He's Just Not That Into You Page #4

He goes back to work. Kelli Ann stands there, frozen.

Alex can feel her eyes on him.

ALEX (CONT’D)

Are we good here?

Kelli Ann's face goes flush. She tries to hide it. She

backs up, puts on a smile.

KELLI ANN:

No. We're good.

She leaves. Alex exhales, goes back to work.

INT. RED MAPLE - LATER

In the back doorway leading to the alley, Alex stands

chatting with TYRONE, 18, a busboy, who smokes a

cigarette he holds just outside the doorway.

Kelli Ann approaches, trying to squeeze through, and

ACCIDENTALLY (ON PURPOSE) SHOULDER BLOCKS ALEX. HARD.

He has to take a step to catch his balance.

He turns around to see what happened, but Kelli Ann keeps

walking eyes front. He and Tyrone share a look.

TYRONE:

Dude.

ALEX:

I know.

Tyrone laughs as Alex shakes his head, not happy.

INT. RED MAPLE - HOSTESS STAND

Gigi enters slowly, looking around, searching for Conor.

She tries to move toward the bar as she's met by Kelli

Ann, who grabs a few menus and slaps on a smile.

KELLI ANN:

Are you joining us for dinner or

GIGI:

I'm meeting someone. A guy.

KELLI ANN:

Ugh. Why?

GIGI:

Hmmmm?

KELLI ANN:

Nothing. Sorry. For dinner?

Gigi continues to scan the place, not paying attention.

GIGI:

I'm meeting someone.

KELLI ANN:

I believe you mentioned that.

Gigi finishes her visual tour of the room - no Conor.

GIGI:

I'm gonna wait at the bar.

KELLI ANN:

That's a great idea.

Gigi walks off. Kelli Ann takes her place behind the

hostess stand.

AT THE BAR:

Gigi grabs a stool with a good view of the door. Alex,

now behind the bar, approaches.

ALEX:

What can I get you?

GIGI:

Oh, that's OK. I'm meeting someone.

Alex takes her in. She's clearly nervous.

ALEX:

Oh, yeah? Got a hot date?

GIGI:

I don't know if you'd call it hot -- I

mean this guy Conor and I have only been

out the one time so -

ALEX:

Wait - Conor Barry?

Gigi is busted.

GIGI:

Oh, uhh, yeah -

ALEX:

Conor's not coming in tonight. Did he

forget he was supposed to meet you?

GIGI:

See when I said "meeting someone" I guess

that was kind of a broad term, kind of a

wide interpretation of the word "meeting"

ALEX:

Because I could just call him -

Alex reaches for the phone.

GIGI:

NO! I mean, totally unnecessary. I

mean, I actually was just - in the area -

so I figured I'd just swing by and see if

he was around - because - uhhh --

Alex waits, looking at Gigi, amused. She is panicking.

GIGI (CONT'D)

I uhh, had to return his --

Gigi frantically searches her coat pockets - searching

for something, anything - and finally fishes out A PEN.

She looks at it - and decides to go with it.

GIGI (CONT'D)

Pen. I had to return this - pen. He

left this. So, I thought I should really

return it before he - you know

(conspiratorially to Alex)

-- freaks out.

Alex looks at her skeptically. And then takes the PEN,

and inspects it.

ALEX:

Dr. Frankel - Adult, Child and Geriatric

Dentistry.

GIGI:

Look, I'm not gonna judge about what may

or may not be important to someone.

ALEX:

That's not even his dentist.

GIGI:

Oh, really? Then who's his dentist?

ALEX:

My dad.

Gigi looks at Alex for a long moment, and finally folds.

GIGI:

I'm Gigi. Conor and I went out last

week. And I just...I thought if I ran

into him...I don't know. I'm gonna go.

Gigi struggles to get out quickly. Alex looks at her -

holding her pen, looking quite frazzled - and softens.

ALEX:

Hey. Just - hang out for a second.

Lemme buy you a drink.

Gigi SMILES and sits back down.

INT. RED MAPLE - NIGHT

It's late. The bar is nearly empty. Alex is totaling

receipts - and Gigi is still nursing a drink.

ALEX:

Look, you seem like a cool girl, so I'm

just gonna be honest - Conor is never

going to call you.

GIGI:

Oh really? How do you know?

ALEX:

Because I'm a guy. It's how we do it.

GIGI:

(hopeful)

He said it was nice meeting me.

ALEX:

I don't care if he said you were his

favorite female since his mommy and

Joanie Cunningham. Over a week went by -

and he didn't call.

GIGI:

But maybe he called me and I didn't get

the message. Or maybe he lost my number,

or was out of town, or was hit by a cab,

or his grandma died.

ALEX:

Or maybe he just didn't call because he

has no interest in seeing you again.

GIGI:

Yeah but my friend Terri once went out

with this guy who never called and she

totally wrote him off - then like a year

later she ran into him -

ALEX:

Your friend Terri's an idiot. And she's

the exception.

GIGI:

OK. But what if I'm the exception?

ALEX:

You're not. You're the rule. And the

rule is - if a guy doesn't call you, he

doesn't want to call you.

GIGI:

Really? Always?

ALEX:

Yeah. Always. I know what blowing off a

woman looks like. I do it early and I do

it often. Trust me - if a guy is

treating you like he doesn't give a sh*t

- he doesn't. No exceptions.

Gigi thinks this over.

GIGI:

Why are you telling me all of this?

Aren't these man-secrets - like why men

need to watch televised golf?

Alex LAUGHS.

ALEX:

I don't know. You looked like you could

really use the help.

GIGI:

Thank you. You've given me a lot to

think about.

Gigi smiles at him.

INT. MCCORMICK SPICES CORP. HQ - DAY

Gigi comes in - carrying a MESSY HANDFUL OF PAPERS, with

crazy hair and wearing the last outfit we saw her in.

JANINE:

Everything OK?

GIGI:

I was up all night.

JANINE:

Please say you were working on the

newsletter.

GIGI:

Sure. It's basically done. But this is

important.

JANINE:

What's happening with your hair?

Beth comes out of her office and looks at Gigi.

BETH:

Please come in my office before the

others see that you have mini muffin

stuck in your hair.

INT. MCCORMICK SPICES CORP. HQ - BETH'S OFFICE - DAY

Gigi paces in front of Beth's desk.

GIGI:

I think I figured it out. Remember when

I went out with that notary public? And

he cheated on me? And then Anastasia

from upstairs told us that story about

how her boyfriend cheated on her at the

beginning - but then he totally changed

and they're married and crazy in love.

BETH:

I thought that guy was a process server.

GIGI:

No, notary. Anyway, the point is -

Anastasia is the exception. Not the

rule. We have to stop listening to these

stories - because the rule is that most

guys who cheat on you up front don't

really care about you very much.

BETH:

Okay...

Gigi consults her crumpled pieces of paper.

GIGI:

Exhibit A:
Chad, the drummer who lived

in his storage space. He only used me

for rides, yet I continued to stalk him

for most of 1998. Then there was Don,

who broke up with me every Friday so he

could have his weekends free. I was so

delusional about our relationship that I

referred to him as my husband to random

people like my dental hygenist.

(MORE)

GIGI (CONT'D)

And all my friends would tell me stories

about how things might work out with

these dipshits because they knew someone

Rate this script:4.0 / 2 votes