House Party: Tonight's the Night Page #4

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that you're my number one girl.

- Number one girl.

What up, Q?

I see a couple of my cats over there.

It's a bird! It's a plane.

No, no, no, it's a Q! Ha-ha-ha.

Excuse me.

Mm. I hate that guy.

Let me dream, set me free

Take me away

You can tie me down, throw me 'round

Have it your way

Curtis and skippy

Flirtin' with hippies

At the house party

smokin' blunt full spiffy

Light it up, smoke it up

And let's get trippy

Let's go insane

No pain, no gain

Three dime pieces. Tens ahead.

Hey, how about over there?

Three nickels. Fives at best.

You know what they say...

...one man's Khloe is another man's Kim.

Nobody actually says that.

- No?

- No.

Yes, sir, we'll take those nickels,

thank you very much.

Huh?

Three nickels is 15.

It's five more than a 10.

- Oh, I like that.

- Yeah.

Hold on now.

- Lions...

- ... tigers...

...and bears.

Oh, my.

Neighborhood watch

There's a party round the block

Tell the crew we got to get there

Before we call cops

Hey, hey, don't go upstairs. Hey.

Oh. Mrs. Meyer.

Oh, come on. Hello, Christopher.

We're both adults now.

You can call me Kee Kee.

Oh, okay. Uh...

Well, you gonna invite us in or what?

Um...

Come on, Christopher,

I know you're throwing a party...

...and I ain't here to bust you, baby.

Uh-uh. I'm here just to have a little fun.

Right. Heh.

Come on in.

The drinks are in the kitchen.

You help yourself.

Oh, I always do.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Watch your step.

Wait for me.

Now don't be blocking

my action tonight.

Yo, yo, King Louis.

Purple Kush?

Hey. Hey.

Yo, yo, yo. Hey, hey, hey.

- No.

- Hey, whoa, whoa.

- Excuse me, man.

- You're excused.

This liquor's off-limits.

Damn.

Yo, dog. Dog. Dog.

There is a real live gnome outside.

What? Yo, who are all

these people in my house?

- I guess word got out.

- Because you put it out.

This is not what we talked about.

You were supposed to keep it under control.

There's gotta be people here...

...so Keniston Scott could see

how we get them hopping.

- You want him to see us rapping

to crickets? - Okay. Right. Right.

At least get crowd control or something.

- Get somebody at the door.

- Already on it.

Got my boy Pete

guarding the golden entrance.

We all good.

Ain't you a little old for this party?

I've got business here.

Well, get your ass in there.

Take care of business.

Call ya

Can you hear me call ya

Can you hear me call ya

Can you hear me call ya

I thought you supposed

to be watching the door.

I am.

You see any music executive

types come through?

- You know, a mover-shaker type?

- Nah.

Wait, actually...

Nope.

Lookin' so fine

In the club

Everybody showin' me love

fly in the club

Everybody love

On top like the pop

since noon

I keep goin' out

Like a house of balloons

I swear, I'm a groom

Hip to a loon

Hey!

I sweep her off her feet

Now she call me Mr. Broom

Ha, see, first they said

I wouldn't make it

same people come around

And don't say sh*t

Uh, Chris, what's wrong?

Oh, nothing.

You know.

Except for my so-called "guests"...

...are lighting fire bombs in my backyard...

...and destroying my parents' crib.

Other than that, it's all good.

Heh. So I take it you didn't get

permission to throw this party?

Heh. To be honest with you, hell no.

Chris, I've watched you

bust ass since grade school.

- You realize, you deserve a party, right?

- Maybe.

Not maybe. You do.

Plus, nothing has happened you can't clean,

so just calm down, have some fun.

Okay.

Uh, where's Quentin?

Thought y'all were dancing.

We were, but, uh, he vanished, as usual.

Or he read the invite and left.

Because it specifically said,

"Everybody's welcome...

...except serial killers,

the walking dead...

...and conceited jocks

who don't know a great thing...

...when they have it. "

Well, hello, Mr. Chris.

How's it hanging, baby?

Half-mast?

Or full staff?

Mrs. Meyer.

How about you meet

my friend Autumn?

Hey.

Why don't you and I

go hit that dance floor...

...and get all hot and sweaty together?

Uh, you mind if I take

a rain check on that one?

A rain check?

That's cute. A rain check.

Rain check. Mm-hm.

Okay. I'll see you a little later.

Hmm. Ahem.

Excuse me. Excuse me, baby.

- It's getting a little tight.

- It is a little tight.

It's a little tight up in here. Okay?

That kind of tight.

All right, Mrs. Meyer.

That's the next door neighbor.

Uh, apparently she's recently single.

Uh, apparently

she wants to jump your bones.

- Really? You think so?

- Yeah.

Maybe just a little.

Wow.

Wanna check out

my graduation present?

- Sure, yeah.

- Come on.

I get the keys when they get back tomorrow.

Not bad, huh?

Not bad?

This car is the bomb dot com.

So are you.

- Come here.

Me?

Oh, really?

You know I'm just playing, right?

Hell, yeah. Ha, ha.

No, I didn't really know that.

So when she finally stopped screaming...

...I said to her,

"I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

seems to me

I'm Mr. Man on the block

Get low, get low

Let's go, let's go

Dojo

Get low, get low

Let's go, let's go

Dojo

Get low, get low

Let's go, let's go

Dojo

Get low, get low

Let's go, let's go

Dojo

Get low, get low

Let's go, let's go

Dojo

Get low, get low

Let's go, let's go

Dojo

Look up, it's a bird

It's a plane

The whole entire town's

Going to hear me when I say

I'm flossy and I'm bossy

I'm flossy and I'm bossy

I'm flossy and I'm bossy

Okay

Tryin' to get a stack, baby

Call me green thumb

Make, make, make it hot

Make, make it hot like

Girl, this is our jam!

Ooh. Would you excuse me

for one second?

- Do your thing.

- Okay.

All my girls get behind me.

Girls over here, boys over there.

Come on, let's go. Back up, girls.

Make it hot like

Make it hot

Make it hot like

Make it hot

Make it hot

Make it hot like

It's your chance, baby

Let me see you dance, baby

Let me see what you got

I'm-a put you on the spot

Better, better make it hot

Make it hot like

It's your chance, baby

Let me see you dance, baby

Let me see what you got

I'm-a put you on the spot

Better, better make it hot

Make it hot like

- That's the best y'all got?

- You got something better?

- Yo, let's do it!

- Back 'em up!

Back 'em up!

Make it hot

Make it hot like

What the f***?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Those girls are hot.

Oh, hell to the no.

Them skinny b*tches?

Sh*t. They ain't no what they doing.

Yo, what's with you

hijacking my jam, son?

You done just stepped into some sh*t.

Yo, what do you think

I came down here for?

To watch these peeps get bored to death

with your bullshit old school?

I took it because you didn't

know what to do with it.

Look, man, you don't ever, ever,

ever, ever mix with a man's mix, boy.

Are you crazy?

What's wrong with you?

Hey, yo, yo, yo. Tyson, Tyson. Holyfield.

Yo. You're tripping,

go back to your corners, man.

Hardcap.

I remember back in the day

when we did some real dancing.

You know, we did stuff like this,

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