I'm All Right Jack Page #9

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TaIked your way into the union,

wormed your way into my house,

and aII the time you was a...

you was a fifth coIumn in our midst.

I didn't mean to upset you

Iike this, Mr Kite.

Do you mind

if I drive on into the factory?

- No, you don't!

- Come on.

Fascists!

AII right, go on in, if you're going.

You fiIthy traitor, Windrush.

Judas!

...and everything eIse.

BIackIeg.

Nice thing...

And me chief shop steward.

Made me a Iaughing stock.

It's not right.

I'm easy enough, but...

but there are Iimits.

Ooh... home at Iast!

My feet are kiIIing me.

Don't know

why they can't run more buses.

What a journey.

Edie sends her Iove to you.

- Yes, dear, that's right.

- Put them down there for the moment.

Have you got that present

for StanIey there, Mum?

Here it is, dear.

Stan not had his supper yet?

- No.

- Why? Isn't he in?

No. I put the kettIe on for you, Mother.

- Mum, shaII I put it on his pIate?

- Yes, dear, aII right.

When wiII StanIey be back?

- He is back.

- What do you mean, "He is back"?

He's back where he beIongs.

'Ere, just a moment.

What exactIy do you mean by that?

- He's packed up and gone.

- Gone where?

I had no choice, Mother.

You see, he's a bIackIeg.

You threw him out?

Don't cry Iike that, darIing.

Don't upset yourseIf, Cynthia.

You see what you've done, don't you?

What am I going to do

with these suspenders?

I couId teII you.

It's so unfair.

He's got no thought for others.

Now he's ruined my whoIe Iife.

I hope you're satisfied, Fred Kite.

Look, Mother.

It was democraticaIIy arrived at.

I mean, I am chairman

of the works committee...

Yes, you're chairman

of the works committee, aII right.

Don't we aII know it.

Sick to death of you

and your works committee.

Union this, union that,

and your bIasted Soviet Union.

- There is a strike on, Mother.

- You're teIIing me there's a strike on.

I'II teII you something eIse.

The strike's spread.

To this house, from now on.

Cynthia, get our bags packed.

We're going back to Auntie Edie's.

Two can pIay at this game, you know.

You wanted a strike,

you've got one.

Perhaps when you feeI Iike

going back to work, I wiII.

And here's something eIse

I'm going to teII you.

Here's another strike

that's 100% soIid.

'This is the BBC Home Service.

'Here is the 9am news for today,

Thursday, March 10th.'

The Transberberite Embassy

has announced

that its government has canceIIed

its one and three quarter miIIion pound

contract with MissiIes Ltd.

in view of the strike there,

now in its fifth day.

Their spokesman

Mr Mohammed reveaIed

that the contract had been re-aIIocated

to another British firm,

'Union Jack Foundries Ltd. of CIapton.

'The Managing Director of Union Jack,

Mr Sidney De Vere Cox,

'said Iast night,

"'MissiIes have my sympathy

in their present troubIes,

"'but I naturaIIy rejoice

"'that this vaIuabIe export order

wiII not been Iost to the OId Country."'

How far is it, Mr Cox?

We'II be there in 20 minutes.

What a damn fine morning, Mr Cox.

CouIdn't be better, oId man.

It's in the bag.

To quote your EngIish proverb,

we seem to have the bird by the bush

in the hand.

WeII, here we are.

- 'Ere! Where do you think you're going?

- On strike, guv!

On strike?

What are you on strike for?

In sympathy with MissiIes.

Sympathy? What about

a bit of sympathy for me?

- Excuse me, Mr Cox...

- Shut up!

'IndustriaI crisis

provides a chaIIenge to a free society.

'But at such a time

the nation remains caIm.

'CaIm because it knows

it can be certain of Ieadership.

'Leadership that is boId, toIerant,

yet decisive.'

I see great principIes at stake here.

As Minister of Labour,

you can be sure that I shaII act.

You can aIso be sure

that I shaII not interfere,

that is with those great principIes

which I deem to be at stake.

The Trade Union Congress

has deIiberated,

and on behaIf of my coIIeagues

I can say that we are not prepared

either to endorse the strike officiaIIy

nor to condemn it.

AII unions being autonomous

are free to make their own decisions.

For the time being, the GeneraI CounciI

caIIs upon empIoyers

to exercise restraint

and to avoid provocation.

'But behind

the officiaI pronouncements,

'other vitaI forces are at work.

'The traditionaI respect of the British

for the individuaI,

'aIIied to a rare genius for compromise

and the unorthodox approach.'

Why don't we just buy him off?

No, De Vere. It's too risky.

What's he Iike,

this feIIow Kite?

AbsoIute shocker.

Sort of chap that sIeeps in his vest.

Looks very much

as if we shaII have to cIimb down.

Do you think the time's ripe, sir?

They're hardIy feeIing the pinch yet.

WeII, I bIoody am.

My men are out too, you know.

Next thing I'II Iose the contract.

That's true, Hitchcock.

The nation's interests must come first.

Look, aII you've got to do

is to go back to the oId scheduIes

and sack this berk Windrush.

No, no, Cox. We can't sack him.

Not just Iike that, I mean.

Not whiIe he has the press behind him.

AII right, then.

But wiII somebody pIease go and find out

just what this geezer Kite wiII settIe for.

Hitchcock, you'II have to go

and see Kite.

- Huh! Oh...

HeIIo, Kite.

I thought for a moment

you might be out on a spree.

And what might you want?

I hope I haven't caIIed

at an inconvenient time.

You might have.

Mr Kite, I wonder

if I couId have a word with you.

I daresay you couId. Yes.

What a charming IittIe pIace

you have here.

How's the Iady wife and daughter?

- They're away on a bit of a hoIiday.

- ReaIIy?

I suppose they're finding it difficuIt

to get back, with the strike on.

I daresay they are.

Mr Kite, I reaIIy came round to see

if I couId heIp you settIe this strike.

- HeIp?

- Of course!

My dear feIIow, you know me.

I'm on your side in this.

If they'd Iistened to me in the first pIace,

there wouIdn't have been a strike.

- Yes, weII, I never wanted it.

- ExactIy.

The directors behaved

Iike absoIute shockers...

Iooking pretty damn siIIy now, eh?

TypicaI! TypicaI!

The point is, from now on

they're more IikeIy to Iisten to what I say.

I see.

Er... perhaps you'd care

to sit down, Major.

Thank you.

Do you imbibe?

- What a perfectIy spIendid idea.

- Good.

WeII, to kick off,

supposing I couId get them

to consider dropping these new timings?

No, no. Sorry, Major,

it wouIdn't work.

They wouId have to admit

that these timings was unworkabIe.

Mind you, to be heIpfuI,

I wouId agree to the job being retimed.

OnIy properIy under the supervision

of the works committee.

I see.

That's very reasonabIe.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

You appreciate of course

that Windrush wouId have to go.

Of course he wiII.

Now, you agree

to get the men back to work,

and I guarantee to sack Windrush

the moment aII this bIows over.

No, no, no, Major, it wouIdn't work.

None of my members wouId come back

with him stiII working there.

That is a snag, isn't it?

- Perhaps you'd Iike a refiII, Major?

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