I Do (But I Don't) Page #6

---

Or actually tell G to fire me.

But I won't do it.

You're gonna have to find some

other way out of this mess.

And I suggest that you

start being honest...

...with the people that care about you,

because they don't deserve this.

Now I'm finished.

You'll be sorry you said that.

You-- Hey!

Let go of that!

Stupid dog. Give me that!

Good boy, Snickers.

Good boy. Yes, you are.

You are such a good boy.

Yes, you are.

You are. I know.

Even though I probably ruined

my chances of getting that promotion...

...telling off Darla was the first

time I ever stood up for myself.

And it felt great.

What are you doing here?

-We need to talk.

-I don't wanna talk to you.

About anything.

Brad!

So my therapist thinks

we should get back together.

He says that I'm not gonna grow as a "me."

I need to be a "we."

There is no we.

There never was.

-It was only you.

-That's not true.

-Yes, it is.

-No, it's not.

-Yes, it is.

-God, Lauren, you're being really harsh.

Oh, I'm being harsh?

You cheated on me.

What is it with you guys?

Is it so hard to stay faithful

to one woman?

Actually, my therapist says

it's not within our genetic makeup.

Do you have any idea

how much you hurt me?

How you destroyed any hopes

I had of our life together?

-Do you?

-Well, I said I was sorry.

Sorry isn't good enough.

Sign.

-Lauren, you don't want me to sign this.

-Yes, I do.

-No, you don't.

-Shut the hell up, Brad.

For once,

I'm gonna have the last word.

Sign.

Okay, but your mom

is gonna be really pissed.

I'll take my chances.

You know the way out.

-Who are you?

-Who are you?

I'm Lauren's husband.

Can I talk to her for a minute?

Oh, sorry.

She's in the bath.

Why don't you give me your name,

and I'll tell her you stopped by.

No, no, that's all right.

Thanks.

As I arrived at work

the next morning...

...the buzz I had from my self-empowerment

binge quickly wore off.

G was back in the office,

and I was certain I'd be fired.

Lauren, in here now!

What the hell happened

while I was gone?

G, listen, I can explain--

My chair is ruined.

You mean this isn't about Darla?

Not unless she's the one

who peed on it.

Of course not.

Snickers had an accident when you were

gone, but it's only because he missed you.

Oh, there's my precious baby.

Come to Mommy, Snickers.

Go to your mama, Snickers.

Come on, Snickers.

Go to your mama.

He's just trying to make you jealous.

I guess.

-What were you saying about Darla?

-Well, I was wondering if you spoke to her.

No, but I spoke to her mother.

She said to compliment you...

...on handling a very delicate situation.

She said that?

And we're moving the wedding

up to this Saturday.

-They're going through with it?

-Why wouldn't they?

G, I don't think this is

something I can really do.

Oh, please.

You need to overnight these.

So I'm not fired?

Of course not. I told you.

If you pull this off,

you'll be promoted.

My migraines are back.

I should have been thrilled that we

pulled off Darla's wedding in two days.

But all I could think about was Nick.

How could I fall for someone who

would sleep with his brother's fiance...

...and then lie to me

about their relationship?

Despite how betrayed I felt,

I knew I had to do a good job.

No matter what.

Darla, I have your--

Rick, I told you to lock the door.

Rick?

Rick Corina.

Jay and Nick's little brother.

Nick wasn't having

an affair with Darla.

A wave of relief washed over me...

...until I realized there's still

something wrong with this picture.

How could you?

Is there a fourth or fifth brother

I don't know about?

Have you slept with them too?

Do you honestly think you can

manage "till death do us part" ...

...when you can't even

stay faithful for a day?

Don't be so provincial.

You. How could you do this

to your brother?

He stole my girlfriends before.

-Darla?

-Jay.

Honey, it's not what you think.

-Oh, yeah?

-Yeah, Jay, she can explain, really.

Why don't I explain something?

Jay, no!

-Hey, get off him! Do something!

-Guys, come on!

Guys, stop it.

That's it.

Stop it.

Oh, my God.

You're ruining your suits.

-You okay?

-Yes. I need to talk to you.

No, not now.

Nick, I wanna apologize.

I'm not interested

in being with a married lady.

I made a mistake

about you and Darla.

Darla?

I'm talking about you.

-I met your husband last week.

-What?

What on earth is going on here?

All of you, stop it this instant.

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

And why are you just standing there?

Why didn't you do something?

Never mind.

We have a wedding in 15 minutes,

and I'll be damned...

...if this is the first Gennifer Douglas

production to get canceled.

You drink this.

And, you, finish getting dressed.

You boys make sure your father

doesn't hear about this.

As for you, you've done enough damage,

so just try to keep out of sight.

You'll never make it in this business

if you don't learn how to take charge.

Thanks to G's flask, Jay finally managed

to make it to the altar.

And after a few swigs myself,

I managed to make it to my seat.

I wanna say that with all my

organizational skills and empathy...

...I fixed everything. But all I did

was help the groom get drunk...

...while G convinced Darla and Jay

to go through with the wedding.

Marriage is a sacred institution

created by God...

...as a symbol of the union between

a man and a woman.

If anyone objects to this union,

please speak now.

I believe we'll move on to the vows.

The rings.

These rings are a symbol

of commitment and fidelity.

That's rich.

James, do you take Darla

to be your lawfully wedded wife...

...to have and to hold

from this day forward...

...in sickness and in health,

till death do you part?

How could you cheat on me

with my own brother?

Would you like me to repeat

the question, sir?

No, that won't be necessary, padre.

With all due respect, I don't take Darla

to have and to hold.

I changed my mind.

I don't want her anymore.

You can't break up with me,

because I'm breaking up with you.

-Whatever.

-Darla, no.

Quiet, Mother. I have something to say.

I wouldn't marry Jay Corina if he

was the last man on earth!

And I would never have the courage

to state my true feelings...

...if it hadn't been for Lauren Crandell.

She taught me that I need to be honest

with the people who care about me.

No, no, no. That's not what I meant.

The point is, I'm breaking up with Jay...

-...because I'm in love with his brother.

-Nick?

No, Rick.

So that's who I saw naked?

And I'm proud to say...

...that I'm having his baby.

Even though Darla didn't go through

with the ceremony...

...Lou Tedanski was gonna be damned if

he didn't go through with the reception.

G warned me that I'd never get ahead

if I didn't take charge.

Thanks to a combination of

overwhelming stress...

...and G's flask of truth serum...

...I decided to throw caution to the wind

and speak my mind.

Hey, you know what?

You....

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes