Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse Page #6

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savage like those people."

- Or something like that?

- Okay.

You try it, though. "This is your hell."

"This dream is your hell.

This is your nightmare.

"You made it, you liquor-guzzling,

dipsomaniac son of a b*tch.

"You bastard! "

Somehow get the idea that you...

You're going mad.

You've gone mad.

Once he set that feel for us,

we just started improvising

everything that was happening

on the boat.

Sampan off the port bow.

Let's take a look.

Lance. Bring them in.

Clean, on the.60. Chef, get a. 16.

Francis had us write up lists of things

that we wanted our characters to do.

I remember we all decided

that we wanted to do

sort of a My Lai Massacre.

We thought an interrogation of a boat

that ended in a firefight

and the loss of many lives.

We wanted to experience

something like that.

- There ain't nothing in here.

- What's in the boxes?

Not a f***ing thing.

- Look in that tin can.

- Nothing.

- That rusty can.

- Just f***ing rice, that's all!

- There ain't nothing on it!

- Check the yellow can.

Check the yellow can.

She was sitting on it. What's in it?

Chef!

Motherfuckers!

- Hold it!

- Come on, let's kill them all.

- F***ing cocksucking mothers!

- Hold it! Hold it!

Let's kill all the a**holes!

Shoot the sh*t out of all of them.

- Chef, hold it!

- Why not? Jesus Christ.

Why the f*** not?

- Clean?

- I'm good.

See what she was running for?

It's a f***ing puppy!

I think what it was that was me

that was Clean was just that I was a kid.

And that's, I think,

what my role is about.

I mean, it's about the kids

that were over there

who didn't know anything

about anything.

They were just kind of snatched up

and used as cannon fodder for this war.

Everyone who has come out here

to the Philippines

seems to be going through something

that is affecting them profoundly,

changing their perspective

about the world or themselves,

while the same thing is happening

to Willard in the course of the film.

Something is definitely

happening to me and to Francis.

Filmmaking, at least for me,

wasn't really just a matter

of writing this little script

and then going and doing it

as you thought that your own life

and your own experience

during the making of it

was also a very strong element,

and that somehow the director works

with more than just having the script

and having the team

of people and actors.

Also, the conditions and the mood

of the company and of each individual

and what personally

people are going through

is also one of

the primary elements of the film.

I mean, what's the matter with you?

You're acting kind of weird.

Hey, you know that last tab of acid

I was saving?

- Yeah.

- I dropped it.

You dropped acid? Far out.

Most of my character was done

under the influence of pot.

We smoked a lot of that.

You know, the film crew

just became our guests upriver with us.

- Did you drop any acid?

- Sure.

- Did you drop any acid during filming?

- Sure.

At Do Luong bridge?

No, I did something else

at Do Luong bridge. I...

I didn't take any acid there.

I did something else.

- What did you do?

- I was doing speed then.

We were working lots of nights,

and I wanted a speedy sort of edge. I...

And marijuana and alcohol...

I mean, we were bad.

We were just bad boys.

Sort of crazy, you know. Slightly mad.

The whole thing was mad, you know.

We felt after a while

we really weren't there.

It was like

we were in a dream or something.

We'd say to Francis,

"I'm not here, Francis.

I'm in Montana with Jack Nicholson."

So they'd say,

"Where are you today, Freddy?"

I'd be in Waco,

I could be in Des Moines...

Wherever I wanted to be.

And you would just go through your day.

You weren't in that place.

...study at the Escoffier School.

That was really crazy, man,

that time in the jungle

with me and Marty and the tiger.

Yeah, that was really...

That was just insane.

We had this guy there with the tiger...

A couple, the trainers.

He had a slight speech impediment.

He had scar tissue,

like, all over his face

where he'd had some bouts

with his tiger, Gambi.

You had a cat that's done that two

or three times, it's no longer worth it.

Because once

they put a hole in your leg...

It's usually on the joint because

it's usually where they're going for,

and you can't walk for a year.

And you don't wanna do it anymore,

so you usually put the cat out

and start over again.

The trainer had, like, a pig on a string,

so the tiger would see him.

Then he was gonna pull him back

to make him jump

at the right angle or something.

So the guy'd come around and say,

"Gambi's very hungry today, Martin.

He's very hungry, Mr. Coppola.

"I'm sure he will do exactly

what you want.

"We haven't fed him in a week."

- Oh, sh*t.

- Action.

We'd come out there and

Francis'd keep saying, "Get closer."

We're saying, "You get closer, Francis.

You get closer. "

What is it?

Charlie? V.C.?

Tiger!

Man, I've never been so frightened

in my life,

because it was so fast, man.

Guys were running everywhere,

climbing trees.

I gotta remember. Never get out of the boat.

Never get out of the boat!

And to me, that was the essence

of the whole film in Vietnam,

where it was the look

in that tiger's eyes, the madness,

like it didn't matter what you wanted.

There was no reality anymore.

If that tiger wanted you, you were his.

Never get out of the boat.

Absolutely goddamn right.

Unless you were going all the way.

I remember complaining

to Francis one day about my confusion

about all that was going down,

and I said to him,

"I don't know who this guy is.

Who is this Willard?"

And Francis just looked at me

square in the eye and he said,

"He's you. Whoever you are.

"Whatever we're filming at the time,

you are that character."

Francis said he had a dream

a few nights ago

about being on the set

of the Saigon hotel room

with Marty and a Green Beret advisor.

In the dream,

the Green Beret was telling Francis

that what he was doing with Marty

was wrong. It would never be like that.

The Green Beret said

those guys were vain.

The guy would go to the mirror

and admire his beautiful hair

and beautiful mouth.

In Francis' dream, he had Marty

go to the mirror and look at himself,

admire his mouth.

And when he turned around,

Francis could see that Marty

had suddenly turned into Willard.

Francis was going for a moment

where you see

Martin Sheen's dark side,

his primeval being or something...

Some part of him

that would lead you to understand

how this person could

commit an assassination.

At the time of doing that scene,

I was talking in terms of

showing the different levels

of good and evil in yourself.

And I imagined that this guy did things

that nobody had ever seen,

or he'd never talk to anyone,

must still be in him.

And he must have that Kurtzian

other side in him.

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