Gun Shy

---

"GUN-SHY"

Excuse me, Ms. Sieveking?

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

It's open.

Sorry, I'm late.

I'm not hungry.

You're new here, huh?

Sorry.

Those foreigners

still think I'm sexy.

Put it on the table.

- What's your name?

- Lukas.

Lukas.

If you wanna f*** me, I'll

do it for half price, okay?

Okay.

You know if Ms.

Meffert's there?

How should I know?

Who are you anyway?

I'm doing social service.

I deliver meals.

I see.

Actually.

I haven't seen the old

lady for two or three days.

Yeah, well...

I've got a key.

Maybe she's asleep.

Just leave it here.

Ms. Meffert?

Could you get something to

cut her down with, please?

Quick!

Let her hang there.

She's a goner.

What's in here?

Ms. Meffert's meal.

What's for lunch today?

Mashed potatoes, vegetables

and a beef patty.

Anyway, it seems to

smell strange, I come in,

and the old guy's

sh*t the bed.

I just left the

food there...

Take care!

Yeah, see you.

- Bye!

- Bye.

- Bye.

- Bye, take care.

Have a nice evening.

Same to you.

- Enjoy it.

- Thank you.

Bye.

Please, shut the

door tightly.

- I will.

- Thank you.

Hey!

Hey!

HELP ME!

Hey, could you open the door?

Could you open the door?

Sure.

Excuse me!

Do you live around here?

Could I stay at

your place tonight?

Stay over?

Yeah... sure.

What d'you think?

Which one is yours?

I'm sure it's not

the black one.

I sure wish I'd had one of

those when I got started.

Candles are somehow too hard.

Not even creams will help.

Bananas are no good either.

I peeled 'em and

put condoms on 'em.

But they get so mushy in the

condoms from all the friction.

And that's no good either.

Of course, you can

use a cucumber.

If you leave it lying

around for a few days,

it feels like a real cock.

But then it gets all wrinkly

and isn't very erotic anymore.

My mother used to buy big

pieces of beef tenderloin,

and when she wasn't there,

I'd sneak to the fridge...

and take out a piece,

warm it up, punch a hole in it,

and then I'd stick

my cock in it.

That was really nice.

Can I use your shower?

Sure, but I only

have a bathtub.

What about water?

Water?

Sure, I have water.

I'll take a bath then.

Okay?

- Can I use your towel?

- Yeah, sure.

- Is this okay?

- Yeah, sure.

- You got an ashtray?

- An ashtray?

Yeah... somewhere.

Thanks.

Careful!

Sorry.

Sorry.

Do you really wanna f*** me?

No!

That's good.

What's that?

I got scalped once.

Bullshit.

Really?

Yeah.

When I was a kid I went

sledding with my dad.

There was a freight car at

the bottom of the hill...

that everyone rode under.

But not me.

I was chicken,

'cause I was too big.

But my father really wanted

me to do it, so I did.

He always said I

shouldn't be a coward.

The problem was that my head

got caught on a piece of metal,

and they'd to sew on my entire

scalp at the hospital...

...32 stitches.

I don't know if

you've seen this scar.

I was 21/2 and it was the

worst winter of the century,

I wanted to paint

Easter eggs,

and the boiler was broken.

So there was boiling water, and

they had this velour sweater...

It doesn't matter.

In any case, I was...

in the hospital again.

Hey.

Good morning.

Lukas.

Want some coffee?

I have to get off here.

Can I... can I

see you again?

Can I maybe have

your phone number?

I'll only give

it to you once.

0-1-7-1-2-5-8-7-3-5-4

0-1-7-1-2-5-8...

Isabella.

Using someone's hair

to stimulate them...

means you enhance the perception

of the nerves and senses.

He took new shoes and hit me

in the face with the shoes.

Come over here and sit down.

A customer?

Not yet.

And then he broke

off the heels.

He can't stand it that

I'm bigger than he is.

I'm so lucky you're here.

Why don't you open it?

Hungry?

I have pasta with...

No, thanks.

I've already eaten.

Too bad.

I'll have to throw it away.

Thanks.

Put that crap here.

You can find a knife and fork

over there in the drawer.

Underneath it.

Why don't you want

to go to the army?

Well, that's one answer.

I was a sniper.

I don't have a bad

conscience though.

It was wartime.

What kind of crap is this?

Knuckle of veal in gravy,

Bavarian cabbage and potatoes.

Is he allowed to

eat from the plate?

As an exception.

What a hungry dog you are!

What a hungry dog you are!

That's enough, Robbie.

Come on.

Come to Mommy.

My little friend, eh?

My little friend.

- Hi, is Isabella home?

- Yeah.

- Who are you?

- I'm Lukas.

- And you are?

- Jonas.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Is Isabella home?

I wanted to pick her up.

Isabella?

Yes, I have a

date with her.

I see, a date.

And who are you?

Oh yes, I'm Lukas,

Lukas Eiserbeck.

Hello.

She's upstairs.

Hi, Lukas.

I'm almost ready.

You can wait in my room.

Rorschach test.

- Do you know it?

- No.

You take a piece of paper,

fold it, unfold it again...

And then you drop ink on it.

Then you fold it again.

Then you unfold it,

tell me what you see,

and I tell you who you are.

It looks... like

all the others.

Yes!

Strange, isn't it?

Read this to me.

Come on.

Places, place,

stone, stones...

Stones, brake, brake,

sports, sports, place...

Jonas?

- I'll bring you something.

- Something nice?

Sure.

- Bye!

- Bye!

Sporty, trip,

travel, minute...

Watch out, you'll hit a tree.

Careful, duck!

Yeah.

Okay.

Why are you here?

Normally guys do their social

service where they live.

My father lives here.

But you don't live with them.

No, my dad has

a new family.

He doesn't even

know I'm here.

I wanted to leave my small

town and go to the big city.

My father left when I was 14.

My mother married

a few months later,

'cause she was lonely.

Yeah.

I gotta go.

What?

Why do you have to go?

I just do.

Bye!

Masks on!

That music's giving

me a headache.

Do we have to listen to that?

What kind of f***ing

music is that?

Are you whacko or something?

I'm sorry I bothered you.

I really didn't mean to.

I'll turn down the volume.

I've got a better idea;

come on in and we'll

have a beer together...

and I'll make up for it, okay?

Come on.

You know, every year, I take

a 3-week trip to North Korea.

Have a seat.

You can't imagine what a

beautiful country it is.

How friendly the people are,

how clean the streets are.

It's all so fresh,

so unspoiled, so...

so human.

And who do we owe that to?

Him!

Kim Jong-Il!

So, cheers!

Cheers!

Nice to meet you.

These are cassettes of the German

program from Radio Pyongyang.

Is that a real snake?

Yep.

Snake whisky.

A North Korean specialty.

The snakes are bottled alive

and spray their venom...

in death throes.

It's good for rheumatism.

And for...

yeah, you know...

love.

The dance of the

rice peasant.

Planting...

washing...

love...

love...

Come here.

Look, those

windows over there.

Everything's dark.

Everyone's alone.

No one's doing anything.

People don't believe

anyone anymore,

because there's nothing

left for them to believe in.

Their souls are

totally empty.

- Good evening.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes