Happily N'Ever After 2 Page #3
That's obvious.
Just poof and cream,
and you'll do fine.
It's all about attitude.
Poof and cream.
Okay.
Snow White, honey.
It's Lady Vain.
Go away!
Please?
I think we got off
on the wrong foot.
hair, nail, and face man
in the kingdom.
I've convinced him
to give you a makeover
as my little gift to you.
Makeover?
So, uh, let's take
a look at you, yes.
My! Uh...
what pretty hair
you have, yes.
Thanks.
- And, uh...
what-- what a beautiful
set of eyes you have.
Oh, that's so sweet.
Ooh! And what big teeth
you have, huh?
What?
Ooh!
Oh, yes. Uh...
So, uh, let's
get started, yes.
First, we will...
uh, poof the hair!
Give it some air.
Let it breathe
like fine wine, yes.
Breathe. Breathe.
Breathe. Yes.
Um, Rumpy, I think
that's enough poofing.
Oh, yes.
Well, of course.
Yeah. So, uh,
now, we will--
No. Uh...
Rumpy, don't you think
Snow White is looking
a little pale?
Really?
Well, I feel fine.
Don't you have something
you can give her?
Wh-What?
Oh, uh, yes!
Indeed, I do.
Uhh! What?
Where is it?
Oh! Oh! Ah.
Here.
- Oh.
Eat this.
An apple?
- Oh, yes.
It'll make you feel better
than pease-porridge pie.
But I feel fine.
It's good for the skin.
Oh. Oh!
No!
- No! Don't!
Don't do it!
Don't do it--
Well, she did it.
No! Come on!
That a girl.
Now, tell old Rumpy
about everything and everyone
that makes you mad,
sad, or had.
And don't leave out
any of the juicy details.
Well, let me
tell you about...
Replay messages.
Now, Bo Peep,
she's always braggin'
about her "junk in da trunk."
Junk's right.
It's called "too much
gingerbread," honey.
Maybe if she got
off her trunk--
...she'd find her sheep.
And Goldilocks?
Talk about a whiny
little airhead.
"The porridge isn't right.
It's too hot.
It's too cold."
Make a decision, girl!
And we can't forget
Little Red Riding Hood.
Honey, stop wearing red.
It's totally not your color.
Oh, no, she didn't just say that.
I think we all know
If the butcher only knew
what the baker
and the candlestick maker
Now, Cinderella...
Let me tell you
about Prince Charming.
And Mistress Mary? Ew!
The ugly duckling.
And Sir Peter?
What's with the "nobler
than thou" 'tude?
Like, chill!
Hmm. He didn't
even cut my hair.
Oh, well.
Cute as ever.
Goldilocks.
Hey, girl.
Want to go shopping?
You got some nerve
calling me.
What
are you talking about?
Oh, like you don't know?
Whatever!
Huh!
What's her problem?
Go, Snow White, and meet
your adoring subjects.
Hmm!
- Hah!
She's got some nerve showing up here.
She's showing her face in public.
Can you believe it?
What is their problem?
It's okay, girl.
- Yeah, it's okay.
Too much
gingerbread, huh?
Whiny airhead?
So, red isn't my color?
What are you talking about?
Don't play dumb.
We heard everything
you said.
And it wasn't very nice.
Come on, let's get her!
Yeah, go get her!
Get back here!
Say, there she is!
- There she is!
Go get her!
- Uh!
Tell me, Snow White.
Why do they call me simple?
Ooh!
There's Snow White!
- There she is!
An old fuddy-duddy, am I?
Daddy, I'm so glad
you're here.
Something horrible
has happened.
The entire kingdom
hates me.
And you're surprised,
after all the terrible things
you've been saying
about people?
Your mother would be ashamed.
Oh, Daddy!
Snow, come back!
Grimm, follow her.
Yes, Your Majesty.
Whoa!
Everybody hates me.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
You idiot!
Not while I'm cackling.
Will you stop
that primping
and get out of
that silly costume?
Sorry.
This story
is so out of control.
We have to do something.
But what?
The scale is toast.
Kaput! Finito.
Aah!
Let's go!
What? Where to?
We've gotta stop Lady Vain.
Come on, I'll drive.
No. I'll drive.
- Uh!
Rise. And away!
Whoa! Ho-ho!
Whoa ho ho! Yeah!
Whoa! Oh! Aah!
Pull over!
Pull over!
I think I can drive
a little better!
Aah! Come on, Munk,
let me drive.
No. I'm driving.
Please, please,
please, please?
Please, please?
- Agh!
Hey!
Oh, hey, aah!
As a control freak, you
need to let me drive!
Let go!
Next time,
you should drive.
Mmm.
Hello.
Anybody home?
I'm a princess, heh.
Not a thief.
Mmm.
This looks delicious.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Oh...
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm!
Oh...
Aah!
Aaah!
What-- uh--
Wh-Who are you?
We be the dwarves
of the forest, My Lady.
Well,
it is so not cool
to freak out
a fair maiden,
especially
when she's sleeping.
Now don't be givin' us
none of that knick-knack
paddy-whack, missy.
You're the one who done
broke into our home,
ate our food,
and slept in our beds!
Oh, right.
Well, my father
will pay for whatever.
And who be your father?
The king?
Actually, yes.
Giants and wizards!
You're Queen Grace's
daughter, Snow White!
I can see the resemblance.
I see it now.
Yeah. And?
We were friends
with the queen.
My mother came here?
Here's us with Queen Grace
when we helped Mary
get her little lamb back.
The poor thing got
washed into the river.
Ooh! This is the day
we all cleaned out the spiders
from Miss Muffet's attic.
Oh, and this is when we helped
Old MacDonald plow his fields.
He was a little behind
on the harvest that year.
And this--
the day she took care of us.
She knitted them herself.
I didn't know
she did all these things.
Oh, sure.
- She did.
Bright and pretty.
Yes, it's true.
Yep, she did.
Your mother loved
to help people.
She was a beautiful woman.
Yeah.
So what be
bringing you down
to our neck of the woods,
Snow White?
Oh.
Well, I had a little situation
back at the kingdom.
What kind of situation?
Well, I guess it all started
when I went to
Mamma Goose's Joust House.
I was supposed to go
to the orphanage, but...
...so after I said
which I would never
usually say, really--
the Damsels, my dad,
and everyone,
like, totally freaked.
She may look
like her mother,
but she sure don't
act like her.
Hear, hear.
Come on, now.
Cut the girl some slack.
Her mother died
when she was young.
In fact, I'd say
it's our duty to fix her up
into the woman her mother
would have wanted her to be.
Oh, we should be doing
that for sure, yes!
For Queen Grace.
For Queen Grace.
Snow White,
we're gonna help you
win back your friends,
family, and home.
But you have
to do everything
we tell you to do,
no questions asked.
Well, okay.
Come again?
You want me to do what?
Shovel some sticks
and straw.
No way.
But why?
Hello!
I'm a princess.
I don't shovel.
Okay.
But there's wolves
in them woods.
Fine.
Happy now?
No! No! No! No! No!
No! Ooh!
Definitely no!
But, My Lady,
these are the finest
wedding dresses
in all the kingdom.
Sewn by peasants,
no doubt.
Pitiful, all of them.
I want only the finest dress
made by the finest hands.
Um, My Lady, there was
this cream-colored number
we saw over in Wonderland.
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Submitted on August 05, 2018
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