Grandma's Boy Page #8

Mr. Lee Ho?

Monkey?

- Oh, sh*t!

- Monkey, please stop!

You have to cup your arm at the bottom

tightly and then release slowly like this.

Watch.

Try it.

Dude, I- I can't do it.

Just practice on the weekends

and stuff in your free time. You'll get it.

Don't tell me

your grandma beats you.

That's... More believable

than what actually happened.

So, what's this

big meeting about?

I think it's about farting.

Gentlemen, Samantha...

...last night I received

a rough copy ofJ.P.'s new game...

...and let me just say that

it invaded my mind with such force...

I thought I was going to explode

into the atmosphere.

It really is amazing.

Yes. If you

turn your attention to the monitor...

I'll give you a glimpse

of the future.

Prepare your minds for...

"Demonik. "

What?

- This is my game.

- Shh. I wanna watch.

Uh- Hey, no. No. Stop, please.

This- This is my game.

- What are you saying, Alex?

- I've been developing this game for over three years.

What are you talkin' about?

I've been workin' on this game all year.

You know that, Mr. Cheezle.

Okay, that's bullshit.

RoboBitch came over to my house last night.

I showed him this game.

He said he was gonna give me

some notes on it, not f***in' steal it.

- Do you have another copy of the game?

- No.

Oh, well. That's convenient.

Why didn't you tell me

you were designing a game?

I don't know.

I- I was self-conscious about it.

Oh, how cute. He's just trying

to get into your pants.

Dude, I will come over there and kick your

robot head right off of that skinny f***in'body.

Wait, Alex. You're really clouding

the energy in this room right now.

Is there any way that you can

prove that this is your game?

- Challenge him, dude.

- Yeah!

What's that gonna prove,Jeff?

He probably stole the game from me...

...copied it and learned

all the moves in one night.

- Mr. Cheezle, this is sad.

- Okay. That's it!

Whoa!

Wow, Alex.

Dude, you gotta cool down. And you come back

tomorrow and apologize toJ.P. I'm sorry.

Apologize? I been bustin'

my ass on this game!

Okay. Now your energy

is really scarin' me.

You know what?

F*** energy. FuckJ.P.

F*** Brainasium.

F*** all of you. I quit.

- Wait! Alex-

- Let him go. Let him go.

Let him find his center and realign his chi.

That's right, Monkey. Play my head.

I want you to take the Frankenstein sh*t...

...the deer sh*t, the green monster,

the bling and the bling-bling...

...and I want you to roll it all

into one joint.

No one's ever been

brave enough to try that.

One man is. Roll it.

I'll smoke it with you, bro. We'll go to

the loony bin together. I don't give a f***.

- Hey, Lilly. Is Alex here?

- Hi, Samantha.

No, honey. He should be at work.

But-Why? Is there something wrong?

No. He's not hurt or anything. There was an

argument at work over this video game, and-

- Alex's game, "Demonik"?

- Yeah. Do you know it?

Of course. I love it.

I'm almost at

the final checking point...

...except I have to deal

with those zombies.

They keep biting my neck.

- Hey, Lilly. Could you do me a favor?

- Sure.

I'm videotapin' this

for scientific research.

This sh*t will be

on the Discovery Channel.

Don't judge me, Monkey.

I just don't understand it. Why would

anybody do that, try to steal that from him?

I don't know, Lilly,

but he's not gonna-

Keep tryin', guys.

Backstreet for life. Oh, hey.

Hey,Jeff. Can you find Alex?

I'm gonna take his grandmother to Cheezle's

office and get this mess figured out.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a problem. Totally.

- Thank you.

- Hello,Jeffrey.

- What's up, silver fox?

Why are you so sweaty?

- Oh, I started a fight club.

- Oh.

Yeah. So, where's Alex?

We don't know.

Nobody can find him.

I know where he is.

Come on, babe.

You got skills.

Wh-What is that ringing?

Do I have a tumor?

Oh. Hello?

- Hey, Dante. Is Alex there?

- Hold on.

Phone's for you.

I think it's the devil.

- Hello?

- Hey, Alex. You gotta come back to work.

I quit there f***in' months ago, man.

- How baked are you right now?

- Who is this?

Is this Marv Albert?

God, you're torched.

Um- Okay, look.

There's an emergency.

J.P. Revealed himself

to be an actual robot...

...and he kidnapped your grandma,

and he's gonna eat her soul out of her head.

My grandmother's in trouble?

I'll be right there.

He's on his way.

- How much time to we have?

- Enough time to 69.

- Oh. Just like Don Knotts.

- Oh. Hello, Mayberry.

You gotta give me a ride.

I'm way too baked to drive

to the devil's house.

Drive, Monkey! Drive!

I love what you did

with the bit-mapping.

Very stylish, very aggressive,

very, very Miyamoto.

Right. That's what I was going for.

- Um, excuse me, Mr. Cheezle?

- Yes, Samantha?

- I have proof thatJ.P. Stole Alex's game.

- What proof?

I can't believe this stupidity!

- You actually want me to play

a 90-year-old woman? - Ninety?

Grandma.

- What are you doin' here?

- I'm tryin' to show these people that you are not a liar.

Okay, let's go.

Let's start the game.

All your attention

on the monitors, everybody.

Here I come to get ya.

- Get him. Get him.

- There he is. Okay. Okay.

Come on!

- Yes!

- How about that?

Fireball! Fireball!

Take this Level 2 lightning.

That's not good.

Don't worry. You're fine.

Take a little bit of the plague.

Come on, Grandma. Get up.

Come on. Get up. Get up.

Recover. Recover.

Hey, it's 4:
00. Murder, She Wrote

is on.

- Jerk!

- Get him, Lilly. Get him-

Don't forget I'm a prodigy.

And don't forget

it's my grandson's game.

I will taste your flesh!

Yeah, Grandma!

- You guys, stop.

- That's right, Grandma.

I am so sorry

I didn't believe you, Alex.

You know, I had a dream last night. I was

a snake slithering through the grass...

...until I came upon a dead elk.

And I climbed... into his soul.

And it's there I stayed until morning.

Which meant that I will...

underestimate someone very close to me.

Wow. Where do you get your weed?

- From you, Dante.

- Oh, yeah!

What's up, Mr. Cheezle?

Okay,J.P. Let's go.

We'll have your mom

come and pick you up.

Take care,J.P.

Please sit on my face.

That was not appropriate.

To the release... Of"Demonik. "

- Cheers.

- Hear, hear.

- Yeah.

- Kanpai.

- Woo!

- Hey-Hey, Dante.

- We're all toasting.

- Hold up,yo.

- I been savin' this weed for a special occasion.

- What kind is this?

This one's called

the brown bomber...

'cause when you smoke it,

you get so stoned you sh*t your pants!

Oh.

- I'm not- I don't wanna do that.

- Uh,yeah.

I already sh*t my pants

this month, so I'm good.

Whatever.

Uh, what the f*** was that?

That's a present

Dr. Shakalu and I got for Alex.

Dude, a bag of weed

would have been fine.

- Yeah, Monkey!

Karate chop the elephant!

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