House Party: Tonight's the Night Page #3

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got Ashton Kutcher?

Or how Susan Sarandon,

with her big ole titties...

...how you think she got Tim Robbins?

Because them sisters know what's up.

And you know what's up?

The slightly older...

...but still damn sexy woman.

Hello! Ha!

Ooh, girl, look.

I think somebody's having a little party.

And I sure hope he invites me

because I wanna provide that young man...

...with some MILF and cookies.

Move that?

- Yeah, just, uh, put it in my room.

- Mm-hm.

- Yeah.

- Yep.

- Bootytime's here.

- Good, he's early.

Whoo! Yo, Chris, you got any Hot Pockets

up in the fridge, man?

I'm hungry. Gotta get ready...

Oh, sh*t.

- Come on.

- Hey, yo, Chris, don't even trip, man.

You already know DJ Bootytime...

...brought enough super glue

and duct tape...

...to fix any problem that comes up.

It's called preparation, man.

Come on, you already know this.

Yeah, let me move this right quick.

Goddamn, this thing is heavy.

- Like this.

- Oh, hell, no!

- What y'all talking about? Oh, sh*t.

Ugh.

Hey, man, don't even trip, bro.

- Chris, I got some Clorox sheets

in the trunk. - Clorox sheets!

Bro, it'll scrub out any scratches

that happens on this floor.

Pops ain't even gonna notice.

Keep your chin up.

You know DJ Bootytime got you.

Deal! We're gonna have

some fine ladies up in here.

And they gonna be

all over DJ Bootytime...

...like I can't believe it ain't butter.

Why? - Because it DJ Bootytime!

Spread it out,

let it melt down your chin, b*tches!

- Whoo!

- Does this guy really get laid?

What you mean, I get laid?

They call me Frito,

that's how much I get laid so much.

They couldn't keep their hands

off me in the front yard.

Your neighbors was on me, man.

Pfft! Scratch it up tonight.

Underclassmen.

You don't really think

you're getting in, do you?

We brought you some high-end booze,

you know, for the house.

Yo, ho, ho

And three bottles of rum

Come on in if you're coming.

Go, go, go. Up top, man.

Got a drink in my hand

But don't spill it

With a chick on my arm

That's what I'm dealin' with

When I rush the boss

He wants to answer the party

They put me in charge

so I'm-a kill it

Got a drink in my hand

But don't spill it

With a chick on my arm

That's what I'm

There she is.

Get on in here with your bad self.

Pfft. Get in there!

Hey

We turn up till the night's gone

Grab a cup

Until we break dawn

Goin' hard till we fall

Then we do, do, do it again

House party

Tell her bring friends

Hey, no, no, no. Yo, yo, yo.

Will you relax? It's all chill.

That scratch Bootytime

put in the floor is not all chill.

We already started

the night off on a deficit.

- Is Autumn here?

- Not yet.

But she best be bringing Morgan

because she be looking fine as hell.

- Doobster!

- Doobie.

Slow down. No! Food poisoning?

Listen to me, you get

your ass off that toilet...

...and get over here

with Keniston Scott!

Doobie, don't...

- He hung up.

- What's the crisis?

He ate some bad sushi or something.

- He's out.

- I knew it. Doobie's full of sh*t.

- Literally.

So the record exec is out.

So this was all for nothing?

No, Keniston Scott's

coming without Doobie.

Yeah, okay.

I'll believe that when I see it.

And even if he does come,

we don't even know what he looks like.

Doobie's not picking up.

Keniston could be here now

and we won't even know it.

No, I'll just look

for the old guy in a suit.

Believe me,

I can sniff out a record executive.

We need to make a name for ourselves.

Yeah. And how do we do that?

I mean, we are who we are, right?

No, look at that guy from that sitcom,

the one who acted all whacky.

Then he did some crazy interviews,

and suddenly he's the rock star from Mars.

Yeah. And he rose again,

all new and powerful, like the Phoenix.

Like freaking caw-caw, caw-caw.

That's what we need to do.

- Yeah.

To our time!

- Our time.

Now, that guy is weird.

Way weird.

Do, do, do it

Do, do, do it again

Yo, what's up, man?

You see I'm in my zone!

Yo, get my track cued up

and ready to pop in a snap.

I'm gonna need two hot mics

for me and Chris.

That guy from Kickpower

Records still coming?

Yep. Me and Chris

gonna blow sh*t up.

For sure.

Hey, I can remix your sh*t too.

You know, put my freak in it, cut it up!

Go easy. Don't remix too much

so people can't recognize it.

I got you, let's go, do this.

Pop, pop, pop, pop

Let it drop, drop, drop

If you got paid

And feel famous

You sippin' on something

Outrageous

Then pop

Uh-oh. Who are you getting

all Beyonce'd up for?

Heh. That Dylan looking good lately.

Heh, Dylan.

So, what's up with you and Chris?

He's cute. Nice guy.

Yeah.

- Ever get the feeling that

Quentin is kind of...? - An a**hole?

- Yeah.

- All the time.

Bounce that ass

Bounce that ass

she on that tworky sh*t

Twork, twork, twork

she did a headstand

Twork, twork, twork

I threw a couple bands

Welcome to mi casa.

Told you I'd be here.

So, uh, you figured out

the directions and everything, right?

- I'm here, right?

- True.

Um, how was traffic?

Why don't you fix us a drink?

That's a great idea. I got you.

What's up, baby?

Mm. You're looking exceptional.

Just trying to represent, you know.

- You representing and presenting.

- You know it.

- Mm. Get over here, come on.

- Ha, ha.

Down, boy. The night is young.

Just put a little rum in there.

No, that's gross.

All right, let's see, let's see.

- Uh, a little vodka, okay.

- Mm-hm.

A little rum.

- Triple sec.

- All right.

Little more vodka.

How about a splash of orange juice?

That's quite a drink.

What, you wanna split it?

- Yeah, sure.

- All right. Here you go.

Mm, here you go.

Thank you.

And how about to, uh, endless possibilities

and, uh, no more high school.

Endless possibilities.

I like that.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

I like your earrings.

They're, uh, very unusual.

Thank you.

I take different pieces from random things

and put them together to make something new.

- You know.

- That's real hot.

- Thanks.

- Creative.

I have this idea to start

like a nonprofit clothing line.

Get some duds on the poor.

- Wow.

- Something like that.

- Sounds amazing.

- Thanks.

Uh, so, what're you planning

on doing after graduation?

- UC Santa Barbara.

- Oh.

- Yeah.

- Okay.

Um, I wanna study fashion...

...but my dad wants me to have

like a fall-back real degree.

Oh, see, that's my pop's thing too.

- I do music, I rap here and there.

- I've heard you rap, Chris.

The whole school has.

You guys are dope.

Ah, we're not...

We do a little something, something.

- Aw.

- A lot of folks can.

Don't minimize it. Own it.

The truth is, I like to do both.

Rap and school.

Yo, uh, this party isn't

as whack as I thought.

I heard on, uh, Black Planet

there was supposed to be a donkey.

Chris, um, you know Quentin.

What's up? How you doing?

- And look what you got.

You know I ain't all flossy like that.

Baby, it's not about being flossy.

It's about letting everybody know

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