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I'm Still Here Page #9
the new music career?
The new hip-hop career,
when will we see that take off?
When can we--
'cause we want to be there.
Uh, well, I'd love to come
on the show and perform...
- Yeah.
- ...when it's done.
But I'm just-- I'm working on it,
you know?
- It's a--
- You know, that seems unlikely.
Can you-- can you set up
the clip for us, Joaquin?
I don't--
Are you kidding?
Are you serious?
Does the maniacal laughter--
I don't know what the clip is.
You don't know
what the clip is?
It's you and-- maybe a scene
with you and Gwyneth Paltrow?
All right,
you're doing fine.
Thanks.
Uh, high praise coming from you.
- Is that really-- that's the--
- We're having fun.
- That's fun?
- We're having fun. Just relax, seriously.
I'll come to your house
and chew gum.
- Okay, I don't have to chew gum.
- No, just relax.
- I won't chew the gum. I won't chew the gum.
- Well!
And, Joaquin, I'm sorry
you couldn't be here tonight.
Uh, the film
is "Two Lovers."
Opens Friday
in selected cities.
Thank you very much
and good luck in your new career.
I hope that goes well for you.
We'll be right back
with model...
Oh my God.
I don't know,
I don't know.
Oh no.
Oh no.
Sir, could you just
pull over for a sec?
Dude, just pull over
for a sec.
I gotta f***ing
walk around a little.
God-- f***ing--
I don't f***ing know!
F***ing wall right here.
Goddamn f***ing wall.
I f***ed it.
I just f***ing made
an announcement.
I said I'll never go back to acting
and now I can't.
You know what? I'm miserable.
F***ing music sucks.
And I didn't even f***ing know it.
I'm so stupid.
Oh, bullshit, dude.
It f***ing sucks.
I'm just going to be
a goddamn joke forever.
I can't believe it.
Why'd I do that? Why'd I do that?
F***.
I'm f***ed.
I'm f***ed. I'm f***ed.
I f***ed
my f***ing life, man.
I f***ed my life.
Oh sh*t.
Sh*t. I can't go to this
f***ing premier, dude.
How am I gonna go?
F*** 'em.
I gotta go to
the f***ing premier.
Mr. Phoenix, over here.
Mr. Phoenix, right in front of you,
please, sir.
I'm shooting.
You f***ing
son of a b*tch.
Are you f***ing
kidding me?
Where's Larry?
I gotta go.
Where's Larry?
The doors don't f***ing open.
Can you get the f***ing door open?
It doesn't open.
It's just a little joke.
I'm the f***ing joke?
You're the joke!
I'm doing more than what anyone
f***ing expects!
And then-- and you literally
are f***ing off.
When people really see what happens,
Not at me.
'Cause I saw the f***ing history, dude.
I know you watched the "Letterman" thing
'cause you think it's so f***ing funny.
You're a broken alkie.
You're a f***ing piece of sh*t.
I sh*t on your face, man.
Honestly, I sh*t
on your f***ing face.
I am really sorry
that it's gone this way.
I know that things
have been getting weird
between us over the past
f***ing few months.
What's been weird
between us?
Things have gotten weird between us, dude,
and I am sorry.
I am sorry for my part in it.
I am sorry.
But you can't f***ing go on treating me
like I'm an a**hole all the time.
You know what?
You are an a**hole.
Joaq, you cannot keep
talking to me this way...
- You're an a**hole.
- ...the whole f***ing time.
You're an a**hole.
- There is some part of you...
- I don't know how come you see--
- ...that is enviously jealous.
- Oh, dude, please!
- Listen to me!
- I am listening to you!
Well, not when
you're talking like that!
You don't have to be
the f***ing exorcist, dude.
Just f***ing talk
You think you know everything
that's happening, but you don't.
Listen, you've got to understand
one thing, okay?
That's why
you don't see it, dude.
Antony, I'm telling you
I'm serious.
- Dude, don't f***ing hit me.
- I'll knock your f***ing--
and I'll sh*t on your f***ing face.
F*** you.
You want to test it, do it.
You've sh*t on my f***ing life
enough times.
What can I do for you?
Not f*** things up!
Not f*** up my f***ing life.
Not make me look
like I'm a f***ing joke.
I know that sometimes
I f***ing get out of f***ing place.
I'm an intense guy.
I'm a passionate guy.
And that bleeds through into my life,
but that's because I do something.
Know what I mean? Whether I was acting
or whatever it is,
I give myself to something.
What's your bit?
What is your bit?
I mean, it's almost comical.
Like I literally was angry
and now I almost-- like,
I feel sorry for you, dude.
You're a bitless dude.
I have f***ing bits.
What the f*** do you have?
Haven't you seen me?
You've seen the f***ing stuff I do,
you see how people are affected by it.
You know that I affect people
in a f***ing positive way.
So what I'm saying is what are you
gonna do with your f***ing life?
You took too long.
That's what I'm saying, dude.
You're not f***ing assertive.
I agree.
I don't need to have this conversation.
F*** the peace, f*** the bullshit.
I'm trying to do you a favor.
I'm talking to you as a friend
and I'm trying to do
other people a favor to see this,
to know what it's like,
to understand what I go through.
They don't know
what it's like, dude.
Did you have to go
on f***ing Letterman?
How could I possibly concentrate
when I'm dealing with--
- They don't want me on Letterman.
- Excuse me!
When I'm f***ing dealing
with f***ing Diddy
and his fullness,
his idea of what's right?
how f***ing hard it is.
I came in here to talk
and now, you know what, dude?
Think of a f***ing bit
worthwhile.
But f*** off anyways, dude.
Honestly, Ant, I'm through with you.
Do whatever the f*** you want.
And I hope one day
I see a bit that's worthwhile
that you were involved in.
Although I find that
highly unlikely.
You want a bit?
I'll give you a bit.
Oh the f*** are you--?!
Oh f***, oh!
What the f*** are you
f***ing doing?
- Oh!
- The f*** you doing?
F***!
Lar!
- What the f***?
- What the f*** is that?
Is that human
f***ing sh*t, dude?
Did someone just
human sh*t on me?
Let me see.
Oh man, f***.
- Jesus.
- I'm gonna f***ing kill him.
Get the f*** out of here.
Get out of here.
Please welcome
Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller.
Cinematographers
are the unsung heroes of movies.
They live and breathe
shadow and light.
Their work is the bedrock
of every production.
This is ridiculous.
You're chewing gum at the Oscars.
Okay, I'll take it out.
- What's going on with you?
- Nothing.
I just want to retire from being
a funny guy, that's all.
You look like you work
at a Hasidic meth lab.
What do you want to do?
- What do you want to do?
- I don't know.
Maybe...
cinematography.
The documentaries
nominated here today
could not be more different.
And yet as we face anxiety
and uncertainty at the dawn of this--
will you shut the f*** up?
It's f***ing distracting.
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"I'm Still Here" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/i'm_still_here_10554>.
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