I'll Be There Page #3

- Minor chords give you a sad, moody feel.

It's all about how

you look at it.

- And dis-chords...

Give you an unsettled, strange feel.

Not that anybody around here

needs that, eh? Eh?

All right, look,

I'll play you somethin'.

But I have to warn you,

guitar is really my thing.

Piano is for girlies.

A lot of people get very uncomfortable

around psychiatric patients.

- Perhaps you'd like to wait.

- No, no, I'm fine. Really. I want to see him.

We've had a long talk about it.

It's what she wants.

Well, maybe it's a good idea,

a shock to the system.

Better it happens in here

than on the outside...

where he can hurt himself

or run into a bar.

But I'm warning you,

he's very depressed.

Don't expect much.

- Yeah!

Okay, what?

What is it?

Who are you, some kind of born-again

Christian, talk-you-out-of-suicide squad?

Because, I tell you,

I am not suicidal.

It was a simple accident involving

a bottle of whisky and a motorbike.

It could have happened to anyone.

See? I wouldn't want you growing up

around that kind of behaviour.

Growing up around what kind

of behaviour? What are you talkin' about?

What's goin' on?

Harpoon Louie's, Cardiff, 1987.

Oh, my God. Rebecca.

Oh. He remembered your name.

'Course I remembered her name.

I dedicated a whole album to you.

Lost Woman.

It's got a picture...

of a tiny, wee lost woman

on the front cover.

I didn't buy that one.

- Why not?

- I went off him.

I was never into him.

I liked the Pet Shop Boys.

This is fantastic!

- And-And you've got family!

- Yes and no.

No. This is about me.

Could we have a moment, please?

Yes.

What?

That man, Gordano...

he's not my dad.

You are.

- What?

- You're my father.

That night you spent

with my mum in 1987...

I'm the result.

Oh, uh... No.

Yes.

No, no... No way.

- Yes way.

- Oh, Jesus.

No, his mother

had a better excuse.

What...

Oh, wow.

That's roughly what I said.

Must be alike then.

Look, I'm sorry.

L- I don't really know what to say.

Do you, um, got any other kids?

Uh, no.

- You?

- I'm 16.

Oh, God, I can't take this.

I should be inside.

- I'm going in.

- Hey, you promised not to interfere.

- She's my kid.

- Yeah, she's his too.

Oh, God, this is so Greek.

So, uh, what are you up to? School?

Yeah. I'm gettin' ready to leave.

What about a dad?

Do you... I mean, that guy...

is he like your dad?

No. He's Mum's business partner.

He's gay.

I was gonna say...

Where's Paul Kerr?

Who are you, his sister?

His long-lost cousin?

I'm Dorise LeFanu.

His wife.

Forget Greek.

This is Jerry Springer.

Mum wants me to go

into the family business.

What's the family business?

Hairdressing.

Why did you try to kill yourself?

I didn't.

It was an accident.

Just nobody in here believes me.

They've sectioned me.

Darling! Ohh!

Oh, I'm sorry I took so long.

Did they hurt you?

Are you all right?

Don't worry, Mr Kerr.

We'll have you out of here in a jiffy.

- Mary?

- Oh!

It's his pet name for me.

Don't speak, my love. Wifey is here now.

I will look after you.

It'll be okay.

I'm having a very strange day.

Impersonating a loony's wife

to help spring him from hospital.

- Yes, I suspect that's highly illegal.

- Oh!

So we could have you arrested

for not arresting us.

- Don't start.

- Nobody will ever know.

- Why did you do this?

- What's that, then?

You know.

Dress up with the...

and everything to get me

out of the hospital.

You are valued as

part of our community.

- Yeah, right.

- So don't go killing yourself again.

- Mmm! Apart from anything else, it's against the law.

- It's illegal, see?

No, I won't.

Too many interesting

things happenin'.

Maybe later.

Give me another whisky.

What the hell is going on?

Shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush.

You'll wake Vince.

If he doesn't get his nap,

he goes mental.

Never mind about that.

You can't light a fire in my driveway!

Well, you can't eat raw chicken.

It's only a little fire.

I'll make sure they clean it up.

I thought you were off playing

a gig in Uttoxeter tonight.

It was cancelled.

They put in a new karaoke machine.

Humph.

How did it feel...

meeting your dad

for the first time?

I didn't really feel anything.

No real connection.

I don't suppose we've got

a lot in common.

- Music.

- We didn't talk about music.

I was in there for five minutes.

You don't have to talk.

If you want to know what

a musician's about, listen to him play.

If you want to know

about your dad...

listen to his music.

What if I want him

to know about me?

- Piss off!

Morning.

Oh, f***!

I'm warnin' you,

if you're a Jehovah's Witness...

He's about to witness

your ass gettin' kicked.

G'day, mate.

Well, you look great.

Bloody hell!

Digger McQuade!

I thought you were dead.

Can I ask you a question?

All right.

What was it like,

that night with my father?

We met after the show.

We were both so young.

It was before he got

really, really famous...

and got into drugs

and everything.

What'd you talk about?

Music mostly.

I remember he was impressed

when I said I liked The Four Tops.

Most people my age back then

were into Kajagoogoo.

So you just went back to his hotel and...

No, I'm telling you, it wasn't like that.

I wasn't like that.

We snuck out away from all

the other band members and roadies.

Went to Jack Williams'

fish and chip shop.

God, it's not

even there any more.

Eventually, after we watched

the sun coming up...

we went back to his hotel

and had breakfast.

And that's when it happened?

Yes.

- It was just a one-night stand?

- Well...

No, um, he had a few days off.

So we holed up in his hotel

and ordered room service for 48 hours.

I told your gran I'd gone to London

to apply for college.

Mum, you tramp!

Don't get any ideas.

It was a stupid thing to do.

Do you still love him?

Don't be ridiculous. Can't love someone

unless you know them.

We were just kids.

It seems like a million years ago...

- like it happened to someone else,

not me. - That sounds like a cop-out.

Hey, I didn't cop out.

He did.

That's the type of person he is.

I didn't say

you weren't angry at him.

I said you still loved him.

You're a romantic, Olivia.

You'll have to lose that

if you want to survive.

Well, after the band split up, I did

some session work, but it got boring.

And it wasn't like I needed the money

after the Lost Woman album.

Come on. Have some more.

Go on.

Are you done?

Funny looking what's-it.

Friendly, though.

- It's a llama.

- What's his name?

Dolly.

Dolly Llama.

It's a prestige item.

Michael Jackson's got loads of'em.

Looks like a gay sheep.

Why Loch Ness?

I like it. It's quiet.

You don't like quiet.

You're a drummer.

You like big, noisy stages,

shrill women and loud pubs.

You're Australian, for God's sake.

All of that is true, mate, but I got

a bit tired of it. You know what I mean?

Being a rock star is all right

for a man in his 20s and 30s...

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