Gus

---

- Babe.

- Mmm.

- Lizzie.

- Mmm.

Hey, would you

sing for me?

- No. Mmm.

- Come on, please.

Mmm.

I'm tired, Peter.

- Baby, come on, just one.

- Peter.

Please.

# Take me to the moon, baby

# Take me to the stars

# Yeah, 'cause you know that

# You're mine, baby

# You know that you are

It's never not funny.

- You really like it.

- I love it.

- Mmm. Love you.

- Mmm.

- Oh, yeah.

- Mmm.

Joyce, off the bed.

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

Hey.

He stole my f***ing watch.

It's too late to be calling, Andie.

What?

The guy that I met at the

Hairy Lemon. We had sex,

he stole my watch, which cost

more than his f***ing car.

Um, I think I have your watch.

What?

You left it here when you

went to the beach.

Oh.

No. No, f*** it, it's my Dad's.

I don't give a sh*t.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

No. Wait.

Can I come over? Still feels like

this guy stole the watch.

Hey, dog.

Didn't realize you'd

stayed over last night.

Hmm. I should just rent out

a room from you guys.

Ha.

Hey, you want a muffin?

I got the gross zucchini kind you like.

You know, I had a friend who went

through eight rounds of IVF

before she got pregnant.

Okay, maybe it wasn't eight.

It was more like two.

What are you talking about?

We should probably get going.

I don't want you to be

late for therapy.

Therapy. I can't believe

you're in therapy.

I just don't understand why you

have to tell her everything.

I don't tell her everything.

Well, she knows we're doing

another round of IVF,

which, by the way,

was news to me.

I mean, how are we

even gonna pay for it?

We couldn't afford it

the last three times.

Well, I could do

some more tutoring.

That barely covers groceries.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

You know, you don't have to drive

such an expensive car, Peter.

Well, I have an image to present

to my clients.

Okay.

I have said from the start that I would

always be straight with you both.

And I'm willing

to stroke the shaft,

but I'm not gonna

cradle the balls.

Because, the thing is, this is, um...

This is boring.

Yeah. Really, I've been watching

the two of you.

You're drowning in the sea

of boring bullshit,

and I am choking on the fumes.

I mean, you have been coming

in here, I don't know, maybe,

well, over a year,

and I don't think any of us

have really said anything.

It's like we're talking about

the weather every week.

News flash, it's LA. It's always sunny.

Nobody gives a f***.

So, let's focus on something else.

Thank you, Dr. Grayson, thank you.

Previous owner was a professor

of botany, and he...

You can tell he took care of

his garden, and rightfully so,

considering the beautiful vista.

You would probably spend

a lot of time back here.

Now this... No, you don't

want to get wet?

Hi. This house just went on the market,

and considering its beauty,

it is probably gonna

go pretty fast.

Where's the pool?

I'm sorry?

This isn't a pool.

It's a f***ing petri dish.

Hey, Pete!

Don't sweat it.

I know you'll bring the

magic next time.

Ciao, bella.

Douche bag.

Okay, so let's try,

"He knows her".

Il la connait.

Tres bien, monsieur.

That's great.

Let's beach it up, b*tch.

I'm just finishing up

here with Justin.

Admit it, you're totally pulling a Mary

Kay Letourneau. Could you shut up?

What? I want to meet him.

Can I meet him? Shh!

Joyce!

Get it away. Just ignore her.

Joyce, Joyce.

Justin, this is my friend, Andie.

Andie? Hey!

Hey.

Andie, you okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll be right out.

Hey.

Do you think maybe you've

got food poisoning?

No.

Are you warm enough?

Yeah.

I'm sorry, Lizzie.

What?

Why?

Because,

this is just so unfair.

Hey. It's gonna be all right.

We're gonna figure this out.

So, who's the guy? Someone

she met on the internet?

No, it's just somebody

she met in a bar.

Jesus.

So, what's she gonna do?

Well, she doesn't know.

Come to bed.

I told my father.

What'd he say?

He said he'd support me

whatever I decided.

And then he needed

to go play golf.

You know, I really don't

want to have a baby,

but to get rid of it at my age

seems a little gauche.

Well, you don't have

to tell anyone.

No one would have to know.

You'd know.

Here you are. Four sugars.

Mmm-hmm.

Ah, sure you don't want

anything to eat?

We've got an hour.

No, coffee's fine.

So, how's your new roommate?

He sucks.

Talks too much in group.

He's got a goiter.

Goiter?

Is that a thyroid issue?

He's got this huge f***ing

bulge right here.

And he likes to fondle it,

so it looks like he's jerking off his neck.

Wow.

So, you need me to bring

you anything? No, thanks.

Okay.

All right, well.

Take it easy.

Yeah, you too, bro.

Don't call me "bro".

What are you doing?

Nothing.

I was just, uh, thinking of, uh,

starting dinner.

Hey.

Hey.

I want you to have it.

Have what?

The beast growing inside me.

Andie.

Look, I know this sounds crazy...

Yeah.

It does.

Just listen, okay?

I made an appointment

at the clinic,

but I couldn't

go through with it.

Not when I know how

much you want this.

I can do this for you.

And I want to.

Just think about it.

I,

I don't know what to say.

Say "yes".

Yes.

I'm sorry, she wants to

just give us her child?

I know it sounds

a little unconventional...

No, it doesn't, no, no. People give

each other children all the time.

If anything is passe at this point...

Mmm. You didn't get the tiramisu?

What about the father?

Shouldn't he have a say in this?

She doesn't know how to

get in touch with him.

She doesn't even know

his last name.

Of course.

Why can't we at least explore this?

Joyce! Well, because it's not an expedition.

We're not f***ing pioneers.

I can't even believe we're talking about it.

You know what? It's an insane idea.

- Joyce! There she is.

- She's here.

Come here, girl, come on.

Jesus! She sh*t on the floor again.

Oh, God, it's 'cause she's been

stuck in the house all day.

Yeah, well, she needs to be

trained properly.

Come on.

What if he doesn't

come around?

Oh, he'll be fine.

He just needs a little time to get

used to the idea.

So, I'm gonna see you later, right?

If you're lucky.

Happy Birthday.

Piss off.

# The train is gone, love

# It's gone

# It's out of sight

- Where did it go?

- I don't know.

# Good night, my darling

Whoo!

# Darling good night

# Good night

Yeah!

Whoo! Whoo!

Hey, um, I'm gonna, um

give you your present now.

Whoo!

Ooh, I am so excited!

Oh, my God!

I was trying to finish it on time.

I'm sorry, come again?

I made it.

You made it?

Yeah.

That is disgusting!

Yeah, yeah, being unemployed

has its benefits.

Look at this!

It's f***ing cable knit, people!

Like, Jesus, is there anything

you can't do?

Um.

Um, just.

Anyone want any coffee?

Are you sure?

Some tea?

- You okay, babe?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

I love you, lizard.

Oh, I can't take this,

this is too unfair.

Oh, God.

Hey.

Hey.

Can I?

Sure.

Wow.

You don't expect it to be so fast.

I guess when you have

that much growing to do,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes