I Call First

Okay, it's eight minutes

before the big time for news!

Yes, sir, it's WCAG here,

with 64 beautiful degrees out.

Okay, now.

-What do you say, Joe?

-Hello, Curtie.

There he is.

Let's go, Curtie.

How are you?

-Let me look at your cards.

-Sure.

Thank you.

lt's a good hand.

What about you, Gaga?

Can l look at your cards?

-Yeah.

-Thank you, Gaga.

You lose.

What's wrong, Joey, huh?

You lose because you're playing

with my money.

-Joey! Joey, cut it out!

-You like to steal?

-Don't!

-You like to steal? You wanna steal?

-You steal from your mother, not me.

-l'm sorry!

Your priest you tell you're sorry to.

Me, you don't tell you're sorry to!

l don't give absolution.

Me, you don't steal from.

How was l to know--?

-Never again, right?

-Right!

-Never again.

-All right.

-Joey, l swear on my mother--

-Don't swear to me.

l don't want swearing.

Just don't steal no more.

l'm warning you, the next time you do,

l go right to your brothers.

-You know what happens then, right?

-Okay, okay.

No more aggravation. Have a drink.

We'll forget about this.

Now, that's enough.

One thing l don't understand,

why do you call him Gaga?

Why do l call him Gaga?

Because he's stupid, that's why.

You can look at it if you want to.

No, no. That's all right.

l was just looking.

Oh, l know.

But if you'd like to read it, you can.

l'm not annoyed.

l just noticed the picture

of what's his name over there.

-Wayne. You know, John Wayne.

-Oh, yes.

Yeah, but that isn't

an American magazine. . .

. . .and it just seemed funny to me.

You know what l mean?

Yes.

-What kind of magazine is that?

-French.

That doesn't look French.

Do you read French?

No.

Well, just a few words.

They should have

an English version, though.

Yeah, like the ltalian movies,

when they dub it.

No, it just threw me, because l've seen

foreign magazines before. . .

. . .but, like, the ltalian ones, you can

tell right away what kind they are.

-You know what l mean?

-Oh, yes, like Oggi.

Excuse me?

Oggi. That's an ltalian magazine.

-O-G-G-l.

-Oh, yeah.

-That one that looks like Life, yeah.

-Right.

-''Oggi,'' that means ''today,'' you know?

-Yes, l know.

lt's like The Today Show.

l think it comes out every week,

you know, like Life.

lt's like a news thing, you know.

They make it. . .

-. . .like a type of news thing.

-Yes.

So that's really

a French magazine, huh?

-Yes, l'm afraid it is.

-Well. . . .

How the hell did they ever get ahold

of The Searchers?

The what?

The Searchers. lt's a movie made about,

you know, 1 1 years ago.

That picture of John Wayne

is from that movie.

l don't seem to remember it.

Well, you know, with John Wayne.

Oh, that other guy was in it.

What's his name? He. . . .

He played Christ three years ago

in some movie.

l don't think l know it.

-Oh, was he Swedish?

-No, no. American.

-Roland. . . .

-Recent picture?

-Just a few years ago.

-lt's a Western.

Yeah.

-Oh, you mean Jeffrey Hunter?

-That's right. Hunter, right.

Oh, now you remember the picture?

No, l don't.

lt was in color.

-Nope.

-No.

Well.

Wait, you know what? Natalie Wood did

a small part in that, one of her first parts.

She had a big scene at the end there

with Hunter, you know.

She comes running down the desert

over to Hunter, and she says:

''Unnt-meah! Go, Martin!

Go! Unnt-meah! Go! Go! ''

She's trying to get him to go, you know?

l don't remember it.

Well, l'll tell you,

you missed a good picture.

Sorry.

Oh, there was one scene in that movie

that was a classic.

You know, the chief of the tribe,

his name is Cicatrice, Spanish for ''scar. ''

He talks English to John Wayne,

and Wayne says:

''You talk good English.

Somebody teach you?'' But real nasty.

And then when Wayne talks Comanche,

not Comanche, but Comanche. . .

. . .to Scar, Scar says:

''You talk good Comanche.

Somebody teach you?'' But. . . .

-Sounds like a nasty fellow.

-Who?

-The man with the-- The lndian.

-Cicatrice, Spanish for ''scar. '' Yeah.

He was more nasty

than Wayne could ever get.

But then again,

he was a bad guy.

There were a lot of nasty Comanches

in that picture.

-Nasty picture.

-Well, then again. . .

. . .John Wayne could get pretty

nasty too, when he wanted to be.

Wait, was that the picture where Jeffrey

Hunter is supposed to be trading rugs. . .

-. . .and he trades for an lndian bride?

-Right!

That's the picture.

-That was a good picture.

-Good? That picture was great.

Well, l'm not used to admitting

l like Westerns.

Oh, yeah. Why not, huh?

Everybody should like Westerns.

Solve everybody's problems

if they liked Westerns.

-Okay, l like Westerns!

-Okay, then.

Man, that was some picture.

Some picture.

Here. Take the magazine

and look at it.

-Oh, no.

-Come on. Go ahead.

-l don't wanna.

-l don't mind.

-Go ahead.

-All right.

Thanks.

You have to give it back, though.

-l swear to God l'll give it back.

-Okay.

You come around a lot?

Got people here?

No, no. This is the first time.

l just came for the ride.

-The ride? What ride?

-The ferry.

Oh, no. You mean to tell me

you do this for fun?

Yeah. Why?

Well, l just don't look at this

as being a cruise, you know?

l had to pick up this package

at my grandmother's, you know?

Oh, that's nice.

Well, it's not really all that nice.

l gotta bring it back.

l have no car so l had to take the ferry.

You know, the one that goes

across the river to New York.

lt doesn't sound

like you take the ferry often.

You can bet your life l don't.

Don't you like Staten lsland?

Well, l've got nothing against it

personally, you know.

But, really, it kind of shortens

your breath. The air is lousy.

If you're not used to it,

it can get you.

That's right. l'm not used to it.

l don't like tropical climates.

There's one way around it.

Go to down to Canal Street and

Broadway, into an army surplus store.

You pick up a couple of gas masks, get

halfway across the river, put them on.

-You like being stared at?

-l'd stare right back.

-You would?

-That's right.

Okay. l don't think l'd do it.

l tell you, l once saw

this guy back in 1 960.

You know that big snowfall we had?

Right in the middle of 1 4th

and Broadway, this guy's playing golf.

-Golf?

-l swear to God.

-Right in the street?

-ln the middle.

Wait a second, he says,

''The trouble with the world today. . .

. . .is that if a guy wants to play golf

in the street. . .

-. . .people stare at him. ''

-l don't believe you.

Would l--? l wouldn't lie to you.

You know how those knickers,

whatever you call them, and the hat. . .?

-The whole outfit? The whole thing?

-Right. Golf clubs, yeah.

That's crazy.

Yeah, well.

lt's kind of nice, though.

-Why?

-The guy did what he wanted to do, golf.

l guess so.

Should you always do

what you want to do?

Yeah, l think so.

-Do you?

-Yeah.

I don 't know, I hadn 't thought about it.

I guess so.

Thank you very much.

Ten minutes l've been talking.

Nobody pays me any attention, right?

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