He's Just Not That Into You Page #3

Gigi makes a move for the phone, Janine stops her.

JANINE (CONT'D)

Seriously, stop.

GIGI:

He said he always hangs at Red Maple

after work. Maybe I should do a little

drive-by?

JANINE:

Please, don't. He'll call.

Off Gigi - panic seeping in.

FADE TO CHAPTER CARD: ...IF HE'S NOT CALLING YOU

AMBER, pretty if a little thick in the middle, sits in

the courtyard of an office park in her work clothes.

AMBER:

Caller ID was the worst thing that’s ever

happened to me. Total invasion of my

personal freedom. When a guy doesn’t

call me, it is my right - my duty even -

to call him and hang up several thousand

times. Or at least until his mother

shouts at me in Albanian and blows a

police whistle into the phone. I mean,

calling and hanging up is an age old

expression of love and frustration and

too many wine coolers - and who is AT&

f'ing T to take that away from me?

(MORE)

AMBER (CONT'D)

Next thing you know, someone is going to

ban me from sitting in my car in front of

a guy’s house, blaring “Where Is Your

Heart” by Kelly Clarkson until his new

stupid girlfriend comes outside and

threatens to scratch my eyes out with her

acrylics. I mean, a girl deserves

freedom of expression, right?

INT. GYM - DAY

Pilates class. We pan down the row of mats, STUDENTS

obediently doing The Mermaid. We finally land on Gigi's

mat:
Gigi manages to twist herself into a passable

Mermaid - as her CELL PHONE lies in full view on her mat.

INT. GIGI'S APARTMENT - BATHROOM - NIGHT

Shower is on, curtain pulled. A CELL PHONE RINGS. An

ARM SHOOTS out of the shower and grabs it from the sink.

GIGI:

Mom, I gotta call you back.

INT. GIGI'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - NIGHT

Gigi lays in bed, her CELL PHONE right next to her head.

One eye POPS OPEN, checks the phone, and closes again.

INT. MCCORMICK SPICES CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS - DAY

A typical, corporate style office. Walled off cubicles

for the junior execs, outer offices for management.

Gigi is in her cubicle. Janine, her friend and, we now

learn, co-worker, sits on Gigi's desk.

JANINE:

So, this was at the end of the date, or

at the beginning?

GIGI:

End. Why - does it matter?

JANINE:

Yeah. "Nice meeting you" at the beginning

of the date is normal. "Nice meeting

you" at the end could be a blow off.

GIGI:

Maybe it was at the beginning.

JANINE:

Then that's fine. He's gonna call.

GIGI:

Or maybe it was at the end. Or maybe it

was nice to meet me.

JANINE:

Wait - was it "nice meeting you" or "nice

to meet you"?

GIGI:

Sh*t. I can't remember.

JANINE:

"Nice to meet you" is OK. "Nice meeting

you" is like "Do you want your receipt in

the bag?"

The girls look up to find BETH standing there, listening.

BETH:

Remember the days when you guys at least

pretended to be working when I came in?

Beth heads to her office. Janine and Gigi follow.

BETH (CONT'D)

Janine, how's the press release?

Janine, clearly organized, flips open her notebook:

JANINE:

Beckon the baking to begin! McCormick,

the flavor expert, introduces five fun

filled flavors that will definitely

delight dessert divas!

Gigi stifles a laugh.

BETH:

Maybe a shade heavy on the alliteration -

but otherwise good.

(to Gigi)

Where are we with the company newsletter?

GIGI:

I am so almost done with that. It's just

been a little hard to focus on my article

about the two sets of twins in market

research, when the guy - who may or may

not be the guy of my dreams - refuses to

call me.

Beth looks at Gigi, more sympathetic friend than boss.

BETH:

Look, after my first date with Neil, I

called him. There are no rules anymore.

Why should you have to wait for him to

get off his ass?

INT. MCCORMICK SPICES CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS - DAY

Gigi sits at her desk, Janine standing by her side.

She's got a few sheets of paper on her desk.

Gigi takes a deep breath, picks up the office phone and

dials. Janine gives her a thumbs up.

GIGI:

It's ringing.

JANINE:

Pretty standard.

GIGI:

(listening to receiver)

Yes! Voicemail.

JANINE:

Your notes.

Gigi nods - it's all under control.

GIGI:

(reading off her paper)

Hey, Conor. It's Gigi. I just thought,

I hadn't heard from you and, I mean how

stupid is it that a gal has got to wait

for a guy's call anyway, right?

Gigi laughs, but as she looks back to the notes, she

seems confused. She turns to Janine, panicked, mouthing -

"What does this say?". Janine looks - she's no help.

GIGI (CONT’D)

(clearly ad-libbing)

I mean, we're all equal, right? More

than equal -- more women are accepted

into law school now than men, and we do

better in those police simulations where

you can mistakenly shoot innocent people

(rifles through the pages)

- I mean I don't know if you saw that

Dateline - but women practically have

penises now, right?

(looks to Janine, helpless)

Well, call me. This is Gigi. Call me.

Gigi hangs up, unsure. She looks to Janine.

JANINE:

Don't worry. He's totally gonna call.

INT. GIGI'S APARTMENT - LATER

Gigi stares at the PHONE. Then she feigns disinterest in

the phone. It still doesn't ring. Finally, she picks up

the receiver to listen for a dial tone. And PANICS.

GIGI:

WHAT? How can there be no dial tone?

She frantically jiggles the cord, then hears something.

GIGI (CONT'D)

Mom? Is that you? I can't talk now.

I'll call you back.

She hangs up, stares at the phone again. A look of

DETERMINATION crosses her face. She dials.

GIGI (CONT'D)

Janine. It's me. Conor never called, so

I'm on the precipice of staging a casual

run-in at Red Maple. Pick up if you want

to stop me.

(beat, then really fast)

Alright-I'm-interpreting-your-silence-as

tacit-compliance-bye.

Gigi hurriedly hangs up, and heads out the door.

INT. RED MAPLE - NIGHT

A CROWDED, SCENEY restaurant/bar - with a giant red

Japanese maple growing behind the bar (thus the name).

We follow a THIN, BLACK CLAD HOSTESS as we wind through

the throng of stylish twentysomethings at the bar to:

INT. RED MAPLE - KITCHEN - SAME

A busy kitchen. Off the kitchen a door leads to:

INT. RED MAPLE - OFFICE - SAME

ALEX sits at a small, cluttered desk, rifling through

some papers. Then, from the doorway:

KELLI ANN:

Knock knock.

Alex looks up to see KELLI ANN - Red Maple's hot hostess,

standing in the doorway. She makes her way in.

ALEX:

Hey.

KELLI ANN:

So. Here we are. Same shift again.

ALEX:

I know. I make the schedule.

KELLI ANN:

(flirting)

I figured it was no coincidence.

She leans against the desk. Alex keeps working.

KELLI ANN (CONT’D)

I had fun the other night.

ALEX:

Yeah. It's amazing where 10 shots of

Patron will get you.

Kelli Ann laughs, then thinks - wait, was that nice?

KELLI ANN:

Anyway - I was thinking, maybe tonight

after work...we could, you know...

Alex stops what he's doing, looks up at her.

ALEX:

Look, Kelli Ann - what happened between

us the other night was - fun. But we're

way understaffed tonight - I even have to

man the bar - and that's why I scheduled

you. To work. So...

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