Hallows' Eve Page #2

Thank you.

Wasn't sure if I was gonna

be able to get them in time.

I don't get you. You had

all day for a pot break.

I guess I got a little

ahead of myself.

Now that you're here...

maybe you can stay

and hang out a bit?

Ash, please.

You know I'm with Kate.

You know the guy that...

called about the passes?

It was really, really creepy.

Does that turn you on?

Does it...

turn... you... on?

I guess the word "sister" means

nothing around here anymore.

What do you want me to say?

Joe asked me out.

You know damn well that

I still had feelings for him.

You could've thought about

your sister for once

instead of sneaking

around with my boyfriend.

He's not your boyfriend!

And he hasn't been for months...

Jesus Christ, you dumped him!

Or did you forget that?

- And who's sneaking around?

- You are... you are sneaking around.

- How long has it been?

- I was trying to tell you...

Why don't I just go ask Ashley.

She seems to know everything.

That slut needs to keep

her sh*t in her mouth.

Oh, so she's a slut?

Oh God, you're pathetic.

Was this your move?

Make this sound urgent?

Oh, please, like I wanted you

here alone in my bedroom.

I saw you with your little girlfriend's

sister at Rudy's last weekend.

We were talking, we're friends.

Sure... sure.

Why are you acting like

I did this on purpose?

I... I didn't mean for this

to happen, I swear to God.

All I was trying to do was

be a good friend to him.

- I... am your sister!

- I know.

Why don't you just go

back to your married men?

- F*** you!

- F*** you.

- Why would you say something like...

- Oh, what a...

Hello?

No, it's her sister.

- Give me the f***ing phone.

- No.

Give it to me.

- Thanks.

- Who was it?

Your stupid f***ing

farm friends, okay?

Your complimentary passes

are ready, princess.

You sure it wasn't one of

your elderly "gentlemen"?

We'll see who Joe

leaves with tonight.

You know... you always

do this sh*t. Always.

I mean, you could've picked up the

passes tonight when you got there.

I don't even know why

I'm still friends with you.

Don't flatter yourself.

I needed to pick up the passes

because that creep-o

guy from the farm...

Nice try.

I'll see you tonight.

Your loss.

Joe?

Sh*t.

Joe?

Christ, f***.

F***ing window.

Thank you, Sarah, appreciate it.

Well...

Looks like it's bandages

through the weekend.

But we'll pick up your piece on

Monday, okay? I know, sweetie.

I know, I know, I'm so sorry.

- Hey, how is she?

- Hey.

Hey, sweetie, it's okay.

It's all right. I think

it was that Rudy kid.

- It's okay. Eve.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Eve, look.

- Eve, look, look.

- You remember your Penny doll?

And how much she meant to you?

Eve, it's gonna be okay, honey.

- I gotta head back up the store.

- Yeah, you go.

- You got her.

- I got her, go, go.

It's gonna be okay.

It's okay, I got her, go.

I think you're beautiful.

I need your help at the store, okay?

Someone's in the wrong decade.

The party has arrived!

Give them a beer! Give them

a beer, we gotta get drunk.

- Beer.

- Let's get it drunk.

- Would you like a beer?

- Yeah.

Thank you.

Give him a beer, we gotta get drunk!

Beer!

Really, guy? Why don't you

get your hands off her?

- Yo, I'm not gonna tell you twice.

- Come on, Joe, would you back off?

You need to have some respect for me.

If I see your hands on her again,

we're gonna have a problem.

Joe, can you sit down? Come on,

it's a party, just let her go.

- You can't show her a little respect?

- Relax, buddy, okay, relax.

She's a big girl,

she can take care of herself.

Yo, hey... can't we

all just get along?

- Cheers!

- That's what I'm saying.

Give me some of that, yeah.

Cheers.

F*** yeah, booyah.

I'm f***ing cold. Do you have a

sweater or a jacket or something?

- Please?

- Yes, all right... here.

- So demanding.

- F*** off, Ashley.

- Nails come out on that one.

- You're such a whore.

- Here's a couple extra.

- Thank you.

Good thing your sister

f***ed up the order

- and put staff with two "Ts" and an "F."

- Good call.

Isn't that how staph

infection is spelled?

Where the f*** is my weed?

A**hole.

Oh, the hostility, really?

I just smoked you out a little bit ago.

You should be nice to me.

Yeah, I will when I get my f***ing sh*t.

I gave you 200 bucks for an ounce.

- Where the f*** is it?

- I didn't blow your money, all right?

My boy didn't show up yet.

Well, is he coming?

These are for him, all right?

- What, all those are for him?

- No, they're not all for him, douche.

- Douche?

- Ba-douche.

She wants me, man, she wants me.

Yeah, I'm sure, but listen.

When you're talking about the tickets,

can you please keep it on

the down low, all right?

Nicole will kill me if

she knew I took them.

- God, killing me with this, dude.

- I'm being serious, all right?

Why don't we all meet up at 11:30?

Go get our haunted hotel rocks off.

Yo, you did clear the party

with your sister, right?

Oh, yeah, this is cool, definitely cool.

They're not using us this year.

They're using the clown house. Next year

there's gonna be a pirate ship or something?

- It's good.

- Joe, what the f***?

- What it... What's wrong with you guys?

- Keep touching her.

- Keep it up.

- Joe, what the f***?

Hostility over here.

- Hey, come here, Ashley. Give me a hug.

- In your dreams.

Yeah, I'm gonna cut off your balls

until you get me my sh*t. I'm serious.

All right, hey, Tina! Your turn.

Baby doll, not in this lifetime.

I'll give you a kiss.

I knew you went both ways.

I don't doubt you'd make out with him.

But in the meantime, let's see some clowns?

So can we go see this new exhibit?

You guys can go ahead and have fun.

I'm terrified of clowns.

I thought it was midgets

that terrified you.

Everything freaks her out, clowns,

midgets. Belly button lint, you name it.

All right, I got one.

A midget clown chasing a stray cat.

Oh, come on, Rudy, I like cats.

That was weird.

We outta here, so where we going?

Do you guys wanna go

check out the corn maze?

Where we going? Corn maze?

F*** me, the cornfield maze.

It's a big dead cow, come on.

All right, yo-yo-yo, I'm gonna

sit this one out, all right?

- I got my boy rolling in right now.

- Are you serious?

- No, I'll meet up with you guys later.

- I'm coming with you.

You can't... you know...

Ashley, you know you can't come.

He's gonna split if I'm not alone.

Come on.

All right, you know what, hey,

let's burn one before I go.

- Now you're talking.

- There you go, right?

Losers.

Yeah, have fun on

the magic school bus.

Enjoy your date in hell,

go ahead, real scary.

I don't know if I'm ready for this.

Oh, my God!

I'm not afraid.

- Take her, she's all yours!

- Oh, my God!

- Don't you like clowns?

- She loves clowns, don't ya?

You're such an a**hole!

Look at the awesome spot I got,

come, come, come, come.

Welcome.

Ashley, you will not believe

the sh*t that happened to me.

F*** happened to you?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes