Grandpa's Great Escape Page #3

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I just can't get enough.

Sugar.

We've been sat in here waiting for ages.

Yes... Classic Gestapo mind games.

Prisoner of war camp for me,

as long as it's not Colditz.

I won't let them take you away.

Sorry I've let you down, old chap.

You didn't and you never will.

Mum, Dad, you can't let

Grandpa be thrown into prison.

Well, it's not up to us, the

police told us what happened.

Your grandfather damaged

a very valuable plane.

I don't think there'll

be any need for prison.

Let me make a call for you, shall I?

Oh, thank you, Reverend.

We are so pleased to see you.

Hello, Miss Dandy? Yeah, it's me.

I have a gentleman here

in desperate need of help.

No, well, I can sort everything

here with the duty sergeant

at the police station but might you,

as a huge favour to me, be able to

squeeze him in to Twilight Towers?

Colditz.

She's gone to find out.

Oh, she's... She's coming

back, that's quick, innit?

Oh, you can, oh, you can,

oh, that's marvellous,

you're a life-saver, Miss Dandy.

Thank you.

Oh, rejoice, rejoice.

Thank you so much,

Vicar. You are a good man.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

Anything for my flock.

- But.. - Would you rather he

went to prison, boy? Huh? Huh?

No...

You enjoying your toad in the hole, Dazza?

Oh, delicious, Mrs Shelley's mum.

I think it might be the

nicest dinner I've ever had.

Oh.

A bit OTT?

Is that my beer?

He's our guest, Dad?

Can we go and see Grandpa after dinner?

No, Jack, he'll be too

busy in his new place.

All those baskets to weave.

Shelley tells me you work at the garage?

Yeah, I used to be YTS but

they took me on full time

because an Austin Princess

fell on Mark Lansom's leg!

Oh, that was a stroke of luck.

So, don't tell me, you must be a model.

No, but I have been known to grace

the cover of the Avon brochure.

Mum!

Oh, you'll have to give me one.

I'll stick it on the wall at

work, next to Linda Lusardi.

Absolutely not!

- Let me see if I can

find you one. - Mum!

- Oi, Barry, do us a favour.

- What?

Get rid of all the traffic

cones between my gaff and work!

That would be against the

traffic cone code of conduct.

I bet that's interesting reading!

Ah.

How do we know if Grandpa's too busy?

He needs a rest, love.

We didn't want to tell you,

son, but Grandpa has a...

.. weak heart.

But... he's going to be all right?

I do kung fu.

How wonderful for you.

Yeah, I'll teach you if you like,

junior, learn from the master.

Oh.

No, thanks.

Well, you ever get in trouble,

you know where to come.

I'm like a kung fu expert, I've

seen Enter The Dragon 17 times.

Wow.

Yeah.

Um, I've got to go up and do my homework.

Homework?

I never bothered with homework.

Which I deeply regret,

because you should always,

always do your homework.

You know, unless Knight Rider's on.

He's had three. He's had three.

What?

Er, hello, I was hoping

to visit my grandfather.

We're closed for visitors.

Please.

Matron!

Urgh.

Can I help you, boy?

I'm here to visit my

grandfather, Mr Bunting.

Oh, the new arrival.

We'll, he'll just have had his yummy pills

and now he'll be having his super snooze.

Is he all right? We're really close.

Really? Because he hasn't mentioned you.

Nurse Blossom, Nurse Rose,

has Mr Bunting mentioned

his grandson at all?

Nah.

No, I think Grandpa's

forgotten all about you.

No, he can't have.

Visiting hours are between 3:00

and 3:
15 every alternate Sunday.

Until then, kindly bog off.

Right, it's time to go,

everyone. Hurry up.

I've barely touched my Viennetta.

Come on, Shelley, we

need to go visit Grandpa.

I'm not coming, I've

got to tape the charts.

And I need to test this lip

liner on next door's cat.

Oh, come on, Mum.

Oh, I don't know, look

at all the balloons.

Welcome, welcome.

Are you having a party today?

Every day is party day at Twilight Towers.

Oh, come in and see for yourself.

Yes, we do like to give the

old folk the very best time.

I mean, we can't be sure how

much time they've got left.

Which reminds me, did you bring

Mr Bunting's documentation,

the passport, the driving

licence, the will?

Yes, yes, of course.

Put them all in the study

with the rest of them, please.

Well, what a lovely visit, we'll

see you again in two weeks.

Where's Grandpa?

He's very, very tired,

he didn't want to see you.

I don't believe you.

Nurse Blossom!

Will you fetch Mr Bunting?

You're a very demanding boy.

Dad?

Dad?

Are you there?

We bought you a soap on a rope.

- I've got your favourite sweets.

- Oh, he's fast asleep, bless.

What have they done to you?

Um, I think I might take

Grandpa out into the garden,

the air might perk him up a little bit.

All clear, Wing Commander.

Sorry about that, Squadron

Leader, er, I'll have those now.

Er, had to pretend to be asleep,

the guards here in Colditz,

they force feed us sleeping pills.

We get given them morning and night.

Luckily, I managed to hide

mine under my moustache.

Three nights ago, I undertook

a reconnaissance mission.

I saw the Kommandant doing something

very strange with a pile of papers.

I leave all my worldly goods to...

She must be forging the

wills, taking all the money.

Then I found a room with valuables in it.

And a number of coffins.

Could there be some mysterious connection?

I'm not sure it's that mysterious.

Well, since then, they've

increased the patrols.

We have to break you out.

Too right, we do, but the

trouble is they're suspicious,

they've increased my

sleeping pill dose as well,

my moustache isn't big enough

to hide them all, look, see,

they're like sweets,

they don't taste as nice.

Then why not take these

instead? You could switch them.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, genius.

Raj had a special offer, 11

tubes for the price of 12.

Yes, you're going to have to work

on your maths, Squadron Leader.

- No, these are just the ticket.

- What else do you need?

Well, any escape attempt

requires string, lots of string.

String.

Do you have a Browning revolver?

- Er, no. - Arsenic? - I don't think so.

- Flame-thrower?

- Tricky.

Then, just make sure

you've plenty of string.

More string. When will we do it?

Well, I've to finish my

map, compile a weather report

and I'm halfway through a

jigsaw of Big Ben at twilight.

There's quite a lot of sky to fill in.

Tomorrow night?

Now, Squadron Leader, are you sure

you volunteer for this mission?

It will be dangerous.

- I'll be here.

- Brave chap.

Ah, there you are!

Still nattering 31 seconds

after visiting hours

have actually finished.

Gramps, you must be exhausted.

What you really need

now is a very long nap.

- See you soon, Dad.

- Take care.

Don't worry, I shall be keeping a

very close eye on him day and night.

Why wouldn't you come and see Grandpa?

- Shut up, you're talking over

Duran Duran. - I don't care.

Blah, blah, blah, I'm Simon Le Bon

and I've got a stupid French name,

even though I'm from Pinner.

Why don't you care about Grandpa any more?

I did care about him, I did,

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