Hell's Kitty Page #2

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it in your refrigerator?

Throw it down the garbage

disposal or something.

What if she comes back

and wants her tongue back?

(mocking speech impediment)

What are you doing?

My impression of somebody

asking for their tongue back.

You're sick.

Listen, I've been called

a lot worse by a lot better.

I hired a therapist.

You need a cat whisperer.

Look.

What do you think?

Yeah, she is way too hot to be

any good.

She's the only one who

will make house calls.

She's coming later today.

Well I better get

rid of this then.

Last thing you need is

to be making a drink for

this girl and accidentally

slip her the tongue.

(gentle electric guitar music)

I think it's love.

Pardon?

Not real love, but love

addiction.

So are you saying

that it's not real love?

It's real for her, but that

doesn't mean it's real love.

You see, love addicts lack

self-esteem.

Likely from some early

life loss or trauma,

so they get wrapped up

in the drama wanting

others to love them to

the point of obsession.

How do you know so

much about this?

(chuckles)

Because I used to be a love

addict too.

That's great!

Give her the attention

she thinks

she wants and then

maybe she'll stop

sinking her claws

so deeply into you.

(hissing)

[Nick] Stop that!

Just you and me tonight

You, you touch my heart

You make me swoon

Like no one has before

You, you make me purr

You make me feel

Like I'm alive once more

Tonight, you're all I need

(record scratch)

You think you might

be taking that

therapist suggestion a little

too far?

What are you doing, Adam?

I'm trying to sleep.

I can see that.

I know you're a

little desperate,

but you're sleeping with

your cat, come on, man.

What do you mean, I sleep

with her all the time.

You know I'm recording

this right?

You'll never write in this

town again.

It's not what you think.

Really?

Rose petals?

(meows)

[Publisher] Well did

Angel calm down after that?

For a little bit.

(gentle acoustic guitar music)

Like the sparrow needs his

wings to fly

I just need your kiss

to live

Come on, little sparrow

(moaning)

Little sparrow

You need to embrace it.

Just go with it.

I know it's hard.

(hissing)

What was that?

(chomping)

(whimpering)

(dramatic sting)

(screaming)

(growling)

(door creaks)

(ominous atmosphere music)

Did you ever figure

out what the note meant?

Sort of.

(teapot whistling)

Grandma was the first to sniff

things out.

It was like she can smell

trouble before it happened.

(upbeat jazzy music)

(hissing)

Grandma, tea's ready.

Good.

How nice dear, thank you.

I'm worried about you.

I'm okay grandma, really.

Well I don't know.

Angel certainly doesn't

look okay.

What do you mean?

No, she's not herself.

Maybe it's something she ate.

Something she ate?

I know cats.

So about you.

You look tired.

Are you all right?

It's been a rough few days.

How's your love life?

Grandma, please.

I know women too,

and I know some

of them can be

downright villainous.

But if you need me, please

don't be afraid to call.

I may be old, but I

have nine lives as well.

I'm as fierce as any feline.

Thank you grandma, I

appreciate that.

But the nightmares just

kept getting worse.

(dramatic sting)

Why didn't you listen to me?

(menacing laughter)

Things have really taken

a downward spiral lately.

I've been having

these nightmares.

[Laurie] What sort of

nightmares?

(moaning)

Sexual ones.

[Laurie] With anyone

in particular?

No.

Are you aware that

your legs are shaking?

I'm going to be candid.

You're sexually frustrated.

Angel has prevented you

from having any real

relationship with a woman

and it's driving you crazy.

Do you masturbate?

Masturbate?

Masturbate?

Pardon?

(rock music)

Meow.

It's nothing to be ashamed of,

it helps

release all this

built up tension.

I've tried it.

Just doesn't work for me.

(meowing)

(screaming)

Well have you tried embracing

Angel's love like we discussed?

I have.

[Laurie] And is it working?

I don't really know.

She hasn't tried to attack

anyone lately.

I suppose that's progress.

You touch my heart

(ominous atmosphere music)

(screaming)

Oh stop it.

So I got fired from

my job today.

I didn't even know you

had a job.

Well I did for about

three days.

I was an extra.

How does one get fired

from being an extra?

It's actually simpler

than you might thing.

Taking a non-speaking role and

turning it into a speaking role.

I figured what's the point of

being an

extra if you're not doing

something extra.

Director disagreed.

So you got axed.

It's the makeup

artist downstairs.

She's using me as a model

for some

new horror movie she's

working on.

Adam, if you don't mind,

I'm trying

to have dinner with my cat here.

All right, I'll leave,

I'll leave.

(dramatic sting)

(screaming)

Did I scare you?

Who are you?

Pluto.

Detective Pluto.

I am here, I am investigating

the disappearance of one...

Lisa Graves.

I didn't know Lisa

was missing.

(purring)

What a nice kitty.

(dramatic sting)

What is that?

(chuckling)

(laughter)

Breath mint?

Don't mind if I do.

Ow, ow ow ow ow

ow ow ow ow ow!

(dramatic atmospheric drumming)

Think he's giving you

the finger?

Humph.

I, no, I still

don't understand

why the detective

bit this finger.

I don't know.

What about the finger?

It wasn't real.

I got it from the

makeup lady downstairs.

I must've dropped it.

Why didn't you say something?

I didn't wanna

complicate things.

You nearly gave me

a heart attack.

Where are you going?

I'm gonna tell that

mysterious neighbor

of mine what I think of

the screams, the blood

in the hallway and her

giving you the finger!

(door creaks open)

(ominous atmosphere music)

(loud slam)

(floor creaking)

(clock bell rings)

(woman screaming)

(woman screaming)

(woman screaming)

(floor creaking)

(woman screaming)

(dramatic sting)

(woman screaming)

Things kept getting weirder by

the moment.

I needed to clear my head.

But every corner I turned led

me deeper into a fog of mystery.

Running from someone?

Can I help you?

I hope so.

I believe you used to

date my daughter.

Oh, I don't know where

Lisa is.

Lisa?

No, my last name is Carrie.

I'm Rosemary's mother.

Rosemary.

Do you remember her?

Yes.

How's Rosemary doing?

She's dead.

(dramatic sting)

I'm really sorry to

hear about...

Rosemary.

Right, Rosemary.

We dated a couple years ago?

Six months ago.

She was blonde?

Brunette.

It's all so foggy to me.

Really?

Because she wrote about you in

her diary.

Here.

Read it.

Go ahead, she wouldn't mind.

(dramatic sting)

If you don't mind my

asking, how did she die?

Poison.

Oh my God.

Oh!

(dramatic sting)

It moved.

The box moved!

Please be careful.

I'm pygmachophobic.

A fear of boxes.

You never know what

you might find in them.

My husband once brought

home a crate.

(shrieks)

(shrieks)

(woman screaming)

It's all right.

It's nothing to be afraid

of, it's just my cat Angel.

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