I Do... Until I Don't Page #3

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Well done, you.

Oh, thank you.

Mel, let's jog on!

There's a used

Porsche dealership

up there.

You could get

some talent there.

Excuse me. I just really--

I was excited to hear

about your project--

look, lady,

I'm very glad

that you're happy.

But my mission is to unveil

the archaic horseshit

that is matrimony.

Oh. Uh...

The last thing I need

is to waste my budget

on a couple of lovebirds.

Hang on just a minute.

Noah and I have all kinds

of problems. We're not perfect.

We've been trying to have a baby

for the past four years.

Our sex life

is purely result-based.

And I can only orgasm

when I have to urinate.

Sweetheart, these issues

are amateur hour. Okay?

I've got a thesis to prove.

Um... sometimes I think

he wants to have sex

with my sister.

Is she local?

Yes. And she rarely

wears a bra.

Okay, I'm gonna let you

do this on trial.

Really?

-But I'm not paying you.

-Well... oh.

Um, look, I think

to dedicate our time we should

be compensated monetarily.

Uh, Mel,

start the car.

Okay, fine. Fine.

I-it's okay.

Mel, the release form.

Deal. Thank you so much,

Vivian prudeck.

Gosh! Vivian prudeck!

This is amazing.

Um-- yes.

Okay, I'll sign here.

Listen, I majored in art history

at tulane, so I kinda know,

you know, what you do.

I'm actually part of

the vero beach

cultural association.

I am so excited.

I put my number right there.

Just so you can call us

and tell us when to start.

Thank you. Great.

A-any other questions too,

just let me know.

I'm always here to help.

Even if you want, you know,

just a little tour around vero.

Um, I've done

this sort of thing,

but can you just explain

to Harvey?

I don't think he knows

about the camera.

Of course.

You just have to look at me.

I got it.

It's just an impromptu chat,

so don't look in the camera.

I understand.

At all.

Just ignore the camera.

I understand.

- All right.

- Fantastic.

What was the question?

I'll ask you that

again.

Um, how did it all start?

Uh--

well--

we met--

it was 1985, in Manhattan.

And, uh...

We were both heart fans.

Mmm.

That is true.

Dreamboat Annie.

Flawless. Love that album.

Sometimes I think

that's the only thing

we have left in common.

I don't know about that.

When we met

she was beautiful.

And she is beauti--

but she used to

wear these shoes,

they were, like,

these green,

snakeskin-y pumps.

Oh, god.

You make me sound

like a hooker, Harvey.

Well, I don't think

that's what I'm saying, but...

Look, I had no time

for any of that.

I was a single mom.

I was hustling my ass off.

Getting laid

or anything like that

was just an afterthought.

But he was

very sexually

aggressive.

I-- well, she was hot.

And we were--

it was mutual.

We were hot for each other.

There was a lot of heat.

That's how I got her

to marry me in the first place.

I was a champ in the sack.

Okay. Wow. So modest.

I'm--

let's see.

Then we got married.

Then we got married.

Then we got married.

Yes.

That changed a little.

-The first 10 years, that was--

-they were hard.

Just

a lot of pressure.

Well, there was

a lot of stuff going on.

She was miserable at work.

She was dragging her feet.

She was in

the financial world and--

wait! No.

I loved my job.

I just--

i struggled--

balancing everything.

So we decided to make a change

and we moved down here

to be with all the other Jews.

I'm not... Jewish. I'm not--

I don't think

you have to underline that.

But also--

also...

Because cybil's daughter milly

lives in Miami.

-That was

a big incentive to move.

-That's not the only reason.

I didn't say

it was the only reason.

I read that article in redbook

about prince Charles

playing Polo in vero,

so it always struck me

as a very nice

place to live.

So we moved

to be near prince Charles.

That's why we're here.

The point is, the man

can go anywhere in the world,

and he chose to go to vero.

-He's here a lot.

-Wouldn't call him a neighbor.

And what about

the concept of marriage

as a seven-year contract,

that after seven years

you walk your own separate way

and that's the end of it?

Yeah. Interesting.

Hmm.

Don't think it's a bad idea,

to be honest. I mean, uh...

Cyb-- I don't--

truly?

Sometimes I'm amazed

that cybil and i

made it this far.

I think it's valid.

I really do.

Is that too harsh?

No. We're just here

to tell the truth, Harvey, so...

Okay.

Wait. I'll just get

the salad dressing.

Okay.

You okay?

Mmm! Yes. Ah.

So stupid.

You sure?

Yeah.

I can't tell

what makes you

testier,

entertaining

or the pending arrival

of your sister.

Well, the combination

isn't great.

-Hello!

-Hey!

How are you?

Good to see you, zenith.

Fanny. You look--

no. I love you.

I've been fasting.

Hi.

Peace and blessings.

Peace and blessings.

You've been fasting?

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Well, can you eat then,

or...

'Cause I have made a casserole

for everyone.

Hi!

Good to see ya.

Good to see you.

Good to see you.

-Welcome.

-You wanna watch the TV?

We just got some new channels.

Oh, no, no.

Shh. He doesn't know

it exists.

Still he doesn't know?

He's gonna find out eventually,

don't you think?

-Because he's older now,

he could maybe--

-you'll see when you have kids.

-It just seems sorta crazy.

-We just don't honor it

as a concept.

No, he doesn't know

what TV is.

Well...

Oh! Gifts!

We come bearing gifts

yes!

Our gifts.

Oh, boy!

Gifts!

- Is this straight from the free thinkers workshop?

- -Yes, it's incredible!

Creative comrades

using their wares,

making their inventions.

It's so cool.

-Best thing we ever did was

moving here to be close to you.

-We could not agree more.

Can we use your shower?

What? Why?

We had to turn

our water supply off.

-The welding machine

spazzed out on--

-while we were making the gift.

Which you are gonna love.

-With the electrical stuff,

it went all cuckoo.

-Sounds dangerous.

Yeah, but it's making this

mineral formation on the cement

that's just really beautiful.

It's like this amazing,

poetic, wet bruise

on our floor.

A happy accident.

You got it.

Who's ready

for a shower?

I'm gonna!

Shower!

Shower!

Thank you!

You guys freshen up.

We'll be chillin'.

How great

are they?

They're great.

So funny.

They're so fun.

- Yes, present time.

- The presents!

What have you

brought us?

--Open it!

Is it these things

that are the presents?

-No, we need those back.

-Oh. Okay.

Okay,

that's the first part.

- Keep going. Keep going.

- -What is that?

There you go.

I'm still confused.

You made this?

Yes.

Well--

whoa.

Ah.

Whoa!

It's an at-home

agave spirit-maker.

A--

get outta town!

You're welcome.

Get outta here!

I love it!

Wh-- how does it--

what do you do?

H-how does it,

um--

oh, it's easy.

All you do is, you get

the blue agave cactus

from Mexico.

Once you get the plant,

you take the heart out of it.

You want to heat it up

to about 116 degrees.

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