I'm Still Here Page #4

to what goes down.

This is a good night.

I'm f***ing feeling it.

Man, I can't f***ing believe it.

Um, sh*t, this is

f***ing embarrassing.

I literally don't know what to say.

Do I say Diddy?

- How you doing?

- Good day, man. How's it going?

- Good.

- Phoenix--

Joaquin Phoenix

to see Diddy.

- To see who?

- Diddy.

Mr. Combs.

Sean.

This is it.

Dude, we're late, all right?

Press that thing.

- Did you press it?

- Yeah.

Hey!

Oh sh*t.

- Combs residence.

- Hey, this is Joaquin Phoenix.

J.P. And I see a car coming out.

We're a little late.

Yeah, he said he waited here for 30 minutes.

He couldn't wait any longer.

- He just left actually.

- Oh sh*t, this is him now.

You wanna try him

on his cell phone?

Yeah, I'm gonna-- I'll call him.

Okay, back up.

F***ing back up.

All right, dude, we're gonna back up.

Let-- is this him?

Oh Jesus.

This is so f***ing embarrassing.

Back up, back up.

Oh sh*t, oh f***.

Hi, Carrin-- Carleena?

Hi, this is Joaquin.

Yeah, I was supposed

to meet, um--

uh, come over

and meet Diddy just now.

And we were late

because the hotel...

I just pulled up and there were

cars pulling out.

I'm leaving tomorrow morning.

Well, please

tell Mr. Combs I'm very sorry

and I hope

to talk to him soon.

Oh sh*t.

I just sent Puff a text.

- What was it?

- I just said, "You tell me,

I'll be there

wherever you want, sir."

Oh my God.

"I can meet you

in room 1416."

I'm not gonna f***ing

freestyle, dude.

That's why

I wanted the iPod.

Dude, please, if you can't take this seriously--

just chill.

I think you should knock again.

Shut up!

Knock again.

Hey, man,

it's Joa-- Joaquin.

- All right.

- What's up?

What's up, dude?

Hey, man.

You were supposed to meet me

at my house like an hour ago.

I'm sorry, dude.

We got-- this is my friend Larry.

- Who's good, man?

- What's up, man?

- Sh*t.

- What's the name of that movie you just did?

Uh, "Jesse James."

No, not that one.

The hot one.

"Jesse James" was kinda wack.

What was the other one?

- "Gone Baby Gone."

- That was the sh*t right there.

What's up?

Whatch'all doing?

Obviously you had great success

in f***ing film and music.

And what I want it

is to be something...

whew!

Do you have money though?

Do you have money to do this?

Like how much?

I mean, I have a little studio,

do you know?

Like in my-- I have a garage.

I got Pro Tools set up.

See, that's the motherfucking problem.

When people try to do things,

they don't do it the way

they do it for their own industries.

When you go make a movie, you don't go--

you got money to make a movie, right?

See, you can't be-- you can't come

into this sh*t disrespectfully.

Because when I want to make a movie,

I'm gonna come with some money.

Oh right. No, I don't--

I don't-- that's the thing--

- Do you have money to do this?

- I'm coming from a pure--

I'm coming from-- what I want it to be

is like a place of true exploration.

Can you do that in acting?

Well, I do.

That's the thing, as an actor

you're shielded--

it's a different-- you know--

I mean, you know this.

Christ.

No, that's not how they do

the thing-- lights, right?

- Lights, motherf***er, lights.

- Yes, how much?

- Craft services.

- Yeah, that costs a lot.

Trailers.

Makeup, hair, D.P.

- That's a good point. I get it.

- Gaffers.

Same thing--

studio, engineer...

- I got it.

- ...me.

- Well-- yeah, you.

- Me.

- The speakers.

- I get it.

Do you have any money?

Um, well,

how much you need?

How much you got?

I'm excited to hear

this stuff though.

I want to hear if you're really getting busy

or you're playing around.

- You know what I'm saying?

- Yeah. I'm ready.

- We're ready.

- Pleasure to meet you.

You too.

All right, well, look,

I have Carline's numbers,

so then

- you'll let me know when you're in L.A.?

- Yeah.

- I'll be there in a couple of days.

- Okay. Larry, get up.

My album is out.

It's called "Intuition."

It's the #3 album

in the country right now.

My last name is Foxx,

my first name is Jamie.

My middle name

is Motherfucking.

When you see me out--

when you see me out, just say,

"There goes

Jamie Motherfucking Foxx."

What?

Jamie Motherfucking Foxx.

- Say it-- Jamie Motherfucking Foxx.

- Jamie Motherfucking Foxx.

- Say it--

- Jamie Motherfucking Foxx.

Joaquin Motherfucking Phoenix.

Joaquin

Motherfucking Phoenix.

Joaquin Motherfucking

Phoenix.

I'm not getting my dick out

for these two.

It's Joaquin to talk to Patrick.

I need to talk to him now

because Ben Stiller's at my house.

Dude, what the f***?

I mean, I told you that I--

this-- I'm not gonna

do the-- dude!

First of all, I retired.

All right, dude, let me

clean up the f***ing mess.

I'm gonna try not to make us

all look like a**holes,

especially you for putting me

in the situation.

Good to see you, dude.

Why would I want to do this?

Um, just 'cause...

you know, I--

I don't know.

I just feel like it's-- you know.

I love the relationship

in there

- and I just thought the--

- Ours?

- Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah.

- Or our characters?

What is the character?

- Ivan. You-- Ivan.

- Ivan?

So you didn't--

you haven't read it yet?

Well, we--

Larry was telling me about it.

But I-- didn't you say

I was Greenberg?

- Who's Greenberg?

- I am Greenberg.

Oh great!

Thanks, Lar.

You're Greenberg.

Okay, my bad.

Oh, I see.

Oh sh*t.

And I was complaining

about that character.

I was like-- okay.

No, so I'm Ivan-- er, I mean not--

I'm not gonna do--

I don't want it to be--

I don't want this to be weird at all

or anything 'cause,

you know.

Ben, I've been with you

in f***ing meetings before.

- This is not how you talk and you're acting all--

- No.

These guys have seen the worst of me,

they've seen the best.

- They've seen the honest me.

- I'm not trying to act any way.

- I'm honestly not trying to act any way.

- You were doing Ben Stiller.

- No, I'm not! Dude, this is who I am.

- You are.

- That's who you are?

- Yeah.

I'm-- what do I have to do,

put like a shirt on my head

and act weird?

I'm not try--

I'm trying to act weird?

Dude, all the time--

you're doing a movie where

it's like a f***ing cat will be in a full-body cast.

That kind of humor.

Who gives a sh*t?

Like how is that f***ing funny?

That a f***ing cat breaks

all of its goddamned bones

and has to be put in a cast?

That's funny?

- Do you have a tissue?

- It is pretty funny.

- Um, honestly--

- I have a tissue somewhere.

Sorry.

Just-- it's a dog.

It's the dog?

Yeah. Um...

No no, the dog-- he's talking about

"Something About Mary."

I just found out it was--

this-- this house cost more

than I have.

That means if I don't

make any bread,

six months

I lose this joint.

Puff said he was going to call

in a couple of days.

It's been almost three weeks now

and they won't return my calls.

It'll sound desperate

if I keep calling, so...

we're gonna spin this

and make it look

like it was my fault and then they

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