Henry's Crime Page #6

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- If you mean his dick, yeah.

You!

First I see you guys in the bank,

then I see you guys

in the alley next to the bank,

now I see you coming out

of the theatre behind the bank.

I know what you're up to, gentlemen.

So what's on your mind, Frank?

Indigenous currency retrieval

and exchange.

Once a month,

a truck goes to all our partner banks

across the border to Canada,

takes up all the currency

and brings it back home.

Let's say, on average,

eight to twelve million

held in our vault for a short time

before it's picked up

for redistribution.

Only a bunch of fools

would rob that bank any other time.

I could give you the dates.

I could help you with the alarms,

I could be your guy on the inside.

Um... hypothetically,

let's just say you were right

about what we were doing,

which you're not, of course,

um... why would you help us

rob your own bank?

- Got my reasons.

- This sounds like a set-up, man.

I don't f*** around, kid.

Like I said, I got my reasons.

Well, you'll just

have to forgive us, Frank.

We have to hear 'em.

Wife got sick a few years ago.

Insurance wouldn't pick up

all the cost so I went to the bank.

They wouldn't help

cover the difference.

We were going to retire to France.

The Loire valley.

We had to use all of our savings

to cover the bills.

Spent everything we had.

Then she died.

I been 30 years at that place.

I'm sorry.

November 23rd.

The money's dropped off at eight

and picked up at midnight.

(SIGHS) I retire in two weeks.

This is it.

You set up that table,

I'll make sure dinner arrives hot.

Look,

why should I be ashamed to say it?

Oh. Why should...

Why should I be ashamed to say it?

I love him. I love him.

My love is like a stone round my neck

and it's dragging me down

to the bottom.

But... I love my stone.

I... I can't live without it.

For God's sake,

the man has robbed you!

Oh, no, no, no. Don't say that!

He's a scoundrel.

Everybody sees it but you.

A petty scoundrel. A user.

And you are what? 26 or what?

Ah, please, please,

please, please, stop.

No. Look. (GROANS)

Djula, I can hear you

because you're acting very loudly.

But I can't feel you.

(SNIFFS)

Can I ask you a question?

- It is very personal.

- Mm-hm.

Have you ever been in love?

- Of course.

- Huh. Liar.

F*** you, Darek!

Then show us!

Show us what love is all about.

How it rips you apart

and then puts you together.

It carries you to the heavens

and then smashes you to the ground.

Now, if you want

to become a great actress,

then you

have to reveal something, Djula.

What are you so afraid of, huh?

Maybe you want to die

old, alone, unemployed.

Is that what you want, hm?

Djula!

Oh, that's right, Djula.

Run, Buffalotto. Run.

You're very good at that.

Five minutes, people.

Five minutes, everyone.

(SOBS)

- (KNOCKING)

- What?

- Are you OK?

- (WHIMPERS)

I... hate him.

I'm a good actress.

I am a damn good actress.

What, I have to love someone

to be a great actress? Horse sh*t.

I've heard it my whole goddamn life.

- What?

- That I'm cold.

No, you're not.

Ice cold.

Arctic cold.

What?

What?

I can't do it.

- You can't do what?

- I can't leave her, Max.

Leave who? Do what?

- I can't do this.

- Henry.

Henry, listen.

You forced me out of jail to help you

and I'm gonna goddamn help you.

See, I got through my whole life with

my mouth, you know, bullshitting.

I've been nothing

but a f***ing coward.

But now I am going to do something.

So here's the deal, Henry.

We're gonna dig this tunnel.

Then we're gonna rob the bank

and we're gonna take the money,

we're gonna put it in a car

and then we are going to drive away.

Do you understand, Henry?

Yeah.

Yeah.

(SIMON) Henry to the stage, please.

Henry to the stage.

Lopakhin to the stage.

(LAUGHTER ON TELEVISION)

I'll be right out.

Take a chance on life.

Take a chance on (SINGS) Buffalotto.

Oh, I hate this commercial.

- I like it.

- Why?

You're in it.

Come on. I'm starving. Let's go.

We have to do it opening night.

- What?

- It's the only time we can get in.

- But that's in two days.

- Yeah.

So you're leaving?

Yeah.

Wow.

Oh, wow.

F***.

F***, Henry.

- I was thinking we could meet.

- What?

I was thinking California.

You were thinking

we could meet in California?

Yeah.

You know what?

You really are a thief, Henry.

I mean, California?

Why would I go anywhere with you?

You can't cross a f***ing street.

You wreck my play,

you make me an accessory to a crime.

I should call the cops

and you should go to hell.

- I didn't know it would be this way.

- Henry, you're a bank robber.

You're a bank robber. Henry.

You're a bank robber.

Th... I mean,

you knew that you had to leave?

- No.

- That's exactly what you wanted.

- So that we could be together.

- Don't touch me! Don't touch me!

You know what?

We screwed a couple of times.

Right? So what?

- It was more than that.

- No, really, just a couple of times.

We both knew

this would never work out, right?

- I didn't.

- I did.

Go rob your bank.

Go!

(DOOR CLOSES)

(SCREAMS)

You're a good man, Henry.

Yeah, Max.

Enjoy the show.

Enjoy the show.

Tonight, my dear players,

we can show our audience

that the future is something

we really need to fear.

And to recognise that

knowledge itself is never more real

than in the beauty

of our imagination.

No, no, no.

Shh, shh, shh.

As we say in my home country,

go out there and break some d*cks.

Off the cushion in the corner,

double into the centre pocket.

- (LAUGHTER)

- Ten minutes, people, ten minutes.

(MUSIC BEGINS)

Curtain.

- (TRAIN WHISTLE)

- Thank God the train is in.

- What time is it?

- Almost two.

It's light already.

- How you doin', Frank?

- Doing good, Bernie.

(Real good.)

(LAUGHTER AND GREETINGS)

(GASPS) Oh, my, the nursery!

Oh, my dear, sweet,

beautiful nursery.

I used to sleep here

as a little girl.

Your train was two hours late.

How do you explain that?

Is that good management?

I'm still like a little girl.

(BEEPING)

You ever think what you could do

with all that money, Frank?

I know what you'd do.

You'd buy the Bills

and put them in first place.

- It'd take more money than that.

- (LAUGHS)

Hey, get in there, get in there.

I guarantee it, I'd get 'em back into

the Super Bowl within two seasons.

Perfect. Another chance to lose.

Oh, my childhood,

my innocent childhood.

I used to sleep in this nursery.

I looked out from here

into the garden

and I woke up happy every morning.

Oh, my cherry orchard.

(DOOR SLAMS)

Well, this is it, Frank.

We got you something.

A little er... retirement gift.

- Oh, thank you, guys.

- We wanted it to be from France.

Where is he?

Where is that old geezer?

It stinks in here.

- Oh, break a leg.

- The play's already started, Max.

Oh, right. Oh, Julie. Goodbye.

Goodbye, confidence man.

Go. Go! Go!

Nice of you to join us, old man.

Just do your goddamn job.

What? What now?

Oh, no. No, no, not again.

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