Gridlock'd

---

(STRETCH):
I'm thinking about

getting a penis implant.

(SPOON):
Get the f*** out of here.

(STRETCH):
No, I'm f***ing serious.

They've got these do-it-yourself implants, now.

(STRETCH):
You do most of it yourself,

but somebody's got to give you a hand.

(SPOON):
What the f*** are you looking

at me for? I'm not touching your dick!

(STRETCH):
Hey Cookie, what about you?

(SPOON):
Come on, Stretch.

Cookie doesn't want to hear

that sh*t about your dick. Do you, baby?

Cookie?

Cookie?

Oh, sh*t! Cookie!

Don't do this to me, baby. Come on! Cookie!

Give me a f***ing hand, would you?

- F***!

- Sh*t!

F***, f***!

I knew this would f***ing happen!

(SPOON):
Just give me a f***ing hand, man.

(STRETCH):
Oh, sh*t!

(TV):
...nine, eight, seven, six, five, four,

three, two, one... Happy New Year.!

(THUMPING SOUND)

(SPOON):
Cookie. Baby.

- (SPOON):
I don't believe this!

- (STRETCH):
This is really f***ing bad!

- (SPOON):
Give me a f***ing hand!

- (STRETCH):
Willyou quit yelling?

(SPOON):
Turn on the cold water,

we've got to put her in the tub.

(THUMPING SOUND CONTINUES)

(TV):
Whatagreat

New Year's celebration...

(STRETCH):
What a way to start

the new year. Happy f***ing New Year!

(SPOON):
Cn you give me a hand?

(STRETCH):
Oh, f***, f***, f***!

(SPOON):
Come on! Keep talking!

(STRETCH):
You're doing alright, there.

I don't f***ing believe it!

I knew this sh*t was going to happen.

I f***ing knew it!

Shut the f*** up!

(SPOON):
Cookie, Cookie!

Cookie... Sh*t!

- We've got to get her to hospital

- Let's get her out of here.

(STRETCH):
Taxi!

- Hey!

- F***!

F*** you!

Hey, come on!

(STRETCH):
Motherf***er!

- Who are you calling?

- Ambulance.

(SPOON):
Hello, how mu...

He put me on hold! I can't believe it!

Cookie's f***ing dying and he put me on hold!

Have him call back.

Hello? A woman's been shot,

a white woman, OK?

There's black people here shooting,

burning cars and talking about revolution.

You better send some motherfuckers out here!

They're on their way.

Don't worry, baby. They're coming.

(SLEEPILY) Happy New Year...

Dress those wounds!

May I help you?

Yeah, my friend has had a New Year's Eve party

and she had a little too much to drink.

She mixed it with some drugs.

- Overdose, sir?

- Yeah.

- Does she have insurance?

- I don't know.

- Your name, sir?

- EzekielWhitmore.

Fillthis out and bring it back.

My friend's standing here in a coma.

We need to see a doctor right away!

Fillthis out and bring it back.

It's alright, Cookie. OK. It's alright.

Everything's going to be OK.

We're at the hospital

Everything's going to be OK.

- Cn I see a doctor now, please?

- Just a minute, sir.

I need a Social Security number

and a Medicaid number, if she has one.

I'm assuming she does

since you put ''yes'' in this box.

A photo ID and the address of her next of kin.

My f***ing lady's going to die here.

We need a f***ing doctor right now!

If I knew the numbers,

I would've written them down!

- I need a f***ing doctor!

- You don't use that language with me.

You don't know me. Where did you get off

talking to me like to some tramp?

Nobody talks to me like that

when I'm trying to do my job,

because you know what? I'd let the b*tch die!

- What is wrong, Gloria?

- That man has lost his mind.

Doc, the girljust OD'd

and hasn't said a word in an hour.

I'm as scared as f*** that she's going to die.

Gurney!

(COOKIE SCREAMING)

Get off me! Get off!

Let me go!

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Shut the f*** up!

(COOKIE):
I'll killyou! F*** you!

(STRETCH):
First you f*** for an hour,

screaming. Then you make allthis noise.

What's the matter, daddy?

You could've joined us.

You know I can't get it up in a crowd, baby.

Did you read my new poem?

I'm doing it tonight.

No, not yet.

What the f*** are you watching?

The men had their sex changed,

but now they're lesbian.

What?

The men had their sex changed,

but now they're lesbian.

Wait a minute. A man becomes a woman, yeah?

But he doesn't do it

to sleep with a man as a woman.

He does it to sleep with a woman as a woman.

Right.

So he cuts off his dick so he can sleep

with a woman without the equipment.

Right.

No. He could have saved a lot of money

giving women head and keeping his dick.

But then he wouldn't have been a woman.

Oh, right. Excuse me, I forgot that part.

(TV):
The baby's fatheris also

yourbaby's cousin. That's notright.

There are some

crazy motherfuckers in this world.

Where's my veggieburger?

- I don't know.

- I don't know.

Was that a veggieburger?

The sh*t tastes just like meat.

You greedy bastard. You ate it!

Which one of you fucks ate my veggieburger?

That sh*t's not funny! I am the vegetarian.

Buy your own f***ing food.

(SPOON):
Cookie, you are so full of sh*t.

Don't you just love people who smoke

three packs a day and say, ''I'm a vegetarian''.

F*** that. You can talk to me about health

when you stop smoking, OK?

Oh, yeah? You talk to me about smoking

when you stop doing blow, arsehole.

I win.

(DOCTOR):
Excuse me. Excuse me, sir.

Just call me Spoon.

Stretch.

- Stretch...

- Alexander Rowlam.

Most people call me ''Stretch''.

It's stilltoo early to tell,

but, in all honesty, she may not make it.

We're doing allwe can.

We just have to wait and see.

Cn we see her?

I'm sorry.

Come on with the ''sorry''-sh*t, Doc!

Cn we see her?

It's not making sense.

It's not making any kind of sense.

(SPOON):
Look at her. What if she f***ing dies?

Huh? What if she f***ing dies?

Allthe things we talked about.

The things we wanted to do...

We could even help some people.

And she f***ing dies getting high.

I don't want to go out like that, man.

No.

Ever felt that your luck's running out, man?

I mean...

Lately I've been feeling

like my luck's been running out.

Maybe Cookie OD'ing is some kind of sign.

I don't know. You know what I'm saying?

I'm kicking.

I'm kicking. Are you going to help me?

Get the f*** out of here.

I'm serious. I mean...

We don't even get high off the sh*t any more.

We just do it to keep from getting sick.

That sh*t ain't fun no more.

Gentlemen. I'm afraid your time is up.

- (STRETCH):
Let me think about it.

- (SPOON):
What's there to think about?

(SPOON):
Come on, we just do it. Make it

our New Year's resolution this year.

Stretch, I'm serious. I'm kicking

and I want you to do it with me.

Let me think about it.

OK. Brand-new 1,400-dollar video camera,

remarkably well-priced.

- 500 dollars, you can't beat that.

- (D-REPER):
500 dollars?

- OK, 400.

- (D-REPER):
F*** off, I'll give you 200.

- 200?

- (D-REPER):
OK, 100.

- 100?

- (D-REPER):
Or should I run over your foot?

Alright. But you know

this is f***ed-up, though?

(D-REPER):
All I've got is 83 and change.

You're giving me 83 dollars for

a 1,400-dollar camera? You're killing me here!

Where's the change? Give me the change.

(D-REPER):
F***ing junkie.

(STRETCH):
F*** you, your mama's a junkie.

(CAR ACCELERATING)

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes