I Do... Until I Don't Page #3
Well done, you.
Oh, thank you.
Mel, let's jog on!
There's a used
Porsche dealership
up there.
You could get
some talent there.
Excuse me. I just really--
I was excited to hear
about your project--
look, lady,
I'm very glad
that you're happy.
But my mission is to unveil
the archaic horseshit
that is matrimony.
Oh. Uh...
The last thing I need
is to waste my budget
on a couple of lovebirds.
Hang on just a minute.
Noah and I have all kinds
of problems. We're not perfect.
We've been trying to have a baby
for the past four years.
Our sex life
is purely result-based.
And I can only orgasm
when I have to urinate.
Sweetheart, these issues
are amateur hour. Okay?
I've got a thesis to prove.
Um... sometimes I think
he wants to have sex
with my sister.
Is she local?
Yes. And she rarely
wears a bra.
Okay, I'm gonna let you
do this on trial.
Really?
-But I'm not paying you.
-Well... oh.
Um, look, I think
to dedicate our time we should
be compensated monetarily.
Uh, Mel,
start the car.
Okay, fine. Fine.
I-it's okay.
Mel, the release form.
Deal. Thank you so much,
Vivian prudeck.
Gosh! Vivian prudeck!
This is amazing.
Um-- yes.
Okay, I'll sign here.
Listen, I majored in art history
at tulane, so I kinda know,
you know, what you do.
I'm actually part of
the vero beach
cultural association.
I am so excited.
Just so you can call us
and tell us when to start.
Thank you. Great.
just let me know.
I'm always here to help.
Even if you want, you know,
just a little tour around vero.
Um, I've done
this sort of thing,
but can you just explain
to Harvey?
I don't think he knows
about the camera.
Of course.
You just have to look at me.
I got it.
It's just an impromptu chat,
so don't look in the camera.
I understand.
At all.
Just ignore the camera.
I understand.
- All right.
- Fantastic.
What was the question?
I'll ask you that
again.
Um, how did it all start?
Uh--
well--
we met--
it was 1985, in Manhattan.
And, uh...
We were both heart fans.
Mmm.
That is true.
Dreamboat Annie.
Flawless. Love that album.
Sometimes I think
that's the only thing
we have left in common.
I don't know about that.
When we met
she was beautiful.
And she is beauti--
but she used to
wear these shoes,
they were, like,
these green,
snakeskin-y pumps.
Oh, god.
You make me sound
like a hooker, Harvey.
Well, I don't think
that's what I'm saying, but...
Look, I had no time
for any of that.
I was a single mom.
I was hustling my ass off.
Getting laid
or anything like that
was just an afterthought.
But he was
very sexually
aggressive.
I-- well, she was hot.
And we were--
it was mutual.
We were hot for each other.
There was a lot of heat.
That's how I got her
to marry me in the first place.
I was a champ in the sack.
Okay. Wow. So modest.
I'm--
let's see.
Then we got married.
Then we got married.
Then we got married.
Yes.
That changed a little.
-The first 10 years, that was--
-they were hard.
Just
a lot of pressure.
Well, there was
She was miserable at work.
She was dragging her feet.
She was in
wait! No.
I loved my job.
I just--
i struggled--
balancing everything.
So we decided to make a change
and we moved down here
to be with all the other Jews.
I'm not... Jewish. I'm not--
I don't think
you have to underline that.
But also--
also...
Because cybil's daughter milly
lives in Miami.
-That was
a big incentive to move.
-That's not the only reason.
I didn't say
it was the only reason.
I read that article in redbook
about prince Charles
playing Polo in vero,
as a very nice
place to live.
So we moved
to be near prince Charles.
That's why we're here.
The point is, the man
can go anywhere in the world,
and he chose to go to vero.
-He's here a lot.
-Wouldn't call him a neighbor.
And what about
the concept of marriage
as a seven-year contract,
you walk your own separate way
and that's the end of it?
Yeah. Interesting.
Hmm.
Don't think it's a bad idea,
to be honest. I mean, uh...
Cyb-- I don't--
truly?
Sometimes I'm amazed
that cybil and i
made it this far.
I think it's valid.
I really do.
Is that too harsh?
No. We're just here
to tell the truth, Harvey, so...
Okay.
Wait. I'll just get
the salad dressing.
Okay.
You okay?
Mmm! Yes. Ah.
So stupid.
You sure?
Yeah.
I can't tell
what makes you
testier,
entertaining
or the pending arrival
of your sister.
Well, the combination
isn't great.
-Hello!
-Hey!
How are you?
Good to see you, zenith.
Fanny. You look--
no. I love you.
I've been fasting.
Hi.
Peace and blessings.
Peace and blessings.
You've been fasting?
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Well, can you eat then,
or...
'Cause I have made a casserole
for everyone.
Hi!
Good to see ya.
Good to see you.
Good to see you.
-Welcome.
We just got some new channels.
Oh, no, no.
Shh. He doesn't know
it exists.
Still he doesn't know?
He's gonna find out eventually,
don't you think?
-Because he's older now,
he could maybe--
-you'll see when you have kids.
-We just don't honor it
as a concept.
No, he doesn't know
what TV is.
Well...
Oh! Gifts!
We come bearing gifts
yes!
Our gifts.
Oh, boy!
Gifts!
- Is this straight from the free thinkers workshop?
- -Yes, it's incredible!
Creative comrades
using their wares,
making their inventions.
It's so cool.
-Best thing we ever did was
moving here to be close to you.
Can we use your shower?
What? Why?
We had to turn
-The welding machine
spazzed out on--
-while we were making the gift.
Which you are gonna love.
-With the electrical stuff,
it went all cuckoo.
-Sounds dangerous.
Yeah, but it's making this
mineral formation on the cement
that's just really beautiful.
It's like this amazing,
poetic, wet bruise
on our floor.
A happy accident.
You got it.
Who's ready
for a shower?
I'm gonna!
Shower!
Shower!
Thank you!
You guys freshen up.
We'll be chillin'.
How great
are they?
They're great.
So funny.
They're so fun.
- Yes, present time.
- The presents!
What have you
brought us?
--Open it!
Is it these things
that are the presents?
-No, we need those back.
-Oh. Okay.
Okay,
that's the first part.
- Keep going. Keep going.
- -What is that?
There you go.
I'm still confused.
You made this?
Yes.
Well--
whoa.
Ah.
Whoa!
It's an at-home
agave spirit-maker.
A--
get outta town!
You're welcome.
Get outta here!
I love it!
Wh-- how does it--
what do you do?
H-how does it,
um--
oh, it's easy.
All you do is, you get
the blue agave cactus
from Mexico.
Once you get the plant,
you take the heart out of it.
You want to heat it up
to about 116 degrees.
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Submitted on August 05, 2018
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"I Do... Until I Don't" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/i_do..._until_i_don't_10476>.
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