Gremlins

Friends, let me introduce myself.

Peltzer's the name.

Rand Peltzer.

That's me there on the corner.

I'm an inventor.

And I have a story to tell.

I know.

Who hasn't got a story?

Well, nobody's got a story

like this one.

Nobody.

It all started here in Chinatown.

I was trying

to move a little merchandise...

...maybe find a present

for my kid.

I tried this one place.

Wait a minute.

What's down here?

This is it.

This is your grandfather's store?

Come on.

No wonder you gotta drag

people in off the street.

Go ahead, mister.

Look around.

See if there's something you like.

Are these things real?

I told you. Everything's real.

You do have

interesting artifacts here...

...but there's one thing

you don't have.

And what's that?

Let me show you.

I'm an inventor. I made this.

The Bathroom Buddy.

The invention of the century.

It eliminates the need to carry

heavy luggage when you travel.

You got yourself

your shaving mirror...

...your toothbrush, a toothpick.

You got toenail clippers...

...a nail file...

...and you got yourself

a dental mirror.

This is gonna revolutionize traveling.

Let's just say,

for the sake of argument...

...that you're on a bus,

a plane or a train.

You forgot to brush your teeth.

You got yourself a bad case

of dragon breath.

Bad breath.

What do you do?

No problem, friend.

All you do is...

...you take your toothbrush out...

...and you push this button.

That's absolutely no problem.

Cleans up easily.

What I'd like to do, sir,

is give you my card.

Rand Peltzer. "Fantastic Ideas

for a Fantastic World."

I make the illogical logical.

I can get you these.

I can get them by the dozen

if you'd like.

What do you think?

What do you think?

Where's that coming from?

What is that?

Mogwai.

What's he doing?

Singing.

He does that sometimes.

I gotta have him.

He's incredible.

Tell you what I'll do.

I'll give you $100 for him.

I've gotta have him. It's a present

for my son for Christmas.

It's what I've been looking for.

I've been everywhere.

I'll give you $200.

That's $200!

I'm sorry.

Mogwai not for sale.

You said everything here was for sale.

Grandfather!

With mogwai comes much responsibility.

I cannot sell him at any price.

Wait outside. I'll be right out.

Just go.

Okay, mister. Here it is.

What about your grandfather?

Forget what he said. He's crazy.

We need the money.

Do you want it or not?

I want it.

There's three rules

you've gotta follow.

What kind of rules?

Keep him out of the light.

He hates bright light,

especially sunlight.

It'll kill him.

And keep him away from water.

Don't get him wet.

But the most important rule,

the rule you can never forget...

...no matter how much he cries

or how much he begs...

...never, never feed him

after midnight. Got it?

Sure. Whatever you say.

Thanks.

And have a Merry Christmas.

You're rolling with

Rockin' Ricky Rialto...

...the voice of Kingston Falls, U. S.A!

Alex....

Getting close to Christmas.

You'll get stuck

with a lot of trees again.

I thought I'd be seeing you

about this time.

What the hell is this?

What are you doing in there?

Don't ask.

Alex, I came to get my tree.

Pete, take that tree

to Mr. Anderson's truck.

What do you say, Alex?

You can spare one

for the sheriff's station.

I paid for mine, Frank.

Billy, you need a jump?

No, thanks, Mr. Futterman.

I'm late for work as it is.

These goddamn foreign cars

always freeze up on you.

You don't find American

machinery doing that.

See that plow?

Hasn't given me a day's trouble

in 15 years.

You know why?

Kentucky Harvester.

It ain't some foreign piece of crap.

That's a Kentucky Harvester.

If I wanna keep my job,

I should be going now.

How's your comic strip coming?

I expect to see you in the funnies

with "Smilin' Jack," "Li'l Abner."

They don't run those comics anymore.

They don't?

Come on, Barn.

Say hello to your wife, okay?

So long, Billy.

Goddamn foreign cars.

Hey, doctor.

Morning, Billy.

Get in there and be quiet.

- You just made it.

- Again.

Will you sign this petition?

Sure. What's it for?

To declare Dorry's pub a landmark.

Mrs. Deagle's trying to take

his lease away.

His too?

Yeah, she says it's a dive,

a public nuisance.

That's where my dad

proposed to my mom.

That's where everybody's dad

proposed to their mom. Cross your "T."

Thanks.

Good morning, Mrs. Deagle.

What's good about it?

Klutz!

Watch it, watch it!

- Mrs. Deagle?

- What?

I just wanted you to know

that Joe got another job.

My husband, Joe Harris.

And I've taken up some sewing.

What are you trying to tell me?

Neither of us will be paid

for two weeks.

Couldn't you get Mr. Corben...

...to give us a little more time?

Mrs. Harris...

...the bank and I have

the same purpose in life:

To make money.

Not to support a lot of...

...deadbeats.

Mrs. Deagle, it's Christmas!

Now you know what to ask Santa for,

don't you?

Mommy, I'm hungry.

Yes, honey. So am I.

This is what's left

of my imported Bavarian snowman.

Your dog broke it this morning!

I'm terribly sorry.

Tell me how much I owe you --

I don't want money.

I want your dog.

Barney?

Give him to me.

I'll take him to the kennel.

They'll put him to sleep.

It'll be quick and painless,

compared to what I could do to him.

What could you do?

I'll catch the beast myself.

Then he'll get what he deserves.

A slow, painful death.

Maybe I'll put him in my spin dryer

on high heat.

That'd do it.

Barney, will you get off of her?

My dear lady, are you all right?

I have a very weak heart.

I can't stand a shock like that!

What is that dog doing in here?

This is a bank, not a pet store.

Very good, Gerald.

He wouldn't hurt you.

Excuses, excuses.

You're just like your father.

I've listened to his excuses

for 10 years, the loser!

As for you, you mangy cur...

...I'll get you...

...when you least expect it!

Oh, my heart!

I must apologize

for this most unusual....

You putz.

The old bat never looked better.

It's great. You're doing fine.

Thanks.

Hello, Gerald.

If it isn't Captain Clip-on.

Guess who almost applied

for unemployment today?

- I give up.

- You.

But Mr. Corben had second thoughts.

He gets so sentimental

about the holidays.

Imagine that.

I would've fired you in a second.

Merry Christmas to you too.

Excuse me, Mr. Jones.

Hey, Peltzer.

Look, I'm a junior

vice president at 23.

By the time I'm 25,

I'm gonna have Mr. Corben's job.

By the time I'm 30,

I'll be a millionaire.

Look at you.

You're practically supporting

your whole family.

The world's changing.

You gotta change with it.

You gotta be tough.

Tough? And no one's

tougher than you, Ger?

Don't call me that.

My name's Gerald.

Can I get you a drink?

Give me a vodka martini.

Shake, don't stir.

You work here?

Weeknights, so Dorry doesn't

have to pay an extra waitress.

That's great.

Yeah, that's swell, if you

like working for nothing.

Two more rounds for the pool table,

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