He's Just Not That Into You Page #6

then, after all that, wanting to take a

year off. And giving it a fun name that

you can put on t-shirts.

(looks at the baby, smiles)

I left him.

INT. HIGHLANDTOWN HOUSE - BEDROOM - DAY

Ben, our married guy from the grocery store, sits on the

floor in a barely furnished room, and dials his cell.

BEN:

Hey, Anna. This is Ben. Look, I know

it's been a little while since you

called. I just - it took me by surprise.

But I offered to help you with your

career, and I don't see why I can't do

that, right? So, give me a call. Maybe

you can come by the office this week or

something. Okay, take care. Bye.

Ben hangs up. And STARES INTO SPACE until THE DOOR OPENS

TO REVEAL:
JANINE. Gigi's co-worker. And Ben's WIFE.

JANINE:

Hey, how -

Ben is CLEARLY STARTLED.

BEN:

Sh*t - you scared me.

Janine looks at him.

JANINE:

Is everything OK?

BEN:

Yeah. Everything's fine. Why?

She sits down next to him, looks at him intently.

JANINE:

Are you smoking again?

BEN:

No, sweetie. Why?

JANINE:

Well - you get jumpy when you smoke.

Ben puts his arm around Janine, and pulls her close.

BEN:

I'm not smoking. So, why don't we worry

about what color we're gonna paint this

room, instead of worrying about things

that aren't happening?

Janine contentedly curls up to Ben.

JANINE:

I don't know - I was thinking maybe -

pink?

BEN:

Pink? Seriously?

JANINE:

Well, I mean, at some point.

Janine gives Ben a knowing look. He gets it.

BEN:

You sure we're ready for this now?

JANINE:

No. But I mean, we could paint one room

pink and one blue just in case.

Ben looks at her and LAUGHS.

BEN:

You've already created the perfect family

in this house, and we don't even have

drywall.

JANINE:

I'm sorry. I know I promised we'd wait

to talk about it -

Ben looks at her, snuggled against him.

BEN:

I think we're almost ready to start

talking about it.

Janine smiles CONTENTEDLY.

JANINE:

I've always liked the name Gisele.

Ben LAUGHS. She lets him.

INT. PORTER'S - EVENING

Packed, Federal Hill happy hour bar scene. Gigi and

Janine stand, squeezed in among the after work crowd.

JARRAD, early thirties, chats amiably with Gigi.

JARRAD:

Well, ladies, I guess I have to get back

to the office.

GIGI:

You go back to the office after happy

hour? What's happy about that?

JARRAD:

I met you.

Janine and Gigi melt.

JARRAD (CONT'D)

So, I’d love to call you sometime. Do

you have a card?

GIGI:

Of course.

Gigi hands him her card with lightning speed.

JARRAD:

And here's my info.

Jarrad hands Gigi HIS CARD as well.

JARRAD (CONT'D)

Look forward to hearing from you, Gigi.

He starts to head over to his BUDDIES. Gigi is confused.

GIGI:

So, wait -- how are we doing this? Are

you hearing from me or am I getting a

call?

Jarrad turns back.

JARRAD:

What?

GIGI:

You said you’d love to call me, but then

you said "look forward to hearing from

you." See how that’s kinda confusing?

JARRAD:

Look - we'll talk. We'll get in touch.

He tries to take off again.

GIGI:

Ooopsie - you did it again. Very vague.

You know what? Why don’t we just say

that you'll call me, and then we can skip

all the nonsense.

Jarrad just gives her a blank stare.

GIGI (CONT'D)

Or I guess I could just call you -

JARRAD:

Goodbye, Gigi.

He takes off. The girls watch him.

GIGI:

He was cute.

JANINE:

Please don't cyber-stalk him.

Gigi looks at the name on the card - JARRAD MONTROSE -

and then - TEARS HIS BUSINESS CARD IN TWO.

JANINE (CONT'D)

Wait - what are you doing?

GIGI:

I'm not calling him. If he wants to see

me - he'll call.

JANINE:

Wow, that guy Alex really made an

impression on you. Was he hot?

GIGI:

No. He was just -- right.

Off Gigi, sipping her drink, full of optimism.

INT. BALTIMORE BLADE - DAY

The offices of Baltimore's gay weekly paper. The

elevator opens - and in walks Mary, cheerful as always.

We follow her down the hall as she ad-libs hellos to her

co-workers. One thing becomes glaringly clear - SHE IS

THE ONLY WOMAN WHO WORKS HERE.

She gets to her desk and is descended upon by - BRUCE,

NATHAN, and JOSHUA. All mid-20's. All gay.

BRUCE:

So?

Mary looks at them, smiling, enjoying their impatience.

MARY:

He asked me out.

NATHAN:

Oh my god! He called?

MARY:

Well

JOSHUA:

He emailed?

MARY:

Umm

BRUCE:

What? Did he travel by carriage and

leave his calling card with your lady in

waiting?

MARY:

He MySpaced me.

The guys all look skeptical.

NATHAN:

Ouch.

JOSHUA:

I don't know. My slutty sister says

MySpace is the new booty call.

MARY:

Well, what am I supposed to do? Things

have changed. People don't just meet

organically anymore. If I want to make

myself more attractive to the opposite

sex, I don't go get a new haircut - I

update my profile. That's just how it

is.

The guys look at her, starting to understand. Mary's

PHONE RINGS.

MARY (CONT'D)

Back to work.

She smiles at the guys - they disperse as she picks up.

MARY (CONT'D)

Ad sales - this is Mary.

INTERCUT WITH EXT. LIGHT ST. - DAY

Conor sits on a bench, NEWSPAPER folded open on his lap.

CONOR:

Hey, it's Conor. Anna's - uh - friend.

Or whatever.

MARY:

Hey. So, did you see it?

CONOR:

I'm not sure about this.

MARY:

You gotta trust me. It's a burgeoning

market. You're gonna make a fortune.

Conor looks at the paper.

CONOR:

Yeah. I hope so. But, like - did you

have to put me on the page with the

massage ads?

MARY:

It was either that or on the page with

the personals. I made a call.

CONOR:

OK. You're right. Hey, have you talked

to Anna lately?

Conor leaves the paper and gets up. He walks away, still

on the phone, we STAY WITH THE NEWSPAPER AND WE PUSH IN.

UNDER VARIOUS 1 INCH ADS FOR MASSEUSES, S&M and LEATHER

TYPE SERVICES - THERE'S A HALF PAGE AD UNDER THE TITLE:

THE HOME FOR YOUR LIFESTYLE - CONOR BARRY - REAL ESTATE

Under which is a picture of Conor, standing in front of a

brick Tudor, a SOLD SIGN proudly displayed. In the

background - TWO MEN look lovingly at their new home.

INT. POTOMAC HOUSE - DINING ROOM - DAY

PAIGE, blonde and angelic, looks on as LAURA, CATHERINE,

and Beth pull on matching coral dresses.

CATHERINE:

I do not understand how you got mom to

sew all of these in two weeks.

PAIGE:

She wanted to do it.

LAURA:

Mom told me she felt like an old

Indonesian lady in a sweatshop.

PAIGE:

No, she didn't.

BETH:

Why again do you need to get married so

fast?

CATHERINE:

You're so pregnant.

PAIGE:

I'm not pregnant.

CATHERINE:

Chug a beer, then. I want to see you

chug a beer.

PAIGE:

We're in love, you a**holes. That's what

people do when they're in love - they get

married.

Everyone FREEZES. And looks at BETH. Big silence.

PAIGE (CONT'D)

Bethie, you know I didn't mean -

BETH:

It's OK. Neil and I are actually - done -

anyway.

This is clearly news.

CATHERINE:

Why didn't you tell us? You should have

told us.

LAURA:

You have to come over and have dinner

with me and Steven and the kids tonight,

OK? You can even stay over if you want.

Rate this script:4.0 / 2 votes