Gone Fishin'

---

This summer's gonna

be great, right, Gus?

- Yeah, it can't get

any worse than last summer.

- that's for sure.

See, last summer was

a learning experience.

For instance, we learned where

my father keeps his cigars.

Now, Joe, you shouldn't be smokin'.

Man, it's bad for you.

Rolled on the thighs

of Cuban honeys.

- I swear, this summer's gonna be a ten.

- Ten plus.

[Together]

Borderline 11!

[Coughing]

See? I told you

not to be smoking.

[Explosions,

Electricity Surging]

Holy smokes!

Hey, Gus.

[Car Horn Honking]

[Crane Beeping]

[Honking Continues]

Hey, Joe.

[Alarm Ringing]

Oh, Gus!

- This is gonna be great, isn' t it?

- it's gonna be a ten, Joe.

[Joe Laughing]

A ten? A ten plus.

[Together]

Borderline 11!

[Dog Barking]

- it's quiet in here, Joe.

- Boy, it is.

I wonder where everybody is.

- Oh, it sounds like

they're in the kitchen.

- [Chattering, Arguing]

[Woman]

I don't care what they say, all right?

It doesn't matter

what people say.

[Boy] But they called

Pops and Uncle Gus jerks.

[Woman #2] If they

werejerks, they wouldn't

have won the fishing contest.

[Woman #1]

We weren't gonna let them

get away with this.

All right, you heard me.

No more fightin', all right?

- Your fathers are notjerks.

- Yeah, tell that...

Hey, w-what's goin' on?

Take a look at your sons.

Were you guys, uh,

playin' football again?

they're gonna be good

football players, Joe.

- They sure are, Gus.

they're gonna be great like Gus.

- Yeah. Yeah.

So, does anybody want

to help us pack or what?

- I want to help, but I wanna

just tell you one thing.

- Would you help your fathers?

- Uh-oh, here comes

Little Miss One Thing' s speech.

- [Laughing]

[Joe] Gus, this Billy "Catch" Pooler's

the best, ain't he?

Even though they say that

only idiots use these lures,

it's the idiots who ain't

using' em that's the idiots.

[Gus] We won his fishin' contest, Joe.

Man, I can't believe it!

- And remember...

- he's the greatest, Joe.

- Dad, look. Are you

gonna wear your shorts?

- Yeah, they're my lucky shorts.

Baby, get my lucky shorts

too, okay?

You gotta be the one

you want to catch.

- Yeah, you can have that.

- Hey, keep packing, guys.

It's the hands, the hands.

Believe in your hands.

- You gotta flick.

- [Gus And Joe] Flick.

- And dip.

- Dip.

- Flick.

- Flick.

- And dip.

- Dip.

[Woman #1]

Okay, everybody, come on. Let's

help the contest winners pack.

[Chattering]

[Woman #2]

Okay, everybody.

you're doing a goodjob.

Okay, everybody out now.

- Thanks. All right.

-' Cause me and Aunt Cookie wanna

say one thing to your fathers.

- Find mine, Tracey.

- All right, listen.

We know how important

this trip is to you. We really do.

- But I just gotta say this one thing.

- One thing.

- Thanksgiving' s on Thursday, you know?

- Thursday.

And call me silly,

but I'm worried...

that you're gonna end up

in the hospital or somethin'

like last year.

- Or in jail like you did

the year before.

- Yeah.

- Everything' s gonna be fine.

Yeah, this is gonna be good.

- Come on. Everything' s okay.

But here's the thing.

you've gone fishin' every year

since before we knew you,

and so far everything

has never been okay and fine.

And you've never been

as far away as Florida.

But that's why this trip is so nice.

that's why it's so important.

we're goin' to the Everglades.

that's the biggie, right, Joe?

- Yeah, the Everglades.

Hey, listen to this.

- Everglades, yeah.

- we're gonna catch

tarpon, snook, pompano...

- Yeah, tarpon.

- Catch this.

- I know you'll love that.

If you two are not back

by Thanksgiving,

we have agreed to kill you.

Yeah, that's

what's gonna happen.

- Whooooo!

- Whooooo!

[Men Laughing]

[Cookie]

Donna, don't forget now,

because I want

that recipe.

Football.

don't forget football.

Bye.

- [Gus] Okay. Hey, 4: 30.

- [Joe] 4:
30.

- You know, 4:
30.

- [Cookie] Open this door.

- You got the key, lady?

- No. Here.

[Alarm Beeping]

- Good morning.

- Good morning. Hi, honey.

[Alarm Beeping]

[Alarm Beeping]

[Groaning]

[Donna]

Joe?

- Got the boat?

- Check.

- Coupons?

- Check.

- Beer, gear, Dramamine?

- Check, check, check.

- Insert Billy "Catch" Pooler tape.

- Check that too.

[Together]

We've gone fishin'!

#

# there's a boat race

down the river #

# there's a slow boat

on my mind #

#Everybody' s goin' like crazy #

# And I'm takin'

my own sweet time #

# I'll drift down

the Big Shark River #

# Take a boat ride on the bay #

# Just tryin' to find

a little peace of mind #

# Down in the Everglades #

# There ain't

gonna be no hurry #

# There ain't

gonna be no rush #

#Just lazy style

like a crocodile #

# Playin' in

the mangrove brush #

# And I'll float on

down the river #

# Let the speedboats

speed away #

# I'll drift around

makin' gator sounds #

# Down in the Everglades #

# While the big crowd

down the river #

# Is gettin' drunk

on sea grape wine #

# I'm gettin' high

watchin' eagles fly #

# Havin' myself a time #

# Whet my whistle

every now and then #

# With a sip of cool Gatorade #

# Watch the sun go down

and let the world go around #

# Down in the Everglades #

# I'll drift around

makin' gator sounds #

# Down in the Everglades ##

[Gus Reading]

"What on earth could make

a man happier...

than O. F. H. In the G.O. M.?"

What's that stuff

you was readin'?

O. F. H., G.O. M.?

What's that mean?

that's Optimum Fishing Hour

in the Gulf of Mexico.

Hmm, alligators.

Hey, Joe, listen to this.

"Alligators will attack their prey,

but not eat them immediately.

- "Often, they will drag their

unlucky half-dead victim...

- [Horn Honking]

"Into their cave, where they

will let the carcass rot,

nibbling on them

at their delight."

A-And this too.

[Shudders]

"Legend has it that alligators

are vengeful creatures.

"If threatened or disturbed,

"they will become obsessed with

their target, not resting...

until they have successfully

unleashed their retribution."

- Ohhh!

- Obsessed?

Yeah, obsessed, man.

I mean, they could follow you

to the end of the world.

Wow! Hey, check this out.

Boy, holy smokes.

Hey, Gus, we don't have

to worry about that, right?

- we're gonna be fishin', right?

- Right, right, right, right.

- Yeah. Hey, Joe, it-it's

nice gettin' away, man.

- Oh, yeah.

[Man]

The little one weighs 62.

Boy, that's somethin'!

[Joe]

Yeah, she's pretty good, huh?

[Gus]

it's a killer!

L-it's okay.

And it's got some fish.

Yeah. Hey, what kind

of fish is that?

- Ah, a grouper.

- Grouper, huh? And what's this?

that's a strawberry grouper.

Strawberry grouper, huh?

I thought it was a salmon.

- Yeah, that's a strawberry grouper.

- what's this one, Gus?

- Kingfish.

- Kingfish, huh?

Yeah.

Hey, Gus, if we had money,

we' d set this up different.

We' d catch a lot of fish.

- Yeah, who needs it?

- Yeah.

- Guys who can't fish.

- Exactly.

L-Look at it this way.

You was a great football player, right?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes