Hallows' Eve Page #4

He broke up the scuffle.

I'm gonna go look for her.

You mean Matt.

- Yeah.

- Yeah... God.

Ashley?

Yo, come on. Rudy's got your weed?

You're gonna like what Rudy got you,

girl. This sh*t, oh my God!

Rudy, Rudy will not die

until dead pigs do fly.

Rudy, Rudy will not die

until dead pigs do fly.

Rudy, Rudy will not die

until dead pigs do fly.

Rudy, Rudy will not die

until dead pigs do fly.

Rudy, Rudy will not die

until dead pigs do fly.

Rudy, Rudy will not die

until dead pigs do fly.

All right, so you

witches like to party?

Yes.

Oh, big Rudy's got a party for you.

What's that I smell?

I like what I smell.

Smoking some weed, girls, without Rudy?

Without Rudy, there is no weed.

It's...

Ashley?

No sh*t, Ashley?

Damn.

Ashley.

What's up?

Rudy.

I've got a surprise for you, Rudy.

- Do you?

- Yes, I do.

- I come from the other side, Rudy.

- Yeah, the other side?

Open your mouth, show me your tongue.

Relax. Can you really feel that?

Yeah, I feel that.

- Do you know how hot you are, Rudy?

- You like that?

I want you so bad.

How you feeling, Rudy?

Yeah.

My stuff's so much better than yours.

Yeah, take it off.

Feeling it now? Feeling it now, Rudy?

You could have any girl

in the world, Rudy.

- I'm right here.

- I want you.

- I'm right here.

- I want you.

Oh, you're so hot.

Rudy, you're so hot.

Ashley?

What the f***, Ashley?

Ashley, where'd the f*** you go?

Oh, my God.

- F***, Ashley?

- Hi, Rudy.

You?

Ashley's heart belongs to Joe.

- What?

- Who needs Ashley when you have me?

That's right.

You've been a bad boy, Rudy.

Time to be f***ing punished.

- You'll get punished.

- Punished?

- You wanna be punished?

- Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Ashley's heart belongs to Joe.

What the f***?

Blood on Joe's head will flow.

Ashley loves and Ashley dies.

Ashley's innards on the floor do lie.

What is wrong with you?

- Get in the car.

- F***.

- What is the matter with you?

- Joe is a f***ing a**hole, seriously.

He's f***ing fighting with Roy again.

What the f*** is that?

- Joe again, you're always fighting

with Joe. - Well, it f***ing pisses me off.

I don't know, is he trying to

impress me or Tina? Jesus Christ.

Geez, you need to calm down a little bit

and big Rudy's got a little something?

I mean, does he even like

me or does he like Tina?

- I don't know, I don't know sh*t about

Tina. - 'Cause it doesn't impress me.

Look, just take a little of this...

- I don't smoke pot.

- You don't smoke pot, you never smoke pot.

- You and your Christian parents...

- No, I never smoke pot.

...don't smoke pot,

'cause you're a good girl.

You're too good,

you're too good for Rudy.

- Yeah, I'm too good for Rudy, whatever.

- That's right, you follow all the rules.

Is there something wrong with you?

- It's nothing wrong with me...

- You're just high in a car by yourself.

Yes, I'm high in a car by myself,

oh, no, call the police.

I don't think I need to call them 'cause

they could just drive by any minute.

- I don't know why you're smoking in

the car. - Oh, I see, you know what?

- I could roll this up right here...

- Jesus Christ, what if Tommy comes by?

- Rudy, are you an idiot?

- Oh, please, enough with that.

- You know, really?

- No, seriously.

All right, you know what,

you want a little privacy?

You don't want this around?

You ever been on the hayride trail?

No, I've never been

on the hayride trail.

Oh, I see, so you never been

to the biohazard place.

No, I've never been to

the biohazard place.

So if you and me went

to the biohazard place,

- very secretly, very quietly...

- Very quietly.

- took a little taste, would you join me?

- Joe would kick your ass.

Joe wouldn't know about it

'cause I wouldn't tell Joe.

F*** it, let's go smoke us some pot.

Let's go.

Goddammit, Rudy,

where the f*** are you?

Christ.

You scared me.

Okay, don't you have... someone

else to go scare now or something?

Hello?

Can you at least tell me where the

greenhouse is? I have to meet a friend th...

Very funny.

Somebody!

Somebody help me!

Please.

Please!

Help me, someone!

Rudy!

Now this is the perfect climate

to grow my weed in, bro.

- Perfect climate.

- Check it out.

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t!

This is a, Venus flytrap.

- I learned about this in school.

- It's like a penis flytrap.

- It's a giant f***ing vagina.

- That's what it is, it's like a giant p*ssy.

A f***ing man could get

lost in that thing. Jesus.

What the f***?

- Please, help me.

- Is she real?

What are you doing? Hold on,

you crazy b*tch, get off of him.

My new pants.

Is that her f***ing intestines?

Oh, sh*t.

- Is he taking her the f*** away?

- Oh, sh*t.

Oh, my God,

what the f*** is going on?

- Yo, these actors here...

- Sh*t is real.

- ... they deserve Oscars.

- This sh*t is so f***ing real.

Fantastic, let's go...

let's go get these guys.

Come on.

Jesus Christ.

It's a f***ing mess.

- It's gonna be so fun.

- Hell, yeah.

Let's go, motherfuckers!

Will you watch your language?

All right, I'll watch

my f***ing language.

- Hey, why don't you watch your tongue?

- Watch your tongue.

Oh, yo, we gotta find Ashley.

Yo, I told her I'd meet up with her.

- She's gonna be pissed.

- Oh, no.

Better pissed off than pissed on.

- That's not even funny.

- I know.

- Like, you are so stoned.

- I'm so tired.

Hey, come on, yo,

we gotta find Ashley.

I texted her, you know how

she gets, she gets crazy.

- Again? My legs feel funny.

- She get crazy in the head.

- I know...

- I think I can fly.

- Really?

- Nope, didn't work.

You sure are gone?

Look, all right,

you clearly are incapacitated.

You stay here.

I'm gonna go find Ashley.

I will bring her back here.

So you stay put, all right?

Tell Joe to come. 'Cause he

has to try this, it's so cool.

Yeah, if I see him,

I'll tell him where you are.

Okay, thank you.

- You hold onto that.

- Okay.

In case, you know, you feel like

- smoking the marijuana.

- I will hold it.

I'll call you.

All right.

You be careful,

don't move, stay here.

Watch for the hayride tractors.

Don't cross the road.

- Look both ways.

- Okay.

Don't get hurt.

I'm so tired.

Joe... that was so fast.

I... oh, I s...

I was sitting here,

my friend was right there.

I was just tired, so I was

just resting my eyes.

Rudy!

Yo, Kerone. Damn pipe just

went right through her.

Look at this place.

- All right, they're not in here, let's go.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Maybe you could stay in here with me

- for a little bit.

- But they're...

No, I mean, just, I mean...

you and me.

What are you doing?

I don't know.

- Come on, really?

- Whatever, you know...

Get this off.

Sh*t.

- Wait, wait, wait.

- What?

I can't.

But you were already doing it.

- What is your problem?

- I'm with Kate.

My sister is a f***ing prude, okay?

Besides, we were together

long before you and her.

No. You don't wanna

date a jock, remember?

- You broke up with me.

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