House Party: Tonight's the Night Page #7

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but that was freakish.

I mean, you saw her in that casket...

...just still slowly rocking

back and forth on that hump.

That was scary.

Kids were screaming,

"Close the casket!"

They couldn't close the casket.

She had a big old hump.

Yo, move away from the light.

Stay away from the light.

You okay, Rocky?

More like Apollo Creed.

- Yo, what'd he hit me with? A pipe?

- That'd be his fist, bro.

He way too big for you. Come on.

Maybe it wasn't the smartest thing,

taking on a monster.

Letting you talk me

into this party wasn't either.

Oh, so now it's my fault

you got knocked the hell out?

Look at my crib, bro.

Look at it.

Sh*t's broken!

The good booze is gone.

The floor is destroyed.

Now there's a hole in my ceiling...

...and the toilet's

sitting in the living room!

You did me wrong, partner.

Hold up.

We made this decision together.

No. You made this decision

and guilted me into going along.

Guilted you?

Don't... Don't you see? The second you're

done with tonight you're done with me.

Come on, that's bullshit.

You don't think I know

why you went along with all this?

You feel sorry for me, don't you?

Damn.

It's true.

So let's just call this

what it really was then.

A going-away present from a college-bound

winner to a neighborhood loser.

I even heard your father say it,

and you didn't say sh*t about it.

I do what I always do

when it comes to you, Dylan.

I suck it up because you're

my best friend, Dylan.

But, damn, best friend

only gets you so far, man.

- Truth is, you're just selfish, dude.

- You know what? You're just scared.

I'm scared?

Think you might not

make it as a rapper...

...so you act like you don't want it,

but that's punk ass sh*t.

What else do you want, man?

I got new responsibilities.

Look, one of these days, bro,

you're gonna have to grow up.

Because if you ain't noticed,

we ain't kids no more.

Look, man, look...

- Go, Dylan.

- Yo, whatever, dude.

You were so mean to him.

He's still your best friend, Chris.

I know. I know.

I'm gonna call him later or something.

Okay.

Well, thanks for standing up for me.

That was some crazy ass heroics.

But why'd you do it?

Heh. You know, uh,

I sat behind you in second grade...

...and, uh, ever since then,

I known exactly what I wanted.

Well, why didn't

you ever ask me out?

What if you rejected me?

Oh, my bad, Chris.

What?

That's it! All right.

Everybody, the hell out!

Drive safe.

Did you see what happened?

I guess these old bones

just don't attract anybody no more.

Guess that makes me an old fool.

That is where you're wrong.

- You've been waiting for Chris?

- Heh.

Guess what.

I've been waiting for you.

Through all those years

of your bad marriage...

...you think I just stuck around

out of friendship?

Let's go back to your place

and talk about it.

Kee Kee, baby.

Tracey!

Oh, I feel so alive.

Let's go. Let's go.

Damn.

Best house party ever.

Chill out.

- Everybody.

- Thanks.

All right, man. Yeah.

Drive safe.

Especially you.

I would have rode that driver's bald head.

Come on. Whoo!

I love you! I love you!

Wow.

Yo, Chris.

You want us to help you

clean up this sh*t-hole?

We got all our gear packed up,

but we can hang for a while.

Thanks, man, but unless you think...

...you got enough Clorox sheets

and duct tape to fix it...

What you think?

Nah. But you throw another jam,

holler at your boy...

...I'll bring my junior partner,

we'll blow it up for you.

Yo, later, Chris.

Yo, what you mean, "junior partner"?

Where's Morgan?

I think she left with Dylan.

Mind if I stay with you for a little while?

If this is some kind of

suicide watch, don't worry.

I gotta stay alive long enough

for my parents to kill me anyway.

Right.

But, uh, I don't really feel

like being alone.

So, yeah, I'd appreciate it.

Okay.

Baby, sometimes I honestly...

I have a hard time reading you.

Okay, honestly, me and you...

...have you ever faked an orgasm?

No.

Okay, see, that's what I thought.

Because I come from love-making stock.

You know, we Johnsons.

My name is Johnson.

I mean, the name says it all.

My daddy, Richard Johnson.

His uncle was Harry Johnson.

I mean, it's in the family...

My name, Melvin, that's from my ancestry.

I'm a Hausa.

The Hausa language.

"Melvin" in Hausa means "massive. "

Massive Johnson.

For years in college,

I was known as Massive Johnson.

M- A-S-S, I use that as a first name,

"Ive" as my middle name.

I was just Massive Johnson.

We're the original

love-makers of Africa.

People would come around the African camp

to learn how to make love from my people.

Get up, bro.

What are you doing?

Cleaning up the mess I made, man.

I told you already, there's no point.

Oh, yeah?

Don't be so sure about that.

Come on in.

Let's go.

- Let's go. Let's go.

Come on, I got four maids

for the basic cleaning.

Yo, come on, hurry up.

I got a couple plumbers

to install a new toilet...

...and carpenters to fix

that hole in the ceiling.

And lastly, top shelf booze

to fill the cabinet.

Your pops won't even know

it went dry.

Yo, I can't believe this.

But how we gonna pay

for all this, though?

It's all good. I sold my car.

You sold your car?

You was right, bro.

I used you tonight.

And that's messed up.

I'm not even a good rapper.

Don't... Don't talk like that, bro.

Seriously.

I mean, you produced all the tracks,

you hustled the connects.

You don't need me

to make you a success, bro...

...because you make you a success.

You were right about

one other thing too, man.

I am afraid to fail.

I mean, without you, bro, I probably

wouldn't have taken any risk at all.

Maybe we both messed up.

But we threw one

crazy ass party, huh?

Come on.

Great.

Okay, so tell me the truth.

Are you the one who convinced

him to sell his car?

I'll never tell.

What you doing?

I'm just imagining the possibilities.

I see.

Get in the back seat.

- Back...?

- Mm-hm. Yeah.

Is that your phone?

Uh, don't stop. Don't worry.

There you go, baby, here are the keys.

Oh, I just wanna curl up

in my bed and sleep.

Yeah, me too. After we... Heh.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, uh-huh,

we'll see about all that.

Oh, yeah, we will see.

You can talk all you want to,

but you are a woman in trouble.

You don't know what's gonna

happen up in the bedroom.

Uh-huh. Promises, promises.

You can scream all you want,

but I cannot hear you.

Call 911 now.

- Aah! Baby.

- It was the neighbor.

You are so naughty.

Oh, my God.

I don't believe it.

Damn!

It's cleaner than we left it.

Oh, that's my boy, baby.

My boy did this.

Not your boy, that's my boy.

- I'm gonna check upstairs.

- Oh, you do that.

Huh. Yeah.

Come on.

Chris.

Oh, um, uh...

Hi, Mr. Johnson.

Uh, Pops, uh...

Oh, sh*t. I'm sorry.

What did I tell you

about having girls in the house?

You're lucky it was me

and not your mother.

I know.

You Dylan?

Yeah, that's me.

Can I help you?

I'm Keniston Scott

from Kickpower Records.

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