Hannah Montana: Life's What You Make It

---

Lilly, why do you read that tabloid

trash? They're nothing but li...

(clears throat) ''Hannah Montana

looks fabulous.''

...with the occasional glimmer of truth.

You didn't let me finish.

''Too bad she's really a guy.''

(gasps) You have got to be kidding.

l can't believe you didn't tell me.

You've slept over at my house.

(gasps) You've borrowed my bras!

Hey, l look good in a mustache.

Oh, yeah, l would definitely date me.

Me too.

(both) Awkward.

Uh-oh.

Let me gus. lt's another article

about Jake Ryan, isn't it?

lt says that his movie is done and

he's back in town for the premiere.

(scoffs) Big whoop.

l don't need some guy who kiss me

knowing he's about to leave for

six months to do some stupid movie.

Jake could fall out of the sky

wearing a tuxedo and l wouldn't care.

Uh, Miley?

l'm serious.

He could come down,

giving me a dozen ros,

and it would make no difference.

Zero, zilch, el zippo.

What if he got down on his kne

and begged you to take him back?

Like that's ever gonna happen.

Sorry it's only one rose,

but l did bring chocolat.

Not just chocolat,

chocolat from the sky.

Jake, l don't know what to say,

so l gus l'll just

show you how l feel.

(crowd) Ohh!

Thank you.

# Come on!

# You get the limo out front

# Hottt styl, every shoe

every color

# Yeah, when you're famous

it can be kind of fun

# lt's really you

but no one ever discovers

# Who would have thought

that a girl like me

# Would double as a superstar

# You get the bt of both worlds

# Chill it out, take it slow

# Then you rock out the show

# You get the bt of both worlds

# Mix it all together

# And you know that it's

the bt of both worlds #

(chuckling)

Thanks.

Gee, another basket from Jake.

What a surprise.

l agree, Mile.

Either date this boy Jake

or tell him to send a workout tape,

'cause l'm about one muffin away

from my easy-fit jeans.

l got two words for ya: Willpower.

l got two words for you:

Mini jelli.

Mmm. l am so weak.

Look who was waiting in the driveway.

You can almost hear him say,

(deep voice) ''Miley, take me back.

Gimme one more chance.''

- Oh, l'll give you something.

- (gasps)

Not the chocolate chip on.

Use the bran. Nobody eats those.

Oh, my dad do.

He calls them ''nature's broom.''

Ooh, peanut butter balls.

Hello? Guys, this jerk hurt me

and he's not gonna win me back

with peanut butter balls.

OK, you're right, darling.

l'm getting rid of everything.

Ooh, and l'll start by grilling up

the perfectly marbled T-bon.

- Medium rare, please.

- Got it.

Come on, Miley, the poor guy's done

just about everything a girl can want.

- What more could he do?

- (rattling)

Yeah, Miley. What else can l do?

You're never gonna stop, are you?

Miley, you've dumped stuff on me

and you've yelled at me.

The one thing you haven't done

is tell me you don't care about me.

Tell me that, and l'll go away.

No! You can't!

He's so in your...

l mean, come on!

l know l kissed you and then left,

and l'm sorry.

But l never stopped thinking about you.

(gasps) He never stopped!

And now... l mean, come on!

- l'll just go help with the steaks.

- You do that.

Come on, Jakers.

OK.

l never stopped

thinking about you either.

- Then you'll give me another chance?

- How about we start with tonight.

Ooh. Uh...

(metal rattling)

Slight problem.

Tonight's my movie premiere.

Oh, that's OK. l mean, it's

a little more public than l wanted...

No, no, no. Uh, see, the thing is...

You already have a date, don't you?

Oh, it's not a real date, OK?

(stammers) lt's with my co-star, OK?

We just have to pretend

we're dating for the prs.

A kiss or two,

but it don't mean anything.

Nothing you say ever means anything.

You're the same jerk

you were six months ago,

except now, you're a jerk

with a headache.

l don't have a...

- Oh, no.

- Oh, y.

(sighs) l'm so hot.

Y, you are.

Could l get a bottled water?

Y, you are.

Can. l mean, y, you can.

Oh, sorry. Rico just

tripled his price to three bucks.

But that's all l have,

and as l said before l'm so, so hot.

Don't go anywhere.

Whoo! OK.

l've taken care of me. Now you.

You can have the employee discount.

(zipping)

(wild laugh)

- You're fired!

- What are you talking about?

Nice work, Natasha.

Go buy yourself something pretty.

No, no, wait! Come back!

l'm willing to

look past this and start anew.

- You ripped me off!

- Me?

You're the one ripping people off.

Three bucks for a bottle of water?

That's stealing.

That's America.

You want to give stuff away?

Open your own shack.

You can call it lHOF.

lnternational House of Failure.

Oh, well, maybe l will.

But instead l'll call it

lnternational House of...

...Reasonably-Priced Water

and Fri and Stuff.

lHORPWAFUS.

Yeah, yeah! Hear the name

and tremble, Rico.

lHORPWAFUS.

l'm Brian Winters

and the stars are all out

for the premiere of Teen Gladiators

and the Sword of Fire.

And here are the Teen Gladiators,

Jake Ryan and Marissa Hugh,

coming over to talk to me,

Brian Winters.

So, Jake, l don't know what's bigger,

the buzz about this movie

or the buzz about you two.

Oh, well, thanks, Brian.

We're both really excited

about this movie.

- Aren't we, honey?

- We sure are, Jakey.

(mocking) ''We sure are, Jakey.''

Look at her, draped over him

like... drap.

Cheap, clingy drap.

lt's disgusting.

Sure is.

How can you guys

keep eating that stuff?

That's Jake's steak.

lt's the stake

he drove through my heart.

The good news is, it cuts like butter.

Dad!

l'm sorry, darling,

but you're better off without him.

lf he's gonna choose her over you,

he obviously has no taste.

Except in meat.

This fillet is fantastic.

Look at him, all kissy with Marissy.

''lt's only pretend.

lt don't mean anything.''

Yeah, right!

l was on your TV show, bub.

You're not that good an actor!

So, Jake, tell me,

when did you first know

you were in love?

Well, l know it sounds hokey,

but the minute l looked

into Miley's ey...

- Miley?

- (gasps) Oh, sorry.

l... l meant Marissa.

What?

- Did he just say...?

- Shh.

Yow.

Girls hate the name flub.

Trust me, been there, done that.

But, uh, we all make mistak,

right, Jake?

Yeah. And l'm in the middle

of a big one right now.

Marissa's a good friend.

The truth is...

...l'm in love with a girl

named Miley Stewart.

Ooh hoo hoo hoo hoo!

But l blew it.

That's the difference

between movi and real life.

ln real life you

don't always get a happy ending.

(tape rewinding)

l'm in love with a girl

named Miley Stewart.

- Ooh hoo hoo hoo hoo!

- (tape rewinding)

l'm in love with a girl

named Miley Stewart.

- (tape rewinding)

- (Jake) l'm in love with...

Mile! You're gonna break it.

l don't care.

Hey, gladiator.

Miley?

Who says real life

don't have happy endings?

This is so cool!

l'm used to Hannah being famous,

but now Miley is too.

Your life is totally gonna change.

- (doorbell rings)

- lt is not,

other than having

the bt boyfriend ever!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes