Honey I Blew Up the Kid

Good morning, folks. How you doing?

- Morning, Ozzie.

Morning, Ozzie.

I hear he's some kind of inventor.

Nick, breakfast.

Nick.

- I'm coming.

Your hands are getting bigger now

Your arms and legs are longer now

You even sense your insides

grow when Mom and Dad...

Wayne.

- Yeah, honey?

Where's the baby?

- He's in the playpen.

He gets out of the playpen.

- No, I fixed it.

Sweetheart, I hate to remind you, but

the last time you fixed the playpen...

...he still got out of it.

Well, he won't get out this time.

Hiya.

Will you, big buddy, huh?

I'm certainly capable of fixing

a playpen, aren't I?

You're just a little baby, after all.

- Your hat?

It's my helmet.

- New one?

Yeah, it's a new one.

See, it shaves me.

See that?

There.

Amy, it's decided.

I'm going with you. Period.

Mom, in the first place, I'm not

the first girl who has ever gone...

...away to college.

And in the second place, we're...

- Mom.

Excuse me.

Amy, I'm gonna help you

get settled in. That's it.

Want a noise? Noise?

- Yeah, yeah, I want to hear a noise.

This one?

- Yeah. Now, this time...

This one.

Okay.

Hear it?

- Yep, I heard it.

More?

Sure.

Mom, let's say you were a girl.

- I think I can visualize it.

Would you think I was a nerd?

Just by looking at me, I mean.

It's a rhetorical question, Mom.

It doesn't require an answer.

Am I any girl in particular?

- No.

Just a girl I might, I don't know,

ask to go to the movies or something.

Nicky, you are turning into

a very handsome young man.

You're gonna be just like your dad.

- Honey...

...can you help me adjust

this servo regulator?

Now, if you and Nicky want to get out

by yourselves while I'm gone...

...the baby-sitter's number's in the kitchen.

What's with him?

- I think there's a girl.

Nick? Our Nick?

You know, he's growing up,

in case you haven't noticed.

Uh-oh.

I'll fix it.

- I'll fix you, you little punk.

Nick, stop.

Adam, no.

- Sorry, Mama.

Yes, I should hope so.

Come on.

Oh, man.

- You're getting to be a big boy.

How do you keep getting

out of there, anyway?

I think maybe we should forget

about the playpen idea.

I said I could fix it.

I'm not stupid.

I never said you were stupid.

Taxi's here.

So what's for breakfast?

Anything good?

Mmm, fantastic.

The taxi's gonna

take Mommy to the airport.

And then Mommy's gonna show Amy

her new room at school.

Hopefully they'll tire him out at day care.

So when I get home,

he'll take a late nap.

No nap.

- Honey...

...we don't say the 'n' word

around two-year-olds.

Adam.

Coloured car.

- Okay, now, Adam's lunch...

...is in the freezer...

Adam.

- And I put the baby-sitter's...

...number on the refrigerator.

Is there something I'm forgetting?

I'm sure I'm forgetting some...

Diane, Diane, relax.

Don't you think I can handle

things around here?

Of course you can, honey.

Break it up, guys.

Don't worry, Dad. She'll get there,

realize there's nothing to do...

...turn around,

and come right back.

Bye.

Bye, Nick.

- Come on, Amy. We gotta get going.

Oh. Don't forget to drop Nick and

Adam off on your way to work.

Gosh, the time. I got to get you

to work. I got a big test today.

Bye.

- Bye-bye, Mama.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

You can do it.

Atta girl.

Szalinski test number 1277.

Crystal Group 5.

Shouldn't we wait for Szalinski?

Maybe this will teach him

to be here on time.

Szalinski isn't running the show.

I am.

This better work this time,

so concentrate.

Ten seconds.

Nine, eight, seven, six, five...

...four, three, two, one, zero.

Here.

Sorry, everybody. There were some large

cumulonimbus clouds blocking the sun,

and I-I lost power.

And my son got a job for the summer...

Wet and Wild. I had to drop him off.

What's that stuff on your face?

Oh, excuse me, Dr Hendrickson?

- I'm sick and tired of this.

Now, we have had some success

replicating Szalinski's experiments...

...shrinking matter.

But reversing the process,

enlarging matter...

...has seen us run up

one blind alley after another.

Clifford Sterling demands results.

His board of directors demands results,

the United States government...

...demands results...

...and as project director, I...

- Excuse me, Dr Hendrickson.

I beg your pardon, Wayne.

As project co-director,

I intend to deliver results.

L-I've been doing some work on my own

on the problem, sir.

Yes, Wayne.

I think you'll find

if you look at these calculations...

Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne.

When you licensed your device

to Sterling Labs, you were promised...

...that the finest minds in the country

would be working on it, and they are.

I know that, sir.

- Good, good.

But I-I think if you look at these

notes, you'll find that although...

Mandy?

- Yeah, Rick?

Nick.

- Nick.

Hey, Nick, your dad's here

in his spaceship. The Dweezil Wheels.

Hey, Nicky.

Want a ride?

Hey, look. It's the Nerdmobile.

- Hey, look at that.

Oh, man.

- Have a nice flight.

Thanks a lot, Dad.

- For what?

Nothing.

Dad, were you ever popular in school?

- You bet.

I was president of the astronomy club

two years in a row.

We were happenin' guys.

So Mom tells me that there's some girl?

What?

No. No, I was...

I was just wondering.

How was your flight?

Uh-huh. N-No, fine.

No, we just got home.

We're fixing dinner now.

What noise? Uh, it was just

a bad connection, that's all.

The baby?

Well, h-he's fine.

He's in the playpen.

No, I fixed it. He can't get out.

Ice cream.

- How's Amy's dorm?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Hey, stop it.

Nothing. Just the dog. Uh-huh.

No, everything's fine.

Boy, you worry too much.

What? The chicken?

Well, the chicken you left us

really looks fine, honey.

So I was thinking,

with Mom and Amy out of town...

...that this would give us guys

a chance to, uh, talk about, uh...

...you know, the birds and the bees.

Here, Nicky.

You know what I was thinking,

Big Bunny? What?

I was thinking we got to be nice to

our brother Nick. You know why? No, why?

Well, because he moved away to

a new place now, and he's got to make...

...all new friends, just like me and you.

Yeah?

- Yeah.

Shall we sing a song now?

- Yeah.

What song shall we sing?

- 'ABCs.'

How about 'Twinkle, Twinkle'?

- 'ABC.'

'ABC'?

- Yeah.

Twinkle, twinkle...

- 'ABCs'.

Let's sing 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.'

'ABCs.'

'ABCs'? Okay, first 'ABCs.'

A-B-C-D-E-F-G, H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P

Now 'Twinkle, Twinkle,' okay?

Okay.

Twinkle, twinkle little star

How I won...

What you are...

...lt'll be a hell of a thing

for you, Charles, if it works.

It'll work.

I'll make it work.

Over the years, I've seen

Clifford Sterling attach himself...

...to one crazy idea after another.

I have to tell you,

the board of directors is very worried.

If you'll pardon me a moment.

Hendrickson.

Hello?

What was that?

- It was a balloon popping,

Dr Hendrickson.

I got the idea while singing my kid to sleep.

You see, if you hit a balloon

with too much force...

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