I Sell The Dead

Willie Grimes reprimanded

and ready for the...

Go on, get out of it.

I thought I'd remain sober for the day.

Oh, that's sharp.

That's a very close shave, indeed.

I've changed my mind.

I'll be off, then.

I've an appointment

with Oswald Mitchells.

I've changed my mind.

Little buggers.

You bastards.

Serve that blade up, mate.

I don't think it's quite my size.

It's a little tight around the neck.

Lop his bleedin' head off.

I'll see you in hell, you bollocks.

F*** you, Grimes.

As for you.

In the basket.

In the basket.

Father.

Thank God.

Ow!

I didn't do anything.

Get me out of this thing.

Mr. Blake.

Mr. Arthur Blake.

Yes.

Body snatching.

Hmm.

It is my duty to write, for

the purpose of announcement

and later for printing,

your final words.

Eh, so that others drawn

to the wayside may, uh...

take heed in your cries of

guilt and pleas for forgiveness.

It is also my duty to inform you

that you are to be

executed by way of, uh...

beheading.

For a lifetime spent in

the despicable pursuit

of grave robbing and murder...

Well, all this really means

is that you're a dead man,

and I'm here to make you say sorry.

You'd be after my

gallows speech, then.

By hook or by crook.

Did you get a speech

out of old Willie

before they chopped off his head?

It would have been nice to

have a chat with your friend,

maybe extrapolate a

story or two from him,

but, well, sadly, that was not to be.

Do you have anything to say

for yourself before they, uh...

Well, I suppose you

wouldn't believe me

if I told you I was innocent.

Innocent?

Of murder, that is.

The despicable grave robbing

part sounds about right.

Well, that's a new one.

Why don't I have a chat

with the executioner

and may... maybe get you a pardon, like?

All I know is this.

I woke up in the morning,

the coppers were at my door.

And get this.

They followed a fresh

trail of body parts

that led all the way from

the station to my house.

As if I'd be that stupid.

The same thing happened to Willie.

Fresh trail of body

parts that led all the way

from the station to his doorstep.

And then they called us murderers.

Bollocks.

We were set up.

Not a murderer, then.

Nope.

- Grave robber?

- Yep.

Bloody good one too.

Would you mind shining a light

on what it was that

made you so exceptional?

I'm not sure I want to

go down that road, Father.

You know, when I look

back on it now, it seems...

Well, I'm not sure you

would believe a word of it.

Besides, I have a terrible memory.

Eh, you'd be surprised what a

man of the cloth might believe.

You think this might

help with your memory?

It... it might.

Here's to the late, great Willie Grimes.

Oh, you'll be seeing him

very soon, Mr. Blake, very soon.

Aye, that I will.

I suppose we have some

time to kill, Father?

Eh, Francis Duffy.

Father Francis Duffy.

And you have exactly five hours to kill.

I'll tell you what, Father.

You keep this whiskey here flowing,

we'll have ourselves a little chat.

Well, that's a fair trade then.

So tell me,

how did you start out

in your life of crime?

Well, I suppose I'd

have to go back a bit,

back to when I first met Willie.

Willie got me into the trade.

I was his apprentice.

You see, it was body

snatching or the streets for me

and my ma, my little brother.

Are you frightened?

Of course you is.

I remember the first job I pulled.

Nearly sh*t myself, didn't I?

With me old man it was.

Miserable bastard.

So what brought you down

to the Fortune of War, then?

My mom told me to go

there and talk to Ronnie.

When I got there, he gave me an ale

and said I was gonna

meet you here tonight.

You might keep me on.

Who's your Ma, then?

Mary Blake.

She works down at the food lane.

Selling things.

Ah, things.

If I can get a job,

she says she could stay

home with me little brother.

He's only a baby.

F***ing single grave, isn't it?

Now, you watch old Willie

and see how the job gets done.

You want that hole narrow.

Don't make it too wide neither.

Now, what I want for

you is to get down there

and smack a hole in the lid of that box.

The coffin?

Yeah, the coffin.

Come on now, boy, get on with it.

You done yet?

Me hands are bleeding.

Oh, give it some.

Don't stop till you hack through it.

I'm going to be sick.

Now stomp on the lid a

bit so's you can reach in.

What you want to do

is, you take this rope,

tie it round to whatever

it is that's down there.

Good lad.

All right, now get out of

it while I take a butchers.

Wow, that's some tight hold on that.

Give us a hand with this shroud.

See, that's the one thing we don't take.

You could be done for nicking that.

You don't know her, do ya?

Well, do ya?

It was Mrs. Tulley.

She lives around from me Ma.

Well, not anymore she doesn't.

You'll be wanting a stronger stomach

if you're gonna get into this

line of business, you would.

Which way now?

Here, boy.

You deserve a drink.

What is it?

It's good stuff...

and you've earned it.

Now take some.

Oop.

Get that for me, will you?

I found it.

Why did he not strike you down?

He didn't have the heart, Father.

Like I said, Willie wasn't a murderer.

You know, underneath

all that dirt and grime,

you'll find more dirt and grime,

and then underneath all that,

you'll find that Willie

has a heart of gold.

Had, Mr. Blake.

Had a heart of gold.

Your friend is no longer with us.

Oh, yeah, had a heart of gold.

Mm-hmm.

So he took me on as his apprentice,

and for better or worse,

that was the start of my life of crime.

And how long did you

remain under his employ?

On and off over the years.

Sometimes I employed him.

Mainly though we were under the

thumb of one Dr. Vernon Quint.

Quint.

Yeah, he was a fiend.

Had Willie and I slaving for years,

blackmailing us with the law

if we didn't deliver the goods.

And he had you ransacking

the graveyards for him, eh?

Were you free to snatch as you pleased?

Not really.

I mean, the coppers could be

bought off from time to time,

but the relatives,

they were out for blood.

We had to think on our feet,

look elsewhere for corpses.

Go on, give her a little poke.

She had a wooden leg,

hollow in the middle.

She used to tie it with a

string and play it like a fiddle.

She'd fiddle in the hall;

she'd fiddle in the alleyway.

She didn't give a damn, for

she had to fiddle anyway.

Here you go lads, get them into you.

Oh, yeah, very good.

Thanks, Maisey, here's to Kathleen.

Lord have mercy on her soul.

A hard life.

Some would say she's

off to a better place.

Hard life?

Hard living more like.

Ah, but look at the beautiful

corpse she left behind.

It was the pleurisy got her in the end.

Expecting many guests, Maisey?

No, she didn't leave many

friends behind her, Tommy,

and we couldn't afford

the O'Casey mourners.

Terribly expensive.

Oh.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Maybe I spoke too soon.

Friends indeed.

You're only here for the drink.

Feck off, you.

She was an awful woman.

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