I Do... Until I Don't Page #10

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I didn't think

about it.

Don't go--

don't go till I'm ready,

till I know you're going.

Okay. There you go.

Okay.

Never seen

anything cuter.

You're like

the cutest cosmonaut

there ever was.

Okay, what do I hold on to?

Me!

And your life.

Keep your hands--

hey, Noah,

do you think that--

are you sure that

there was no alcoholic

in the, um, sugar thing

that they had,

that they were serving?

I don't know

what the hell

was in that stuff.

And that's why

i didn't drink

any of it.

No! You didn't?

No. I didn't.

We were supposed to

be together in that.

I don't drink anything

from that house

'cause it could be

goat pee or who knows?

Who makes it at 165?

That doesn't even--

what's happening?

What are you doing?

I'm trying to make

these bagel bites.

You want some help

with that?

So much to read.

I just want to admit

something to you.

Okay.

Just-- I want to be

completely frank.

Lay it on me.

I think I might be

a little bit buzzed

because--

not really drunk or anything,

but just a wee bit buzzed.

Because honestly,

i, um-- I want you

to be up here with me.

It's so fun.

Come, come, come, come.

I am jealous

of where you are

right now.

I have some

catching up to do.

I know!

I'm going to get some glasses.

Let me guess.

You must be quilton.

Yeah.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Thank you so much

for bailing me out,

Mr. burger.

Please,

call me Harvey.

All right, Harvey.

Okay.

I'm so embarrassed that

we had to meet like this.

Ah, don't you even

worry about it.

Here we go.

Hop on in.

How 'bout that?

That's the--

that's your ride?

That's it.

Sweet, right?

Yeah.

I'm afraid

of motorcycles.

You actually--

really?

Yeah.

I mean, yeah.

Okay. Tell you what.

I promise I won't do

any wheelies today.

Please don't.

Yeah, don't--

please don't do that.

No, I'm kidding.

'Cause you can't.

Okay.

That was a joke.

You can't do-- okay.

It's just like a car,

except there's no roof.

And it's not a car.

My heart is on high.

How can I be so blessed

that my subjects be so ripe

for their noble demise?

-Mel?

-I'm right here.

Is the boom operator

here yet?

A professional person

should be tardy for no one.

He's been here

for 20 minutes.

Good.

Let him wait 10 more.

Time is dictated

by its leader.

You look

like the hippie actor

we hired who bombed.

Yeah, it's him.

Sorry.

Why is he here

for the boom operator

position?

I majored

in artistic psychology.

Mel, I'd like

a sidebar.

This makes me

very uncomfortable.

He's very intuitive.

I don't work

with attractive people.

I'm questioning

his competence.

He said he would do it

for free if you give him

a signed copy of tween jungle.

He saw tween jungle?

Welcome to the team.

Right on. Wow. Thank you.

Um, next time,

more coverage on

the wardrobe selection.

Oh, nipple. Sorry.

Both sides.

I didn't mean

to do that.

Yeah.

Good.

Famed documentarian

Vivian prudeck is here

for an upcoming project

concerning the surroundings

of her theories.

Look at this.

Hey.

- Huh?

- Oh-ho!

-Nice, mom. Very impressive.

-She's a pro.

Just drive safe.

Oh, yeah. Very good.

Have fun!

How are you?

Excellent.

Okay, good. Thank you.

We have plenty.

So pass this--

do you know

what you're doing?

No, no.

No, no, no, no,

no, no, no.

Oh, okay.

Crate of eggs.

Crate of eggs.

Baby!

Hey, dad!

Hi, mama!

There's our little minnow.

Oh.

You all set?

Mm-hmm.

Ladies and gentlemen,

kindly welcome

Ms. Vivian prudeck.

Hello. Hello. Hi.

Happy emancipation day.

Thank you all so much.

As I think

most of you know,

my documentary project,

I do until I don't,

examines the idea

that marriage should be

a seven-year contract

with an option to renew.

Today's presentation

is not so much a performance

as it is a declaration.

In the words of Dr. coontz,

we should ban

all performance weddings

to begin with.

I'm not insinuating

that the idea--

mmm. That's where they are?

I'm saying if you build

a union on fantasy--

yeah, it's that lady.

Then it's impossible

to maintain.

I'm simply proposing

marital reform.

Reform is

an evolutionary privilege.

Uh, what's so bad

about marriage anyway?

Well, I think the convention

has merited a slightly

more complex analysis

than just saying it's "bad."

I have a question.

Yes?

Um, life is hard enough.

Why not have a human constant

to go through it with?

What kind of constant

are you referring to, sir?

'Cause the only constant

that humans are capable of

is that of

a philandering nature,

Mr. constant.

-Care to comment?

-I don't know what

you're talking about.

Oh, you don't know

what you're talking about?

Wow. Guess what, Noah.

I have something

i really want to talk

to you about right now.

Okay.

After all of these years,

and after everything that

we have been through,

how dare you?

What part of you

could so flagrantly...

Continue to love me wholly

despite my flaws?

Aw!

Because of your flaws,

Alice.

I'm your constant.

I am your constant.

No, no, no. Wait!

I'll be your constant.

And I will be yours.

-Yeah?

-Shh! Alice!

-You promised. You said--

-oh, come off it, Vivian.

Look, no one's cheating

on anyone.

And no one's getting

a divorce.

Vivian, if I may?

And I think I speak on behalf

of everybody here.

You don't have to get married,

but let others work it out.

Don't make it worse.

We've got enough problems.

Come on, people.

You don't all believe this,

do you?

People only partake

in open relationships

for the bragging rights.

Yeah, but you're in

a bloody open relationship.

Yeah, but we've

been monogamous for,

like, six years now.

-You're a liar

and a conformist.

-Hey, what about penguins?

- They're monogamous!

- -Yeah!

Really? Penguins?

You have all

been brainwashed!

It's a ruse! "Ew! Scary!"

No, it's not scary!

Polyamory is our birthright.

-Hey, Fanny?

-Yes, Zander?

- Will you marry me?

- -What?

Yes.

No! No!

You can't just-- no, you can't!

You can't just ask her

to marry you!

Whoo!

Brother-in-law!

Milly! Oh, my god!

What?

We gotta

get out of here!

What? What?

Milly's going into labor.

My daughter's going

to have a baby.

Now?

Yeah, now. Now.

Why would she

do that now?

What?

It's on our way.

On your way? Really?

We'll follow you.

What are you doing,

you animal? Put me down!

Put me down, please!

What are you doing,

kissing me like that?

Stop talking.

Egon!

It's quite

a nice name, egon.

You're gonna be fine.

This is really it.

So you step down.

We're just gonna get

the keys.

- Whoa, whoa.

- Go to it, babe.

-Wait a second.

Where is the damn car?

The car is in the shop.

You knew that.

You're welcome certainly

to take our car.

That's not a car even!

Sidecar has room.

I'll get her there fast.

No!

Oh, that is significant!

You guys, I think

we should just stay here.

Is that a possibility?

What's going on?

What?

We'll do it in the house.

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