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I'm Still Here Page #10
I've given up acting.
You've given up acting?!
You've given up shaving.
There's a difference.
I'm gonna do my
Joaquin Phoenix for you.
I'm as giddy
as Joaquin Phoenix
with a ballpoint pen
and a blank prescription pad.
We better call Puff Daddy...
Phoenix has gone completely nuts.
Earlier this month
You might recall
a rather odd appearance, to put it mildly.
Everybody, it looks like
Joaquin Phoenix is finished.
And if he wasn't such an a**hole,
this would kinda be a sad day.
He should have stayed Joaquin Phoenix,
the tortured actor. This rapping thing?
It's like somebody turning the lights on
in a bar at 2:
00 a.m.It just looks f***ing horrible.
But before we mourn his 15 minutes,
let's remember that prior to J.P.,
he was Joaquin Phoenix,
which wasn't even his real name either.
It was like Leaf Jacobs
or some sh*t like that.
He is a product of ambition--
just a hipper vegan Tom Cruise.
You know, all that noise about "I am the guy
who doesn't care what you think of me;
I don't watch my movies;
I'm so real"
was not only annoying bullshit,
but it obscured the fact
that he was just a f***ing ham
even when he mumbled.
Now maybe we can appreciate
the subtle, more refined talents
of a-- dare I say--
Leonardo DiCaprio,
or a Matt Damon?
Is it real?
It really doesn't matter.
Hugh Grant got head from that hooker
and was forgiven
before his "Leno" appearance
went to commercial.
and showed us her p*ssy
But Phoenix is f***ed
because even behind
that homeless man's beard
and without showing
his genitalia,
his little bucket of mystery all over the floor.
Leaf, Joaquin, J.P.,
all three of you are finished.
There's no spectacle to hope for,
no fantasy to imagine.
The thrill is gone.
Hey, David.
Yeah, it's Larry.
With Joaquin.
Yeah, I wanted to talk to you
about getting Joaquin
down there at LIV
to perform this week.
Is Wednesday a big night?
I mean, is the place
going to be packed or--?
- I just talked to David.
- David?
- Yeah, the guy from Miami.
- Oh yeah?
- And what did he say?
- Wednesday night.
- Wednesday?
- Yeah.
Why the f*** Wednesday?
He says it's a good night.
You know, like hip crowd,
they'll like your music.
The guy down in Miami
had doubts about, you know,
Joaquin's abilities
and I had to reassure him
a little bit
that it wasn't going to be
another "Letterman" thing.
I don't know.
I mean...
I can't question that.
If he wants to do something, we do it.
A charity's being formed
for this deformity
'Cause man can't conform for nobody...
How-- what's that sound like?
What can I say to Antony
but "F*** you"?
No, all right.
Do you have reverb on the vocal?
- Uh, no.
- No, nothing.
Uh-huh. And the track
isn't running through the board at all?
There's no--
we can't E.Q. the track?
I'm still real, I won't kneel
Unless it's God,
my team will know how I feel
I never sold out, never,
my good soul, never
I live forever,
I'm the one that God's chosen, b*tch.
Lar?
Go go go go.
Coming in through the deejay booth.
Be by the deejay booth.
Side of the stage.
Bring him through the stage.
Go go go go!
The side of the stage--
bring him
off the side of the stage-- go!
What the f*** is up, Miami?!
And now let's hear it...
for J.P., baby.
Let's motherfucking rock!
What?
F*** you.
I'm still here,
I don't scare
I don't fear,
don't even fear f***ing fear
I never crack, never,
I don't give, never
I live forever,
I'm the one that God...
I'm still real,
I won't kneel
Unless it's God,
my team know how I feel
I never sold out, never,
my good soul, never
I live forever,
I'm the one that God chose
I heard the call,
alarms sounding off
Feeling guilty 'cause my night
was spent f***ing off
History perverted me,
words can never harm me
Saying I'm the epitome
of a f***ing rap self-parody
A charity's being formed
for this deformity
This man can't conform
for nobody
I made it here despite
the efforts of a few
What can I say to a punk
but "F*** you"?
I must confess,
I'm preposterous at best
A pretentious mess,
can't get himself even dressed
In response I don't get mad,
I shake you off
Waving goodbye
like I was last year's fad
Trend-setting,
on you I won't be betting
I let it go so long as you know
that I'm stormy weather
And whether or not
you're better or not
Couldn't make a lick of difference
from where I'm sitting at the top
I don't scare
Don't even fear
f***ing fear
I never crack, never,
I don't give, never
I'll throw it down,
you can bet on that, fella
I'm still real,
I won't kneel
Unless it's God,
my team know how I feel
I never sold out, never,
my good soul, never
Live forever, I'm the one
that God's chosen, b*tch
Long-winded letters
that I've written
Once a snake has bitten,
I'll forgive but won't forget it
Not talking revenge,
I don't have the time to do to you
All the f***ed-up things,
fantasies of ruining you
Ain't got a crew,
but I'll take on yours
Gotta wrap this sh*t up with you
'cause I'm so f***ing bored
Just this one thing
I gotta say
To let you know,
to get it off my chest
Before this long rest
I never did what you thought I did
Still you came at me
swinging, kid
Nevertheless I wish you the best
and pray you get to heaven
But more than likely
you'll be burning with the devil
I don't fear,
don't even fear f***ing fear
I never crack, never,
I don't give, never
I throw it down,
you can bet on that, fella
I'm still real,
I won't kneel
Unless it's God,
my team know how I feel
I never sold out, never,
my good soul, never
I live forever,
I'm the one that God's chosen
B*tch.
So, LIV,
it's good to see y'all.
Dude, what's your
f***ing problem?
Shut the f*** up.
You wanna get up here
and try and f***ing do it, b*tch?
Show it, yeah.
Sorry, we got a f***ing a**hole
in the audience.
F***ing shut up, dude.
Does my suit cost more
than you f***ing make
in a f***ing week, dude?
Is that why?
Yeah.
Dude, I got a million dollars
in a f***ing bank account.
What do you got, b*tch?
You washing dishes?
You standing around washing dishes,
you gonna come make fun of me?
All right,
taking the next song--
uh... what?
You motherfucking a**hole.
Oh, grab it!
Get off.
Joaquin, Joaquin, Joaquin.
Is that it?
- I'll get some towels.
- And water.
Here you go.
Can I get some water too,
please?
We'll take the back
so they won't get you.
I hope.
You all right?
Dude, that was
a good show.
When I dream
I dream of you
And if I'm wrong,
we'll know it's true
It takes more than sacrifice
To keep love--
It disappears just like the dew
Dew-www
Well, there's
Cool water in you
Well, you know that there's
Cool water in you
You know there's
Cool water in you
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"I'm Still Here" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/i'm_still_here_10554>.
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