I Do (But I Don't) Page #7

---

Sorry-- Should be ashamed of yourself.

No, no, no. I'm not finished.

You need to grow up and know

what it means to be a man...

...a brother, and in seven months,

a father.

Now are you finished?

With you.

Hey. Wanna know what I think?

Oh, God, I'm not sure I do.

I think you should've had Darla fixed

when she was 15. Don't you think?

-Oh, my.

-Could you excuse us, please? Sorry.

-I think it's time you go home.

-I don't wanna.

I wanna take charge.

I feel dizzy.

Come on. Come on.

Nick.

Nick. God, this was all

a misunderstanding.

I was so wrong about you and Darla,

and you were so wrong about me and Brad.

And we're not really married.

I mean, we are technically,

but we're going through a divorce.

Isn't that great news?

Lauren, I don't think we should see

each other anymore.

Why not?

Because you didn't trust me.

Lauren Crandell.

You're fired.

Great.

Nick's words were ringing in my head

when I woke up.

He turned my trust issues against me,

and he was right.

I should have known better.

But even with a horrible hangover,

I had a moment of clarity.

Rule number eight: When it comes to love,

there are no rules.

Oh, forget it.

-How you feeling?

-Oh, let's see.

I'm single, jobless and have

a killer hangover.

Look, why don't you call G,

ask for your job back?

Because it was a blessing in disguise.

I'd rather be poor and unemployed

than be under G's thumb.

I'll get it.

I bet these will cheer you up.

Oh.

-These are pretty.

-Yeah.

They're for you.

"Lilies for my Lily. Please come home.

Love, Banjo."

Isn't he the cutest?

-What happened to your three-month rule?

-Well, sometimes life surprises you.

The good news is you can have

your apartment back.

Great. Now I can add "lonely"

to my list.

-Could things get any worse?

-Oh. Actually, Mom called.

She said you're supposed to meet her

for brunch.

Lauren. It's 11 a.m., dear.

It's past the time to comb one's hair.

Why are you wearing those

ridiculous sunglasses?

Mom, please, slow down.

And please lower your voice.

-Why? Do you have a hangover?

-I'm begging you.

-Can we talk about something else?

-Yes.

-Look.

-Yes. I'm familiar with it.

Look at the cover. "Junior wedding

consultants, the real experts."

Listen.

"Today's renaissance women,

junior consultants like Lauren Crandell...

...handle everything from torn veils

to dangling grooms."

Did they mention G?

-No.

-She is gonna have a fit.

Well, I think it's wonderful.

Now all you need is a man

to share in your success.

Which reminds me,

have you called Brad?

Mom....

Mom, there's something

that I need to tell you.

And please, please listen carefully...

...because this has taken me

over a year to get the courage.

What is it, dear?

Oh, my God. Are you a lesbian?

It's okay if you are, honey, as long

as I can still have grandchildren.

Mother, I am not a lesbian.

The real reason why Brad and I broke up

is because he cheated on me.

-What?

-He tried to sleep with Lily...

-...while we were married.

-He did not.

Ask her.

Oh, my God.

Oh, and-- And all this time...

...l've been pushing a cheater

on my own daughter.

-Oh, I am so sorry.

-Mom, it's not your fault. You didn't know.

Well, why didn't you tell me sooner?

I was ashamed. I mean,

you have the perfect marriage.

I really didn't wanna disappoint you.

Oh, Lauren.

Lauren, you could never disappoint me,

no matter what you do.

Thank you.

No, thank you, for being honest.

This is good. Now I don't have to make

polite conversation...

-...with that annoying mother of his.

-Mom.

-I love you.

-I love you too, dear.

My mother's faith in me made me think

about what I wanted to do next.

I was missing work.

There's something about being

a wedding planner that...

...no matter how challenging,

makes me happy.

Rule number nine:

Even in a wedding

with catastrophic blunders...

...there should always be a moment

of pure, unadulterated goodwill.

It's knowing that I had a hand in creating

a second or two of perfect harmony...

...that keeps me coming back.

And that's when it hit me.

I didn't just wanna watch

these happy moments.

I wanted to live them.

Hello? Anybody here?

Well, isn't it the wedding planner

from hell.

Jay, I'm so sorry. I really wish

that things turned out differently.

And I wish I wasn't paying for Rick

to go on my honeymoon.

At least you found out now.

Trust me. It hurts a whole lot more

after you say "I do."

-What do you want?

-I'm looking for Nick.

-He's not here.

-Where is he?

He just put out a fire in Wrigleyville.

He's gonna be cleaning up for a while.

I can't wait that long.

Jay, I really need to talk to him.

-What are you doing?

-Well, this is an emergency, right?

-I'm giving you a ride.

-Your brother was right.

-About what?

-You.

You're not such a bad guy.

Look out! Coming through!

Hang on!

Let's go! Move it!

We're almost there.

Okay, folks, back up. Let's go. Let's go.

Nick!

Nick!

Lauren? What are you doing here?

Your brother dropped me off.

I really have to talk to you,

and I'm really sorry it couldn't wait.

My sister told me something

really wise today.

She said life is full of surprises.

And sometimes someone really

special comes along...

...who's worth taking a risk for.

And I think that....

I know that....

I know that you're worth

taking that risk.

And if you'll have me...

...I would really love a second chance.

Can I give you a hug?

No, no.

Look how dirty I am.

You probably had that thing dry-cleaned

so it wouldn't look terrible.

-Are you gonna answer that?

-Absolutely not.

All right.

I know that file is here, Barbara.

I've been looking for it.

I know I'm gonna find it, okay?

Sorry it's taking so long.

It's been chaos around here.

Barbara, let me get back to you.

Lauren.

Thank God.

I'm just here to pick up my things.

No. You can't leave. The office has

gone to hell since you left.

I didn't leave. You fired me.

The point is, since that magazine article,

everyone's asking for you.

You have to come back.

-I don't know.

-Lf not for me, then for Snicker's sake.

He's been ripping the place to shreds.

I hate to break it to you, G,

but he has always been that way.

Fine. Forget the dog.

I'll give you that promotion.

Pay you six figures.

-You can have your own assistant.

-My own assistant?

You can make your own hours.

Anything you want.

I'll accept your offer.

Under one condition.

-You name it.

-That this time, I can quit.

-Excuse me?

-I am sick and tired of you treating me...

...like an indentured servant and then

taking credit for everything.

This is the thanks I get

for taking you under my wing?

-How can you do this to me?

-Easy.

Snickers, stop it now!

Hey, boss-lady. Brought you a latte.

I told you not to wait on me.

In this office, you're an equal.

In that case, I'm voting myself a raise.

Don't push it. I gotta go.

-The wedding's at 8, right?

-Yep.

So plan on meeting me in an hour?

-Okay. Oh, and Marc?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes