He's Just Not That Into You Page #18

GIGI:

So, Alex told me you work in finance.

BILL:

Yes. Yes, I do. Finance.

A LONG PAUSE.

GIGI:

This is nice.

BILL:

It is.

GIGI:

A nice evening. And you planned it. And

called me when you said you would. And

showed up on time. Thank you, Bill.

BILL:

You're very welcome.

ANOTHER AWKWARD LONG SILENCE. Gigi smiles.

INT. ALEX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Alex now seems pretty agitated. He's shirtless, his

hair's a disaster. He's holding his phone handset.

Staring at it. He can't stop himself. He dials.

GIGI (V.O.)

Hey it's Gigi. You've reached my cell.

I'm either having a very good time or in

a meeting - either way just leave a

message and -

Alex hangs up. He stands there for a second, thinking.

Then he runs into his bedroom like a madman.

INT. GIGI'S APARTMENT HALLWAY - NIGHT

Gigi and Bill stand awkwardly outside her door.

GIGI:

It was nice meeting you.

BILL:

Thank you for a lovely evening.

GIGI:

You, too.

Bill reaches out for an ill timed hug. It's awkward.

GIGI (CONT'D)

Goodnight.

INT. GIGI'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

She comes inside, drops her stuff and sits on the couch.

Then, A KNOCK on the door. Gigi reluctantly gets up.

GIGI:

Did you forget something?

She opens the DOOR. It's not Bill. It's ALEX.

ALEX:

Yeah. I did.

GIGI:

Really? What did you forget?

ALEX:

This.

Alex reaches into his pocket and pulls out a PEN. THE

SAME PEN THAT GIGI PRETENDED TO BE RETURNING TO CONOR.

Gigi tries, without success, to suppress a SMILE.

FADE OUT.

INT. THE OWL BAR - NIGHT

A speakeasy from the 1900s that hasn't changed much. A

PIANO starts to play on a tiny stage - empty. And then -

a terrified but determined Anna takes her place in front

of the mic. And begins to SING.

It's a "THE LAST GOODBYE" by JEFF BUCKLEY - barely

recognizable - more of a torch song. As she sings, she

begins to gain confidence. We hear the song over:

INT. WESTSIDE LOFT - DAY

Beth and Neil's place. Neil comes in holding a few

MESSILY PACKED BOXES. He is clearly moving back in.

NEIL:

How did all this stuff fit in here fine

before?

Beth comes in after him, holding some of his clothes.

BETH:

I don't know. It expanded.

Neil collapses on the couch. Beth sits next to him, a

pile of clothes on her lap. She looks down and laughs.

BETH (CONT'D)

No you are not trying to bring these back

in here

Beth holds the CARGO PANTS that she protested before.

NEIL:

What? I have no idea what you're

BETH:

We had a deal. These are not staying.

NEIL:

That's really gonna free up a lot of

space.

BETH:

They're going. I have a bag I'm taking

to the Goodwill.

Neil watches her, smiling, as she walks across the room.

NEIL:

Okay, okay. You win. Just check to make

sure there's nothing in the pockets

before we give them away.

Beth dutifully puts her hands in the pockets. And then

she FEELS SOMETHING. Her face registers curiosity as she

pulls out - A BLACK VELVET RING BOX. Beth looks at it,

and when she looks up - Neil's down ON ONE KNEE.

NEIL (CONT'D)

I love you so much. So much. I want to

make you happy. I need to make you happy

for me to even have a shot at being

happy, too.

Tears stream down Beth's face. Neil pops open the box,

revealing an ENGAGEMENT RING.

NEIL (CONT'D)

Will you marry me?

Neil gets up and KISSES HER. They kiss, passionately,

for a long moment. And then:

BETH:

Yes. Of course, yes.

INT. GIGI'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Gigi and Alex stand in her entry. She holds the PEN.

GIGI:

You came all the way here - at 11 at

night - to give me back a promotional

pen?

ALEX:

I thought I better come up with some

excuse to get over here. Isn't that how

it's done?

GIGI:

Sometimes.

Alex looks at Gigi for a long moment. He looks nervous.

ALEX:

Look, I can't stop thinking about you. I

drive by your place. I call and hang up.

I'm turning into

GIGI:

Me.

He LAUGHS.

ALEX:

Yeah.

GIGI:

Well, a wise person once told me that if

a guy wants to be with a girl, he will

make it happen. No matter what.

ALEX:

True.

GIGI:

Hmmm. Because when I was hurling my body

onto yours - you did not seem to want to

"make it happen."

ALEX:

Here's the thing about that. You were

right. I've gotten so used to keeping

myself at a safe distance from these

women, having the power - that I didn't

know what it felt like when I actually -

fell - for one of them.

Gigi considers this.

GIGI:

Look, I've just been out with your friend

Bill. And it just might be exactly what

I need. No drama. He calls. He does

what he says.

ALEX:

I could do that stuff too.

GIGI:

But you didn't. And that same wise

person told me that I am the rule. That

I have to stop thinking that every guy

will change - stop thinking that I will

be the -

But before she can finish her sentence, Alex KISSES HER.

A LONG, SLOW, PASSIONATE KISS.

GIGI (CONT'D)

- that I will be the exception.

Alex looks at her.

ALEX:

You are my exception.

They continue to KISS.

EXT. GAY PRIDE PARADE - NIGHT

A staple of summer in Baltimore.

The rickety Baltimore Blade float comes by. It's a very

phallic "blade" with a A BUNCH OF YOUNG SHIRTLESS MEN

dancing and waving. Mary rides the float, too, waving to

the crowd with Nathan, Joshua and Bruce.

Conor, with a NATTILY DRESSED GAY COUPLE, stands on the

street watching. Nathan calls down from the float.

NATHAN:

Jonathan?

NATTILY DRESSED GAY

What are you guys doing up there?

NATHAN:

Dancing. Get your asses up here.

With that, the two Nattily Dressed Gays grab Conor, and

climb up onto the float. They SHOUT over the music.

NATTILY DRESSED GAY

This is Conor. He just sold us on the

most amazing duplex in Mt. Vernon.

MARY:

Hey, Conor. I'm Mary.

Conor looks at Mary and SMILES. All of the gay men

around them start to DANCE. LIKE REALLY, REALLY DANCE.

MARY (CONT’D)

It's so great to finally meet you in

person.

CONOR:

You, too.

They look at each other. Is there a connection?

CONOR (CONT’D)

Would you like to dance?

MARY:

I'd love to.

Conor takes her hand - and the two of them do an old

fashioned slow dance on the float. As everyone freaks

around them, they smile and dance in each others' arms.

EXT. HIGHLANDTOWN HOUSE - NIGHT

Ben walks into the house and looks around - no Janine.

As he heads to the stairs, he stops in his tracks. At

the bottom of the stairs - ALL OF HIS CLOTHES are

stacked, neatly folded into piles. He approaches, then

sees a CARTON OF CIGARETTES on top of one pile

BEN:

Sh*t...

- and a NOTE taped onto the carton: BEN - KNOCK YOURSELF

OUT. - JANINE P.S. I WANT A DIVORCE.

Ben slumps down, devastated.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. HARBOR - DAY

A beautiful sunny day on the harbor. Anna's song fades

out, and the sound of Gigi's voice fades up.

GIGI (V.O.)

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing

up. If a guy punches you, he likes you.

Never try to trim your own bangs.

EXT. BOAT - DAY

Out on the sparkling water, Neil's boat. As we get

closer, we see garlands on the rails, on the bough. Even

closer and we see - Beth on the arm of her father. He

escorts her down a mini aisle. On the bough of the boat -

is a TINY WEDDING. About six guests. And Neil, waiting

for Beth at the altar.

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