Grandpa's Great Escape Page #5

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I need to take to the skies!

Er, Mr Bumting?

It would greatly help the war effort, er,

if you could, er, put these

spicy Nik Naks on that shelf.

Oh, of course, Quartermaster.

He's got worse. It's all my fault.

I pretended the war was still on.

No, Jack, you have always been

a wonderful grandson. The best.

Please, please, can you

get through to him?

Jack, I've known your

grandfather for a long time.

He's not a well man.

I know, he has a weak heart.

Then why not let him

have one final flight?

This, please.

So, Wing Commander, let's

get you to your plane.

Not before time.

Where next, lads?

War museum, please.

I bought this record. Put

it on the gramophone.

Good job I'm an irresponsible

teenager, otherwise I'd be

telling you what a

really bad idea this is.

We're only stealing a Spitfire,

nothing to worry about.

There's not been a single day I

haven't dreamt of flying you again.

Ready, co-pilot?

You're taking me?

Of course, we're a team.

Ooh.

Just one thing missing...

This is for you, Squadron Leader.

This is yours, you can't give me this.

Nobody deserves it more than you do.

Thank you, sir.

Canopy secure?

Check.

- Propeller set to low?

- Check.

- Fuel gauge on full?

- It's empty.

We're going to have to get out and push.

I'm so going to get grounded for this.

2,031... slight scuffing.

Damn it, er, pay for that.

I don't think my Griffin Savers

Account's quite that flush.

We'll have to requisition the

fuel. It's for the war effort,

they'll understand.

It's the Spitfire, that's my Spitfire.

I think you'd better

get back in the plane.

Yes, you're right there, Squadron Leader.

Code Spitfire in a garage,

repeat, code Spitfire in a garage.

We've got to take off now.

Call the police, call the A Team.

Stop that plane! Stop!

We need a clear runway.

They aren't going to make it.

Dad?

Plane coming through.

Plane coming through. Stop!

Jack? Don't be late for school!

Up, up and away!

Up, up and away!

It's amazing.

Nothing better. Would you

like to take the controls?

Really?

Why not? All yours, Squadron Leader.

Wow.

They've never made a plane quite like her.

Do you want to take her

for a loop-the-loop?

- Can I?

- Of course, like this.

Wahoo!

Can we stay like this forever...

- .. Wing Commander? Just you and me?

- What's to stop us?

Jerry's got a brand-new plane, I see.

- They want us to land.

- We'll never surrender!

This is Harrier Red Leader,

you're in restricted air space.

Land or we will fire.

That was a warning shot.

Land immediately or we'll shoot you down.

You won't catch me.

Grandpa, you have to listen to me.

We're not at war with Germany any

more, they're British planes,

we have to land now. I, I

don't want us to be shot down.

What... Jack?

Yes.

My grandson?

That's right, Grandpa.

You've been wonderful to me, Jack,

the best grandson there could be.

But you've got to bail out now.

What about you?

I haven't long left, Jack,

dodgy ticker and all that and,

and up here I'm the person I want to be,

I don't want to be the person

I am down there, not anymore.

I don't want you to die.

As long as you love me,

Jack, I can never die.

I'll always love you.

But I don't want to leave you. I won't!

Sorry, Squadron Leader, I'm pulling rank.

Up, up, and away!

Up, up, and away.

Jack, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thank you, Raj.

Er, is it true they never found

the plane or your grandfather?

Yes.

It's an empty coffin. We

don't know where he is.

He's looking down on us all, I'm sure.

Your father was always very

proud of you, Mr Bumting.

Me?

Said you were the finest

cone counter there was.

Jack, er, I owe you an apology.

I've researched your grandfather

and he did lead a team of brave

young men in the Battle of

Britain, that is a fact.

- He was a hero.

- He certainly was.

Your grandpa would have saved

thousands of lives on the ground.

Thank you, Miss Verity.

Yes, well...

.. I have also written up a

questionnaire on the history

of the church, so, er,

let's crack on with that.

There's one for you, sir, if that's OK?

Er, just try and keep your,

er, writing in the lines.

Not many bums on seats today.

The deceased can't have

had too many friends.

Oh, Lord.

Oh, shuffle along, shuffle along.

Right, is that everyone

now? Can we finally begin?

Er, there should be a few

others actually so, er...

Gentlemen, by the left, quick march.

I tracked them down, to invite them.

All these men served

with Grandpa in the war.

This... is his squadron.

Welcome, it's a great honour

to have you here, gentlemen.

And you must come round

to ours afterwards.

I've laid on a lovely cold spread.

- Come on. - And I'll have a range

of musky body sprays on special.

No, they don't want any body spray.

Finally, we can begin.

Music, maestro, please.

Ha, right.

We are here to mourn the

passing of someone very special.

We are all going to miss

insert name here very much.

He was born in insert place here

in the year insert year here.

I'm sure we all has

lovely memories of him...

And who could forget

the time he insert heart-warming

detail here, to make it personal...

Stop the funeral!

Oh, thank God for that.

He is Miss Dandy from Twilight Towers.

Or she's him, they're the same person.

- That's absurd.

- He's a crook who forges wills.

He, he's crackers, he is. He's

crackers, just like his grandad.

And they're the nurses.

Nonsense, they deny it,

don't you? Deny it, deny it.

We were made to do it.

I'll confess everything.

I'm too pretty for prison.

You stole our jewellery.

You drugged us.

You locked up the playing cards,

so we couldn't play strip poker.

Yeah, well, at least I

knows how to enjoy money!

What's the point in having cash if

you're all completely gaga, hey?

I'll show you gaga!

- Go on, then!

- You!

Don't hurt me.

I have a very low pain threshold.

Yeah, kung fu!

So what if I forged a few wills?

So what if I posed as a vicar to

lure the old people into the home?

All I wanted was a holiday home in

Mustique. Is that too much to ask?

Huh?

Is church always this exciting?

I'll have to come more often.

I'll be back. I'll be back.

That was incredibly brave, Jack.

- Me and your dad are very proud

of you, and you, Shells. - Yeah.

I'll let you say goodbye.

Grandpa!

Oh, oh!

I would see grandpa every night,

just at the time I was falling asleep.

Now I have a child of my own,

I tell her all about the adventures

of my grandfather and every night

we see him too, flying his Spitfire

across the sky he kept safe for us.

Up, up, and away.

Grandpa was right -- as long as you

love someone, they can never die.

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