Gregory's Girl Page #2

Come on!

Well, what do you want, lass?

Faster now!

-What do you want, dear?

-I'm here for the trial.

Look, this is

a football trial, dear.

Maybe Mrs. Macalpine's

up to something...

with the hockey team--

I don't know--

but this here

is football for boys.

That's right.

Football trials, 11:00 a.m.

I saw the notice.

Look, I'm sorry you pegged out

wrongly, dear...

but it was boys I wanted

for the trial.

It didn't say so on the notice.

It just said "talented players."

Look, I'm sorry you pegged out

wrongly, dear.

There's been a slight

misunderstanding, obviously...

but there's nothing

I can do about it now.

-Come on!

-It didn't say "boys only."

You're not allowed to, anyway.

I want a trial.

It's not possible, dear.

Not today.

Well, we don't have

a spare ball.

Here's one.

OK, into twos now.

I want to see some penetration

work and a kick at goal.

One attacker, one defender.

It's an open goal, so let's see

who's first to score.

Right. You defend me, then.

What's going on?

She's gorgeous.

She is absolutely gorgeous.

That's Dorothy.

Do it again, same pairs.

She's got funny ears.

Right. Three kicks each

at goal now.

Let's see how you do

against a real goalkeeper.

You first, dear.

Right. That's it. Finished.

Stamina test.

Once around the playing field

and back to the dressing room.

It's only a quarter of a mile...

and should be treated

as a sprint.

Right. Off you go.

Well?

I'll let everyone know

in the fullness of time.

I'll pass the word on

to Mrs. Macalpine.

I was the best.

You know I was the best.

It's not that simple.

It could be out of my hands.

I'll have to see.

If I was the best,

I should be on the team.

-The notice said so.

-I said we'll see.

You might very well

get onto the team.

We'll work it out soon.

You've got to put me

on the team list!

I want to sign something.

What a dream.

Mr. Menzies!

I want to sign something.

Open the door.

Look, Charlie,

we've got to get some girls.

We've got to make a move.

Even Gregory's at it now.

We're falling behind.

I don't think

there's any advantage...

in putting it off any longer.

Besides,

it's making me depressed.

Sorry I'm late.

That's just paint there.

I'll get the biscuit mix

started.

You go and put the oven on.

-Four hundred and fifty degrees.

-Yes, boss.

Hey, Steve, can you help me out

with this pastry mix thing?

Pastry mix? There's more

than one kind, you know.

Short crust, flaky, rough puff.

Margaret's doing the strudel

soup, and I'm doing pies.

It's the eggs I'm not sure of.

"Strudel soup?"

Oh, I'd love to try

some of that.

It's noodle soup, and you don't

put eggs in the pastry anyway.

It's eight ounces of flour,

four ounces of margarine--

Pinch of salt.

Mix it up...

put it in the oven for

fifteen minutes, that's that.

No eggs, no strudel.

Nothing, OK?

That simple, really, is it?

There are five guys

in fifth year...

crying themselves to sleep

over that.

Six,

if you count the music teacher.

Look, take it easy.

Just take it easy.

You ever been in love?

I'm in love.

Since when?

Half an hour ago.

It's great.

I feel restless, and I'm dizzy.

It's wonderful.

Bet I don't get any sleep

tonight.

That sounds

more like indigestion.

No, I'm serious.

Who is it?

Is it a mature woman?

Did you wash your hands?

Don't be crude.

It's someone

on the football team.

-Really?

-Yeah.

Have you told anyone else

about this?

Probably just a phase.

Who is it, Andy?

No, it's Dorothy.

She's a girl.

She's got lovely long hair.

And she smells...

really gorgeous.

Even if you just walk past her

in the corridor...

she smells gorgeous.

She's got teeth,

lovely white teeth.

White, white teeth.

Oh, that Dorothy--the hair,

the teeth, and the smell.

Oh, that Dorothy.

And she's on the team?

Well, I think

she's taking my position...

but she's really

a good footballer.

Can she cook? Can she do this?

Look, Steve...

when you're in love, things

like that just don't matter.

Give me the margarine.

Think she'll love me back?

No chance.

Watch that mix,

or it'll go stiff, Gregory.

What do you mean, no chance?

No chance.

Another goalie.

It's real garbage.

This is a real farce.

Nine games lost in a row,

and what do we do?

Sack the goalie and put a girl

on the forward line.

It's a madhouse!

Watch the game, Andy,

watch the game.

She's good. She can move.

It's not right. It's unnatural.

It doesn't even look nice.

It's modern, Andy. It's good.

More than girls, more than boys.

It's tremendous. Look.

Get back.

Get back!

Girls weren't meant

to play football.

It's too tough, too physical.

Tough?

Have you ever seen them

playing hockey?

They're like wild animals.

Even at twelve or thirteen,

they'll kill you.

You know, hockey was invented

by the Red Indians...

as a form of torture.

They used to make the cowboys

play the squaws.

Shite! That was lacrosse.

And anyway, if women

were meant to play football...

they'd have their tits

somewhere else.

They weren't designed

for football.

Watch the ball!

Crouch and meet it.

Don't wait for it.

Watch the winger,

he's coming up fast!

Wait for the cross!

Come on. Give us the ball.

What a prick.

Took my eye off the ball

for a split second...

two micro-seconds.

We need more women on this team,

more new blood.

Yeah, she's some girl.

Go on down. Make it good.

Look! A goal!

Oh, great!

What a goal! What a girl!

Yeah, she's got a nice pair

of legs as well, eh?

Andy, please.

Look at that.

It's disgusting!

That is perverse...

and--and on a football field,

with kids watching.

Come on, there's a football game

to be played.

That's the sort of thing

that gives football a bad name.

That--that is disgusting!

That's a girl?

You're a genius, Robert.

You're a genius.

Have you got any band-aids

in here?

There's none next door.

Maybe.

I'll get some.

Don't panic.

It's just a scratch.

I only want to stop my tights

getting blood on them.

Big gorilla on the left wing.

I got him back.

I got my boot on his shin

and slipped it right down.

Big animal.

You'll have a bruise there.

Not if I let it bleed.

That's the idea.

I don't bruise easily.

I do.

I bruise like a peach.

Bruise.

See that? I was only three

when that happened.

I was chasing a boy

on the beach.

I wasn't gonna hurt him.

I fell on a bottle.

That'll never go away.

I'm marked for life.

I'm imperfect.

No, no. It's nice. I like it.

-Really?

-Yeah.

I hurt my arm once...

at the joint.

I can't get it any higher

than this.

Used to be able

to get it way up here.

You just did.

No, it's this arm.

It's stuck.

Look at this, then.

My big brother

threw a bike at me.

I was only seven.

I can only see it

in the mirror.

It's quite nice, isn't it?

Nice shape.

Renaldo--that was a boy in Italy

last summer--

he said it was like a new moon.

Very romantic. La luna.

Ah, si, si. Bella, bella.

Ah, parliamo italiano?

No, not really.

Just bella, bella.

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