I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore Page #3

---

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.

It belongs to me.

No, you come back here, lady.

Oh, God. Oh, God, sir.

I...

I di... Are you okay?

I di...

You...

You hit me.

I'm sorry.

- Oh, my God.

- Side kick.

That was a side kick.

It was them.

Is he...?

Nurse Wilson, Triage 2.

Nurse Wilson, T-2.

Caught it in the mail slot, huh?

Yes. Yep.

Must've really slammed it hard.

Yeah, slammed the sh*t out of it.

Be careful with these.

No alcohol, no driving.

You pivot on the ball of your foot

and snap your hips out at the same time.

That transmits a huge amount of power

outward through the leg.

It-It's devastating

when deployed correctly.

Get the f*** out of here,

you son of a b*tch!

What are we doing?

Um...

whatever you want.

What are we doing... here, the world?

Trying to be good.

Or be better.

What about me? Am I good?

Yeah. Of course you are.

I clubbed an old man.

Right, but in combat situation...

I'm so sorry.

Sorry?

I should be thanking you.

I- I-I don't...

I don't really have too many friends.

I've been told I'm obnoxious.

But today, I felt...

I felt electric.

I don't want to die.

You won't.

Not right now?

It's just gonna be black.

No, it won't.

Yes, it will, Tony.

It's just gonna be like...

Like when you turn off a TV.

Hey, uh, if you want,

I was gonna catch an afternoon service.

I think you'd like it.

Minister's so funny. Rev. Bill.

Should be in stand-up.

Headless and all alone

Shiver and say

The words

Of every lie you've heard

First I'm gonna make it

Then I'm gonna break it

till it falls apart

Hating all the faking

And shaking while I'm breaking

Your brittle heart

Billy stands

Made of stone

Charlie clown

No way home

Bring on the headless horses

Wherever they may roam

Shiver and say

The words

Of every lie you've heard

First I'm gonna make it

Then I'm gonna break it

till it falls apart

Hating all the faking

And shaking while

you're breaking my brittle heart

Y'all been sleeping

in that van over there?

- No.

- Really?

'Cause one of you three stinks.

It's pork chops.

We just dropped your mom off.

Come on, you f***in' comedian.

Goddamn.

Jesus, you get this one

out of a f***in' shipwreck?

It's a stickup,

not brain surgery.

You get what you pay for,

and you can barely pay for that.

I'm glad that we could finally...

Bring my mom into it.

F***.

How's the finger?

Those f***ers got away.

What about the tag number?

I didn't get the tag number, so...

Oh. I did.

Didn't I say that?

No.

I did.

It's all just ones and zeros.

Binary data connected by threads,

like a web.

Yeah. I mean, it's called the Web.

Just gotta know how to dodge the spiders.

Dude. I'm reading this one.

Don't tell me what happens! I hate that.

You're so sly, but so am I.

Oh, yeah.

Oops.

That was a glitch.

That needed a reboot anyway.

I... didn't really see anything.

Open sesame.

Oh. Uh, need a credit card.

Gotcha.

Christian Rumack.

Hmm.

Well...

that is...

That's something.

That's something. What do you, uh...

Wh-What do you do, Miss Kimke?

Uh... Well, I'm a nursing assistant.

Now, suppose I came down

to where you do that...

Your hospital...

It's a post-op facility.

Okay.

Well, suppose I came down there

and I said, You know,

maybe not that medication, Ruth,

maybe this one instead, don't ya think?

No, that's what...

That's not what I meant by...

You present a certainty

that the owner of a vehicle

you happened to see at a garage sale

is the same individual

who burglarized your home.

- And...

- His footprint.

And that his foot,

according to this,

is made out of scrambled eggs.

No. Uh, no, sir.

That is not... Okay.

So...

I...

I located my computer...

Right. I-I understand the chain of events

as you tell them.

Okay.

Did it not occur to you that the people

who had your computer in the first place

were the same ones

that broke into your home?

- Yeah. But...

- Occam's Razor and whatnot.

What?

Did it not occur to you that approaching a

criminal suspect without official capacity

is a good way to get your wig knocked off?

Let me see your hand.

- Can I see it?

- It's nothing.

Can I see it?

That's what I thought. Yeah.

What happened to your finger?

Ruth, look at me.

- Were you engaged in a confrontation?

- No, it was an accident.

Have you been able

to replace your medications?

- I see. I see.

- I'll take that as a no.

Okay.

I mean, why...?

Why do you not want to help me?

- Help you?

- Yeah. I just... Why...?

- Isn't it your job?

- My job.

Yeah.

I am doing my job.

You're asking me about my job right now.

- Yeah, I'm coming in here...

- You come into my workplace...

- I have things to help you...

- and you ask me about my job.

You think just because

you left your door wide open

for some punk to stroll right in,

that the universe now somehow

revolves around you?

Well, grow up.

We had a man beaten unconscious

in his driveway.

- That's awful.

- Yeah, it's awful.

And now... now, Ruth,

he has skull fragments in his brain.

The world is bigger than your silverware.

People are experiencing bigger problems.

There are people out there...

I'm, uh...

I'm being divorced.

First time I said it out loud.

Sir, I'm very...

Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm. Move it. Move the hand.

Go home, Ruth.

This is the guy.

No, it is not.

And if you engage in vigilante action

or mess around with this again,

I will be a bigger problem

than your busted finger.

Do you follow me?

What now?

Pick your sh*t up.

Excuse me.

Must've robbed a ton of houses.

Oh, excuse me. I just was...

- Good morning, ma'am. I...

- Police.

Okay. May we have a moment of your time?

Well, I don't see why not.

Come on in.

Welcome to my home.

Make yourselves comfortable.

Go on in the sittin' room,

sit on one of those couches.

They're kinda new.

They're real comfortable.

- Can I get you a cup of coffee?

- Not necessary.

Um, no, thank you.

It's no trouble. I just press a button

on the machine... boop!

It'll make a cappuccino too.

It's like Al, like a spaceship.

- Do you have cashew milk?

- In that case...

I think I can find something.

Any kind of nut milk is good?

I like nut milk.

You know, my niece Cameron,

she can't have dairy,

so I always have, like, hazelnut milk or...

You know,

they do this Brazil nut thing now.

It's actually pretty good.

I need to speak with Christian Rumack.

Is he here?

Well, he is still out with his friends.

I expect him back God knows when.

Talk about what?

Choices he made.

Well, I ought to make sandwiches then

because that could take all day.

Like sandwiches?

You hungry?

I'm never hungry.

I used to get hungry a lot,

but I don't really get hungry anymore.

Okay, here we go.

Here you go, sweetie, with that nut milk.

Thank you.

- And here you go.

- Thanks.

You're welcome.

- So, I was just wondering...

- A machine did this?

Mm-hmm. Yup.

Huh.

I worked at Borders for a while.

Oh, the bookstore?

Yeah, but they had a caf too.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes