boy?

It sounded like an insult,

but, no, that can't be right.

That would require guts,

which you and the wimp brigade

don't have.

Charlie! You're not

exactly helping here.

Any rock-for-brains

can throw a football.

Well, apparently not anyone,

since you and your team

have lost almost

every game this year,

and set the record for most

interceptions in a season.

Oh really?

Let's see you do this,

Einstein.

Uh, you were saying?

I was saying

that it doesn't take much

for a bunch of morons

to go out on the court

and bash each other's

brains in.

It's a field, professor,

not a court.

No, all right.

All right, Charlie,

I got something for you,

now that you're

Mr. Big and Bold.

Let's hear it.

Name your challenge.

Uh, all right.

Uh...

the old Sullivan place-

one night.

- Ooh!

- You and the geek squad

spend an entire night up there.

- Excuse me?

- Oh, you heard me.

The Sullivan house,

one night.

Isn't that place

supposed to be haunted?

Oh, is it?

Yeah, that's the point,

loser.

You guys think you're some kind

of monster experts?

Prove it.

That's what I thought.

Name the time and place.

We'll be there.

Tomorrow-Halloween.

Done.

Okay, Charlie,

it's your funeral.

Behind the school,

bike path, tomorrow,

6:
00. Be there.

What did you

just get us into?

Please tell me

this is a dream.

- I think the word is "nightmare."

- Come on, guys!

Are we going to let them show us

up for the rest of our lives?

How many more swirlies and wedgies and wet

willies are we going to have to take?

I don't know, Charlie, but I'd rather

take more of what they're dishing out

than go near

that Sullivan house.

Yeah, Charlie,

the house is haunted.

Not sure what's confusing

about that.

And you guys

actually believe that?

Yeah, why wouldn't we?

You just want us

to come with you.

Guys, we're going to be in the

same school as them next year.

Do you really want to be a punching

bag for those jerks 'til we graduate?

Fine, I'm done.

So what do you have in mind?

Yeah, what's the plan?

Meet me at my house at 6:00.

I'll lay it out for you guys.

- So you mean you'll make it up as you go?

- Exactly.

Charlie, I wish

you'd drink more milk.

Stop with all that soda.

I'm allergic to milk, mom.

Remember?

And I haven't had a soda

in, like, forever.

Yeah, he's allergic

to everything,

- especially girls.

- Zip it, runt.

Oh no, you don't

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