I'm Gonna Git You Sucka Page #4

Synopsis: Jack Spade returns home from the army in his old ghetto neighborhood when his brother, Junebug dies from O.G. - over gold. Jack declares war on Mr. Big, powerful local crime lord. His army is led by John Slade, his childhood idol who used to fight bad guys in the '70s.
Genre: Action, Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Keenen Ivory Wayans
Production: MGM Home Entertainment
 
IMDB:
6.6
Metacritic:
48
Rotten Tomatoes:
64%
R
Year:
1988
88 min
1,497 Views


You think it's that easy ?

You just ask us,

and we tell you, right ?

We supposed to tell you ?

Sh*t.

That's funny.

You're gonna have to

kill him first.

Why you gonna

kill me first, Lenny ?

You guys talk a lot of sh*t

to be so light in the ass.

- Uh, uncle Mr. Big

told us to kill him.

- why does Big want me dead ?

The word's on the street

you been sticking your nose

in business that's not yours.

You're sticking

your nose in it.

And you, Mr. Whoever You Are.

Whoever you are.

The same is gonna happen to you

when Mr. Big finds out

what you did tonight.

Well, you know what ?

You guys are real lucky.

I'm in a good mood tonight,

so I'm gonna let you go, okay ?

- I thought so.

- Hey, Lenny, wait a minute.

Why were you gonna let us go

when we was just over there

trying to kill you ?

Stupid.

What do you care why ?

- Let's just go.

- Look.

You tell Mr. Big...

that John Slade is back.

He's got 24 hours

to get outta town.

Now, you guys can either

go over the side...

- Or you can ...

- Yeah, we'll take the stairs.

Yeah, I thought you knew.

Come on. Let's go.

Go on. Shut up.

F***ing get off me, man.

Come on.

Go ahead.

Aah !

When they get back to Big,

it's gonna get rough.

You better score

some big guns.

When the saints

Go marchin' in

When the saints

Go marchin' in

Do that march, baby.

I wanna be, uh

In that number

How you doing, brother man ?

- May I help you gentlemen ?

- Yes, sir.

We wanna see one-eyed Sam.

You ain't selling

any NoWay products,

are you ?

We look like salesmen

to you ?

He ain't here, okay ?

You call him on the phone

and you tell him

that John Slade...

has got to score tonight.

Yeah, Okay. John Slade.

I'll get his line

here for you.

Refuses to shine

Sam, sorry to wake you.

Two big ugly-looking guys,

one guy who thinks

he's at sea world.

This other guy named Slade.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Slade says he

needs a big score.

Okay. Later.

Uh, Slade, Slade.

I-I'm sorry about that.

Sam says he'll be right over

and for me to get you guys

a drink on the house.

- Enjoy the show.

Sorry about that, man.

- No problem.

All right.

When the saints

Go mar-wa-wa-waah

Saints

Hi, can I get you fellas

something to drink ?

Yes, baby, give me

a whiskey double, okay ?

One whiskey double.

And ?

Um, I'll have a Pepsi double.

One whiskey double

and one Pepsi coming right up.

Be in that number

When the saints

Go marchin' in

I-i-i-in, whoo

Will you be there with me

I'm asking, will you

be there with me

- Who is that ?

- That's the director's sister.

- One whiskey double.

- Thank you.

and a... Pepsi double.

You've got some things to learn

about being a hero.

Like what ?

I mean, a Pepsi ?

- Jack, come on.

- Wh-what's wrong with Pepsi ?

When's the last time

you been laid ?

- What ?

- You heard what I said.

Uh, well, not ...

Been a while, hasn't it ?

Yeah, okay, so ...

So yeah, all right.

So it's been a while.

But that's only 'cause

I'm waiting on somebody ...

Waiting on somebody special.

Somebody special.

You got a lot to learn.

You gotta learn the difference

between being loved...

and being laid.

Now, when I was with your mom ...

When I was with your mom,

That was being loved.

But you see down at the end

of the bar there ?

That is for being laid.

I ...

She's comin' over here !

Be cool. Loosen up.

Let her do the talking.

Hi. My name's Cherry.

What's yours ?

- Jack.

- Jack.

That's such

a strong-sounding name.

Jack.

Do you find me attractive ?

Oh, yeah.

I was just wondering,

what are you doing

in a place like this ?

Looking for Mr. Right,

and I think I might

have just found him.

Why ?

Well, any man

with such a strong name

and strong body...

Probably has

exactly what I need.

What's that ?

Twelve inches.

Twelve inches.

Uh, well ...

I ...

Hmm ?

I guess I'd do.

Well, hello, Mr. Right.

Say, Jack, honey, I've got a

place just around the corner.

Let's say we get out of here.

- Get out.

- Get out.

Oh, oh, I don't know.

I-I'm here with my friend,

and, you know, we got...

business.

No problem.

I got plenty of time.

Help yourself.

I'll just sit here

and wait for Sam.

Mmm.

Never met a girl

like you before

You're so cute

Mmm.

Oh, shoot me, hurt me.

Ooh, yes !

Oh ! You ...

You are so sexy.

Jack, I can't wait.

Hmm, baby.

Give me ...

Mm-hmm.

Give me... Give me

all the 12 inches.

All the 12...

Now !

Oh, the 12. Um...

Now ! Now !

Now !

Oh, the 12, the 12.

Yeah, that's good.

Ooh, that's good.

We gotta talk about this 12.

Huh ?

Twelve.

I... Yeah,

about those 12 inches ?

Well, uh, I lied.

I-i really don't have

12 inches.

No ?

I hope I didn't

disappoint you.

Well, I have a confession

to make too.

Really ?

My eyes...

Aren't really green.

You know what else ?

Another secret. What ?

Aaah !

Aaah ! Aaah !

But this is nice

in the summer !

Oh, wait.

I am glad to get these off.

No, not that. Not the tits.

Please don't be the ...

They're not even

the right color !

- whoo !

- this voluptuous ass of mine ?

Oh, wait.

Guys always get a kick

out of this one. Wait.

Oh, god, I feel so much better.

I know you do too.

Look, ooh... Whoo !

Hey, you see ?

It... You-you...

No, wait.

I got to... I have got to...

Oh, please,

Jack, honey, come on.

Don't make me...

Don't make me hop after you.

Come on, baby.

That was quick. What happened ?

It was unbelievable.

- Slade !

- Hey, Sam !

How are you, man ?

You're lookin' good.

Hey.

Good to see you.

What's so damn important

you gotta wake me

out of my bed ?

We've got to score,

and we got to score tonight.

- Follow me.

- You the man.

Let's go.

Sam, this youngblood

is Jack Spade.

Jack, Sam.

- You a soldier, boy ?

- Yes, sir.

What was your specialty,

son ?

I was a, uh...

I was the intermilitary

administrator.

Well, I'll be damned.

A secretary.

Well, good to meet you, son.

I was intermilitary

administrator myself.

Sam. Sam, hold it, man.

You told me you served in 'nam.

I did. Saigon.

How'd you lose your eye ?

F***in' around in the office.

We were shootin' paper clips,

and one of the damn fools

hit me in the eye.

Same thing

almost happened to me.

How'd you win those f***in'

medals on your coat ?

Well, this one is for typin'.

And this one

is for dart champion.

This one is for surfin'.

I got that one !

Never mind, never mind !

Shut up.

Show me what you got.

Well, they need to be cleaned

and oiled, but they work.

Well, I could do that.

Hey, all we need now

is an army.

You take care of the weapons,

and I'll get us an army.

Jack, I'm glad you're okay.

I was really worried about you.

I cleaned the room up for you.

Do you like it ?

Yeah, it's nice.

May I sit down ?

Yeah.

Jack,

why didn't you write to me

all those years ?

I didn't have nothin'

to tell you.

Well, you could have just

told me you were alive.

Cheryl, I went away

to prove something to you.

No, not to you.

Prove something to myself.

Rate this script:4.0 / 4 votes

Keenen Ivory Wayans

Keenen Ivory Desuma Wayans, Sr. (born June 8, 1958) is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, and a member of the Wayans family of entertainers. He first came to prominence as the host and the creator of the 1990–1994 Fox sketch comedy series In Living Color. He has produced, directed and/or written a large number of films, starting with Hollywood Shuffle, which he co-wrote, in 1987. A majority of these films have included him and one or more of his brothers and sisters in the cast. One of these films, Scary Movie (2000), which Wayans directed, was the highest-grossing movie ever directed by an African American until it was surpassed by Tim Story's Fantastic Four in 2005. From 1997 to 1998, he hosted the talk show The Keenen Ivory Wayans Show. Most recently, he was a judge for the eighth season of Last Comic Standing. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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