I Do... Until I Don't Page #2

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Don't order me around,

Richard.

Is she there,

the horse-training munter?

Name's pippa.

Oh, no, sorry.

The equestrian wrangler.

Don't answer that.

I want you to come home.

I miss you.

Well, I don't care!

I think you do.

No, I don't give a toss.

And neither do you.

How's the project going?

It's going very well,

actually.

Is it then?

Is that a lighter I hear?

You're not smoking?

No, I'm not smoking.

I can hear you

smoking.

It's not good for your face.

Currently I've got too many

couples to choose from.

Is that right?

Okay. Good for you, girl.

No, it's good. It's therapeutic.

Is it then?

All these strangers

reminding me

why you're so f***ing

predictable!

How's Richard?

He sounds really well,

actually.

1.4 is more

than reasonable. Period.

After all, comma,

won't it feel great

to finally get rid of

that

gator-infested property--

question mark.

Again, comma, so...

Sorry about

your bichon frise.

Exclamation point.

Must have been

a horrific sight.

Exclamation point.

Exclamation point.

Um, if you wou--

ah.

Hi.

Mmm-mmm-mmm,

mmm-mmm-mmm.

Is it too sexy?

Almost too sexy.

Harvey, am i

a gay man in the '60s

looking to bone?

-All right, fine.

-I mean, come on.

You know what?

You wanna be a goddamn pill,

be a goddamn pill.

I'd rather take one

than be one.

What?

What did you just say?

I said

I'd rather take one

than be one.

Why does everything gotta be

a quip, a little dig?

It's-- it's--

it's unpleasant.

I'll tell you that.

Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm,

mmm-mmm-mmm.

Oh, my god, please.

Are you going to take

the helmet off for dinner?

I don't know.

Is it safe?

What?

I don't know if it's safe

to take it off.

Because I feel like--

we're in a fricking

restaurant, Harvey.

Danger zone here.

I might need it

for some sort of protection.

Well, just so you know,

you do look

mentally challenged.

Well, that's fine.

Because you know what?

It's the opposite of sexy.

Being married to you

is challenging

in so many ways--

mentally, emotionally,

physically--

that, to me,

it seems fitting

that I would look challenged,

sitting here with you.

-Mmm, I'm sure.

-Okay.

I am gonna

take a leak.

Order me

the French dip.

Hello.

I'm so sorry

to bother you.

Two French dips,

side, creamed spinach--

-no, I'm not a waitress.

-Okay, well, I'm broke.

-And I'm not interested

in what you're selling.

-I'm not soliciting anything.

Okay, well, I don't think

you think I'm a hooker,

unless you're an idiot

or a very hopeful lesbian.

Oh-- oh, god.

I didn't know

you were lesbians.

No, no, we're not lesbians,

nor hopefuls.

Well, actually, she is.

I'm not.

-Hi. I'm Vivian prudeck.

-Hello.

I'm in the area

making a documentary

for BBC films

about the concept

that marriage--

how much?

Should be a contract

that expires after seven years--

married 31.

How much?

Well,

it's quite a modest budget.

But it's more the cachet

of participa--

20k, five percent.

3,000, two percent,

and that is more than generous.

Seventeen and three,

and I'll throw in

some domestic abuse.

Four and 2.5,

and that's my final offer,

with the domestic abuse.

Twelve and four,

and I'll give you

a trial separation

at some point mid-shoot.

-You're bluffing.

-Bluffing is for children.

Don't insult me.

I'll give you 10,000

and three percent

if you deliver

all of the above

and... Divorce papers.

You've been listening

to widespread panic radio.

To build your custom blinds,

say "yes" to

rightnowblinds.Com.

It's just

seamless and easy.

There it is.

What's wrong?

Our accountant says

we have to file.

For what?

Uh, for chapter 13.

So, uh--

but don't worry.

Lenny says

it's just to reorganize

so we don't have to

lose the house.

Lose the house?

What?

Yeah.

No, that's--

that's crazy.

I mean, i--

I didn't know

it was that bad.

Yeah, well...

Why didn't--

i-i-it is what it is.

My god!

I mean, Jesus!

Gosh, Noah!

God, I really think

that's unfair.

I wish you would

have told me. I--

well, don't panic.

I'm panicking.

I should panic.

I feel sick.

I feel really warm.

The bankruptcy is to protect us

from further credit issues.

Oh, my god!

It's just to reorganize.

We can't bring a child--

you're talking about

bringing a child into poverty?

Thank you.

No, thank you.

One thing at a time.

Okay.

My god, I feel so frivolous.

I got my hair done today.

You can get your hair done.

What was it, 30, 40 bucks?

No, it was, like, $120.

What?

Yeah!

What did they even do?

It looks the same.

It's low-lights.

It's a... whole thing.

It's like highlights.

You know highlights.

Sure.

So it's like that,

but it just...

The whole point of it is

that you don't really notice.

It's very subtle.

But there's a gleam.

Jesus.

Then-- then yes.

Okay?

Yes?

How about no hair treatments

that cost over a hundred bucks

and result in nothing?

Gleam? How does hair gleam?

Yeah, it was a bad call.

I just didn't realize...

Where we were.

Huh?

Mmm, o-okay.

Hi.

Is that foreplay?

'Cause I feel

like I missed

something crucial.

Well, you were

all ready before,

and so I was just--

just feel like

we need to connect,

so i--

yeah, well,

it just--

hi.

Hi. Um...

No, I mean,

i appreciate it.

I-i-i just didn't know

you were gonna--

i-I'm--

I'm-- I'm already--

i-i took care of myself.

I already did it.

What?

When?

Well, like,

just now.

I didn't hear anything.

How do you do that?

I didn't even

feel the bed shake.

When I do it myself,

it's really...

Silent and efficient.

Geez.

Well, where's

all the stuff?

I-i don't know.

You don't know?

I mean, it's on a shirt

or something down there.

Hey, um, Fanny and Zander

are in for tomorrow night,

by the way.

Why bring up my sister

when we're talking

about your penis?

Well, you're the one

who's obsessed about Fanny,

not me.

What are you doing?

Watching gif's

on tumblr.

Good night.

Um, excuse me.

Uh, hi. Sir?

Yes?

How may I help you?

Yes, I was just--

I'm a really big fan

of Vivian prudeck's--

oh, excuse my bodyguard.

Hello.

Hi. Hi. Wow.

Sorry. I saw you speak,

and I just was really

interested in your project.

I see by your wedding band

that you're either

married or separated.

I am, yeah.

We are married.

It's coming up

seven years now.

Mel, get the release!

Yeah, I just--

and I don't mean

to be gauche, but, um,

how much does this

sort of thing pay, or...

What's your name,

my darling?

Oh, my goodness.

I'm so sorry, Vivian prudeck.

I'm Alice. Alice brewing.

If you'll allow me, Alice,

I'd like to ask you

a personal question.

Oh. Okay. Yeah.

Are you happy?

Sorry. My profession

sometimes encourages me

to overstep my mark.

That's quite all right.

I understand.

Happy? Yes.

We're very happy.

We went to college together.

I was a freshman.

And then took some time off.

We had great faith

in our love though, so we

did eventually get married.

That's fantastic.

Well, take care.

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