I'm All Right Jack Page #4

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time and motion study

- is being contravened.

- That's impossibIe!

You know me. I wouIdn't do anything

behind the backs of the unions.

Then, perhaps, Major Hitchcock,

you can expIain

the presence of this new man.

New man?

But he hasn't started yet.

Hasn't started yet?

Then what's he doing

on a f-f-f-forkIift truck?

- Who?

- Windrush.

Wind... That name rings a beII.

Get his particuIars.

Let's be perfectIy frank

with each other, Major.

This man is not a genuine worker.

He's admitted as much.

And in permitting him to drive

one of them trucks,

I wouId say the management

is wiIfuIIy chiropodising

the safety of its empIoyees.

What is more, Major,

he does not hoId a union card.

- Here you are, Major.

- Thank you.

But you're absoIuteIy right.

It's that damned Iabour exchange again.

Henry, this man

must be sacked immediateIy.

WeII now, do you see

what we're up against?

Nowadays they send us anybody.

Just anybody.

I must say, I'm reaIIy gratefuI to you chaps

for drawing this matter to my attention.

I mean, after aII, it is up to the unions

to heIp us keep out the incompetents.

Er... If you do not mind, Major,

we wouId aII Iike to withdraw and consuIt.

- By aII means, go ahead.

- Thank you.

That was a near one.

I thought they were onto Waters.

What a shower.

I'd better get on to CrawIey

and teII him to pay this man off.

Yes, and at the same time,

give him a rocket

for empIoying the twerp

in the first pIace.

Come in!

My coIIeagues here have instructed me

to put to you one question, Major.

CertainIy, go ahead, my dear feIIow.

Is it, or is it not your intention

to sack this man?

Sack him, of course.

I am obIiged to point out, Major,

that if you sack this man,

the company is in breach

of its agreement with the union.

But sureIy,

he's not a union member.

Correct, but, that is mereIy technicaI.

But didn't you say

that he was incompetent

and couIdn't do his job properIy?

We do not and cannot accept the principIe

that incompetence justifies dismissaI.

That is victimisation.

- That's right.

- Hear, hear!

WeII, we... we seem to have been

at cross purposes.

I was under the impression that it was

you chaps who objected to this feIIow.

That was before we was

in fuII possession of the facts.

WeII, in that case

everything's absoIuteIy spIendid,

and the feIIow can stay on.

WeII, I think we can

aII congratuIate ourseIves

on a most productive morning's work.

We haven't had

a stoppage Iike this for ages.

Not since the week before Iast.

I'm terribIy sorry about it.

Ooh, you don't want to be sorry, squire.

It makes a nice IittIe break, don't it?

- What's up now?

- Dinner time. Come on, cock.

BIimey. AII go today, innit?

Our chairman,

as you know, is indisposed,

but he has asked me to say

how much MissiIes vaIue

the pIacing with us

of this important arms contract.

Satisfaction that is strengthened

by the knowIedge

that in suppIying your country

with arms,

MissiIes are making their own speciaI

contribution to the peace of the worId.

Hear, hear!

On a personaI note,

I wouId Iike to pay tribute

to his ExceIIency, Mr Mohammed here,

whose charm as a dipIomat is

weII matched by his personaI integrity.

Hear! Hear!

The success of these negotiations

is entireIy due to him.

- Thank you, Mr Mohammed.

- Thank you.

You flatter me, Mr TracepurceI.

I am no dipIomat,

I'm a simpIe businessman.

My dear sir, no.

We're both simpIe businessmen.

Excuse me, sir.

There's a rather urgent caII.

WiII you excuse me.

A rather urgent caII.

- Of course.

- Thank you.

- Did you enjoy your Iunch?

- Very much, thank you!

Good!

Yes, the deaI's just been signed.

Now, Iisten very carefuIIy, Cox.

Leak the story to the papers

right away.

By tomorrow, our shares

wiII have trebIed in vaIue

and we'II start seIIing them off.

By the end of the week, we shouId

have made a very nice tax-free kiIIing.

And then we can go ahead

with the rest of the pIan.

Huh?

You don't have to worry about that.

StanIey's niceIy Iined up.

He started work this morning.

In... IncidentaIIy...

I've been studying His ExceIIency

Mr Mohammed rather cIoseIy.

I think he shouId prove cooperative.

Yes, of course,

the troubIe in the worId today is

that everybody

is out grabbing for himseIf.

But in Britain it's so different.

You pIay the game.

Nice to hear you say that,

Mr Mohammed.

It's a matter

of mutuaI confidence, reaIIy.

And after aII, every man

working for MissiIes knows

that we're aII in the same game together.

That essentiaIIy

we're aII out for the same thing.

Of course, you see, it's entireIy different

in the Soviet Union.

There they are aII working

for the same thing.

It is...

It is a cIassIess society.

Here, you've got to watch 'em.

That is why the workers

have to stand soIid.

Yes, yes, they struck me

as being pretty soIid.

I must say it's very heartening

having you inteIIectuaIs

coming into the working-cIass

movement Iike this.

One has to do something.

True, brother, true.

I see from your particuIars

you was at coIIege in Oxford.

Yes, I was.

- Yes, I was up there meseIf.

- ReaIIy?

Yes, I was

at the BaIIioI Summer SchooI, 1946.

Very good toast and preserves

they give you at teatime,

- as you probabIy know.

- No, I didn't know, actuaIIy.

- WeII, there's your form, brother.

- Why, thank you.

Pop in on your way home

and pay your dues at the branch.

Got far to go, have you?

Erm... Ooh, no,

it takes me about fifty minutes.

I was wondering whether I ought to

try and find rooms nearer the works.

WeII, I might be abIe to heIp you there.

- Mrs Kite takes in occasionaIIy.

Oh, weII,

that's very kind of you, but...

No, no, no.

As a matter of fact, I'd weIcome it.

I enjoy a bit of serious company

and good conversation.

- Pop round and have a Iook at the rooms.

- WeII, erm...

Thank you very much, Mr Kite, but, um...

WeII, perhaps I couId Iet you know.

Ooh...

Er, Dad, teII Mum I'II be in Iate tonight,

wiII you?

Very weII, Cynthia.

You on overtime, are you?

Don't be daft.

Going up West... dancing.

My daughter Cynthia.

Works here, spindIe poIishing.

ReaIIy?

Quite a job.

Erm... that room

you were taIking about just now...

You sure it wouIdn't be any troubIe?

No, no, StanIey, not a bit of it.

WeII, erm... perhaps I couId pop round

and have a Iook at it.

Erm... say tomorrow night?

Tomorrow night.

Yes, capitaI, capitaI.

- Tomorrow night, then.

- Good!

Of course,

that's imperiaIism for you.

I mean, you caII the coIoured chap inferior

and what have you got?

Cheap Iabour.

That's how the bosses make their profits

whiIe haIf the worId's starving.

For goodness' sake!

Stop being such a' oId misery!

Here! Eat this!

It's just that I don't Iike to see our cIass

behaving Iike the Gadarene swine.

Here, you watch your Ianguage, Fred Kite,

if you don't mind...

In front of Mr Windrush.

That girI with that gramophone again.

She'II never stop it.

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