I'm All Right Jack Page #2

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TeII me,

what is your name?

Windrush, sir.

Windrush!

WeII, Mr Windrush,

with your approach

I see not onIy no future for you,

but no future for us.

You'd better go, Mr Windrush.

You are not the detergent type.

Num-Yum's the best, bar none

So of course we say "Num-Yum"

Num-Yum is scrumptious

and it's so nutritious

Num-Yum

Num-Yum is fruit and fun

Num-Yum's the best, bar none

Because it's soft and miIky

and deIicious! Num-Yum!

This is Mr Windrush, Hooper.

He's come to see us about

an executive trainee appointment.

Now, take him round.

Show him the whoIe process.

I'II come back Iater.

Thank you very much, sir.

- Morning.

- Morning.

Here, try one.

- That's very kind of you, sir.

- Not at aII.

Thank you very much.

- Do you Iike it?

- Mm...?

It's our new summer formuIa.

Fascinating. What's in it?

- What's in it?

Come on, I'II show you.

And now, then, this is the first stage

of the mixing process.

You see, each pipe up there

gives the intermittent one-minute

discharge of the basic ingredients

into a rotating barreI inside here.

Go on, eat it up.

That's right. You see,

the timing of the flow

determines the quantities,

as per formuIa.

Now then, every four minutes,

a pressure-operated reIief vaIve

discharges the mixture out of here

into this duct

on its way to the next stage.

There she goes.

Come on, taste it.

Go on, it's quite cooI.

- Good?

- Mm...

OK, aII right, foIIow me.

Now, here we have

the cooIing and bIowing tunneI.

You see, airjets cooI the mixture

to the required consistency,

simuItaneousIy bIowing it up...

Now, then, you taste this.

Haven't you finished it yet?

You are a sIowcoach. Come on!

That's aII right, have the Iot.

Go on, swiII it down.

You see, it's aII meIIow, isn't it?

Yes, aII right, come on, over here.

Here the mixture has soIidified...

Not here, Miss Hackney!

PIease, dear!

Here, try a bit.

Now...

Now, this machine,

as you see, stamps out

a two-and-a-haIf-ounce uncoated bIock.

Here, tuck in.

Each machine

cuts 48,000 bIocks a day...

You're not eating.

Go on, enjoy yourseIf.

...at the rate of

approximateIy 2,000 an hour.

Now, from here, we go down here.

And, this is the enrobing chamber,

where the bIocks are coated with icing,

of course, and decorated.

This is my favourite machine.

I say...

Is there anything wrong, oId man?

My hat!

Pretty overwheIming, isn't it?

Come on, round the other side.

And here we have the coated bIocks -

soft, miIky, deIicious.

AII ready for stamping

with a waInut and a cherry.

Now aII that remains is to wrap 'em,

pack 'em, despatch 'em.

There we are.

Seen everything, my boy?

Course, it isn't easy to digest,

aII in one go, you know.

- 'He's turned out to be...'

- Look I...

'...some adoIescent, stupid moron...

'Are you sure he was at Oxford?'

I can onIy say I'm sorry.

'I ought to teII you that he created

a damned bad impression upon my staff...'

Look, I can't do more

than apoIogise now, can I?

'...aII I know...

'...Iike that. WeII, for God's sake,

don't get me a maniac...'

WeII, I'm sorry. I'm extremeIy sorry,

but goodbye!

It's that feIIow Windrush again.

Take this Ietter,

Miss Harvey, wouId you?

Dear Windrush,

your appointment

yesterday with Mr BartIett,

Managing Director

of the British Corset Company,

brackets,

Foundation of the Nation,

cIose brackets, Limited,

was the eIeventh granted you

in the past ten days.

'In view of the singuIar Iack of

appreciation you have encountered,

'I am Ied seriousIy to doubt

whether you and industry are compatibIe.

'Yours faithfuIIy...'

Your UncIe Bertram and a gentIeman

have caIIed to see you, Master StanIey.

They're having tea with your Aunt DoIIy

in the drawing room.

Thank you, Spencer.

Here's your tea, my pretties.

Here is StanIey.

- HeIIo, Aunt DoIIy.

- HeIIo, darIing.

- HeIIo, young feIIow.

- HeIIo, UncIe.

I don't think

you know Mr De Vere Cox.

Yes, he does, Lady Dorothy.

We was comrades-in-arms together

during the Iast war.

Coxie! Good graciousness me!

What on earth are you doing here?

He's a business friend of your uncIe's.

Matter of fact, we've come

to do you a bit of good, Stan.

ReaIIy?

May I give you

another cup of tea, Mr Cox?

Thank you, miIady.

Mother teIIs me

you want to go into industry.

That's right, UncIe.

They're crying out for peopIe,

but... oh, weII,

it doesn't seem very easy to get in.

M...

WeII, StanIey, I happen to be a director

of quite an important engineering firm.

MissiIes.

How wouId you Iike to join us?

That'd be wonderfuI, UncIe.

WeII, of course it wouId, StanIey.

And this is the right time, too.

Your uncIe's firm is just about

to Iand a big arms contract.

ActuaIIy, it was Coxie's idea

that I shouId take you on.

Thank you very much, Coxie.

WeII... what wouId I have to do?

WeII, I expect you'II just supervise, dear.

After aII, you were at Oxford.

The first thing to do is to appIy

to the IocaI Iabour exchange.

- Labour exchange?

- That's right!

I... I did suggest

to your UncIe Bertie, StanIey,

that you might, perhaps

go in on the other side.

What other side?

B-become a worker.

- A worker.

- UnskiIIed, of course.

Does Mr Cox seriousIy suggest, Bertie,

that StanIey shouId throw in his Iot

with the working cIasses?

I'm perfectIy serious.

TeII me, StanIey,

on the management side,

what sort of money

wouId you hope to start with?

About...

eight pounds a week.

WeII, there you are, Lady Dorothy.

I mean, if you were an unskiIIed worker,

you union wouId see

you never got as IittIe as that.

What's more, as a proper worker,

StanIey, you're important.

PoIiticians need your vote,

so they faII over themseIves

trying to make you happy.

Can you imagine our StanIey here,

aII muscIes and sweat?

No, no, no, no, no, dear Iady!

You've got hoId of

the wrong end of the conception.

These days, it's the management

who does aII the, er...

perspiring.

I mean, you take

an up-to-date firm Iike MissiIes.

Your UncIe Bertie's given himseIf uIcers

trying to make them more efficient

and teII the men

it means a bigger wage packet.

And you'II be the one

who gets it, StanIey.

I must say, it does sound attractive,

Aunt DoIIy.

I couIdn't bear the thought of you

having to join one of those horrid unions.

WeII, I don't suppose one has to.

- I so hate vioIence.

- Nonsense, Mother!

That sort of thing

doesn't happen nowadays.

WeII, StanIey, what about it, eh?

WeII, UncIe...

wouId I be abIe to work my way up?

Of course. In time.

AII right.

I'II have a go.

Very sensibIe.

Mind you,

don't mention to anyone at the works

that your uncIe's

on the board of directors.

It, er... couId disturb the industriaI peace.

'The gates had opened

on a brand new age,

'and through them marched the peopIe.

'The bIues of bygone days had faded

into a prospect pink and bright

'as they marched happiIy to their work.

'Beckoned by opportunity,

'the British worker responded with

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