I'm All Right Jack Page #3

---

a new sense of the dignity of Iabour.

'To match his age-oId traditions

'of brotherhood and comradeship.'

- Here you are, KnowIesey.

- Ay.

Here you are, KnowIesey.

A nice IittIe two-shiIIing doubIe for today.

- From Bertie in the machine shop.

- Ta, mate.

Did you do the one

I give you Friday, CharIie?

Get out. I did the horse you give me on

Thursday and it's stiII running.

KnowIes! KnowIes!

Watch it, here comes CrawIey!

KnowIes, come here.

This new man here, KnowIes.

I'm putting him on the trucks with you.

- Give him the Iow-down, wiII you?

- Right, Mr CrawIey.

Come on, you men. Start work!

Come on!

Come on, get cracking. Come on.

That's a nice, er... smooth bit of stuff,

ain't it, squire?

- Got your overaIIs?

- I'm afraid I haven't.

Ooh, you'd better buy some quick,

otherwise you'II have the major after you.

- Major?

- Yeah, OId Itchy, the personneI manager.

What you might caII everybody's auntie.

That's aII right

for the brass at Head Office.

They don't actuaIIy have to deaI

with the workers.

As personneI officer, that's myjob.

God heIp me!

And I can teII you,

they're an absoIute shower.

A positive shower!

But my instructions, Major Hitchcock,

are to carry out a time and motion study

- in every department.

- Whose bright idea was that?

Mr TracepurceI, I suppose.

He engaged me.

- Thank you.

- But sureIy the men must know that I...

Know!

Get this into your head.

They know nothing other than what's

in their pay packet at the end of the week.

We've got chaps here who can break out

into a muck sweat mereIy by standing stiII.

One thing they can't stand

is being stopwatched.

But the soIe purpose

of a time and motion study

is to enabIe the men to work efficientIy,

weII within their naturaI capacity.

Capacity!

My dear feIIow, the onIy capacity

naturaI to these stinkers

is the capacity to dodge the coIumn.

Sorry, oId chap!

Letting off steam Iike that.

Had rather a punishing night, Iast night.

Did a spot of time and motion study

of my own.

Redhead. Rather athIetic.

- Quite!

- WeII, not to worry, oId boy!

I shaII just have to think of a way

for you do your stuff

without these rotters cottoning on.

It won't be easy, though.

The Iast time and motion feIIow we had

tried to pass himseIf off

as one of the workers.

They rumbIed him right away.

Poor chap's stiII in hospitaI.

Up...

down.

- Dead simpIe.

- I must say.

It Iooks a joIIy efficient IittIe job.

It must be great fun driving it.

Yes, weII, aII you've got to worry

about is to remember

to pIug in here at nights,

when you knock off work,

so the batteries are fuIIy charged

when you come in in the morning.

Terrific. It's so simpIe.

The man hours saved

must be coIossaI.

Yes. WeII, we're on

a fixed-bonus system,

so there's no need

to go flogging your guts out.

I dare say, but after aII,

one of these trucks must be abIe

to do the work of a dozen men.

Not haIf, reaIIy, don't you know?

You're, er... dead keen,

ain't you, squire?

CouId you just

run over the thing once again? I...

Dai, we've got another one.

Go on, go and teII 'em.

Good idea, CharIie.

...so when he started shooting off

about efficiency

and doing the work of ten men,

Brother Carter suggested

that I shouId report the matter formaIIy

to the shop steward.

Very commendabIe, Iad.

On a point of order, Brother Chair,

if he is one of them

time and motion bIokes,

we'II have to move quick otherwise he'II

stopwatch the men on the job

and we'II find ourseIves with tighter

scheduIes for the same rate of pay.

ExactIy, brother. ExactIy. But we have to

pIay this thing rather carefuI.

On the one hand, we must be fair

to the man concerned,

yet on the other hand, we don't wish to

raise issues with the management

which wiII reverberate back

to our detriment.

Hear, hear!

This Iot's got to be shifted to despatch.

We'II start this end.

If you don't mind,

I'II start on my own, down here.

- Watch it!

- 'Ere, what's your game?

FrightfuIIy sorry!

- Sorry. Sorry. Sorry...

- 'Ere, who's gonna sort this Iot out?

- You berk!

- Are you potty or something?

- Right, pIay 21 .

- Same here.

Good Iord, man,

what the heII do you think you're doing?

- Shut that bIeeding door!

- Go on! Get off out of it, wiII you?

I do beg your pardon.

I'm new here.

- I shouId bIoody weII think you are.

- Now, you bring those things back here,

and you get back up the other end.

That's where you ought to be.

You berk!

I don't know, they're taking on some

proper charIies nowadays, aren't they?

Right, here we go again.

- What are you doing?

- Three!

I say...

The most extraordinary thing.

I moved some crates down there,

and there were some chaps

pIaying cards.

- They were absoIuteIy furious.

- No, weII, I toId you to start this end.

But who are they?

They are what is caIIed redundant.

The management

wanted to sack 'em,

but the works committee said

if they did,

we'd aII come out on strike.

So, they're kept on as checkers.

Ha! But don't expect them

to check anything.

Now, come on, get weaving

and onIy one at a time, mind you.

- That's him, Mr Kite.

- You!

You!

What do you think you're doing?

FrightfuIIy sorry.

Afraid I haven't quite got this thing

buttoned up yet.

What's your name?

Windrush!

Me and my coIIeagues

are the works committee.

How do you do?

WouId you mind

producing your union card?

I'm afraid I can't.-

WeII, you see,

I happen to be staying with an aunt

who has rather strong feeIings

about unions.

She's not the onIy one

with strong feeIings, mate.

- It's not compuIsory, is it?

- No, it's not compuIsory,

OnIy you've got to join, see?

WeII, if it's not compuIsory

that's aII right, I'II join.

Have you ever done

this sort ofjob before?

I'm afraid I haven't.

What brought you here, then?

WeII, it aII started

when I was recommended

to take up industriaI management.

IndustriaI management!

AII right, mate, off you get.

- AIf, caII a stoppage of the truck drivers.

- Right.

Brother Carter,

take charge of his truck.

Don't you do nothing

tiII your case has been gone into.

Come on, get off it!

Creep!

My dear feIIow,

we're Iiving in the weIfare state.

I caII it the fareweII state.

The soIdier's fareweII.

Sorry, Major. Just heard there's troubIe

on the way. The shop stewards.

Damn it! There you are, Waters,

what did I teII you?

They're on to you aIready.

These feIIows couId smeII out a time

and motion man in a Iitter of poIecats.

Henry, take Waters outside

and camouflage him. Come on.

- Is he in?

- Good morning, Mr Kite.

WeII, he's very busy, but I know

he's aIways pIeased to see you.

WiII you come this way?

The works committee

to see you, Major.

Come in, take a pew.

Cigarette?

After due deIiberation,

Major Hitchcock,

the works committee

has had to caII a stoppage

in response to our members' wishes.

WeII, what preciseIy is the troubIe?

The members feeI that the agreement

negotiated with respect to

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes