Ice Age: Collision Course

(DRUMROLL)

(ROUSING ORCHESTRAL FANFARE PLAYING)

(FANFARE ENDS)

(SIGHS)

(GASPS)

(SQUEALS)

(YELPING)

(STRAINING)

(SCREAMING)

NEIL deBUCK WEASEL:

The universe...

a vast expanse

of space and matter.

It includes all that we see,

and all that we know.

Since the beginning of time,

we have wondered

how it came to be.

A gloriously orchestrated plan?

A chance series of events?

Or something much, much dumber?

(YELPING)

(HUMMING)

(SNIFFING)

Aha!

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMING)

(GROANS)

(SNIFFS) Eee!

(SNIFFING)

(METALLIC CLANGING)

(SNIFFING)

(CLANGS)

(REVERBERATING)

(GROANING)

(SNIFFING)

(EXCLAIMS)

(POWERING UP)

(GASPS)

(STRAINING)

(GROANS)

(STRAINING)

(SCREAMING)

(GROANS)

(SCREAMS)

(ALARM BLARING)

(SCREAMS)

(GROANS)

(GASPS)

(SCREAMS)

(YELPING)

(SCREAMING)

(ECHOING SCREAM)

(STRAINING)

(GROANING)

(WHIMPERS)

(GASPS)

(SCREAMING)

(GASPS)

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

(STRAINING)

(SCREAMING)

(GROANS)

(GASPS)

(COOING)

(ALSO SPRACH ZARATHUSTRA

PLAYING)

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMS)

(GASPS)

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

CRASH:
It's a beautiful day

out here on the ice...

as father meets daughter

in a quest for hockey supremacy.

It's Peaches meets Manny.

Mammoth meets mammoth.

Mano a mano.

Meema me moo-ma.

Mama may mee-mee.

Will you two quit it?

M-okay.

Meanie.

The blazing mammoth

takes it on the breakaway.

There's never been a player

so tough, so graceful.

So desperate to score.

He fakes right.

He fakes left.

He fakes knowing how to play.

(BOTH GRUNT)

Huh?

What's wrong?

Lose something?

BOTH:
Hey, what's that stink

I smell out there? It's Manny!

Hey, hey. It's Manny!

Whoo! You stink!

Okay, Fuzzball.

Let's see what you got.

You asked for it.

(LAUGHS)

(GASPS)

Yes! She dominates! Again.

Oh, please.

I went easy on you.

It's called good parenting.

Yeah, right. Face it.

I rule the ice now.

Oh, you talk

a big game, hotshot.

All right,

how about best of three?

Whoo-hoo! Yes!

Touchdown!

Wait, no, that's not right.

Not touchdown. What is it?

Uh, hole-in-one!

Whoo! (LAUGHING)

Julian!

Whoa!

Ow!

Sorry.

Honey, I scored!

Did you see me?

Yeah! And you were amazing.

Whoa! Whoa!

Careful!

Oh, the ice is really icy.

It's like super-sized,

extra value icy.

But I'm getting better, right?

(PEACHES LAUGHING)

JULIAN:
Whoa!

(SIGHS)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Okay, we'll play... later.

So, she whupped

your butt again, huh?

And with a butt that size,

that's a whole lot of whuppin'.

Nobody was whupped.

There was no whupping.

It's just a loving father

sharing some strategy

with his only daughter.

Didn't know sucking

was a strategy.

CRASH:
Okay, it's our turn.

Let's show them how it's done!

(BOTH LAUGH)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

You're going down, eh?

(GROANING)

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! (LAUGHS)

Ta-ta-da-da!

For you, my mom-in-law-to-be.

Buttercups!

Nature's sunshine.

Isn't sunshine

nature's sunshine?

(GROANS)

Aw! Thank you, Julian.

It's been so long since

anyone's given me flowers.

But you're marrying

our daughter.

You don't have to

keep bringing us presents.

But it makes me happy.

And for you, my guru,

my rock, my main mammoth...

To you, I give

the greatest gift of all.

Wait. What are you doing?

Come on, Bro-Dad.

Bring it in.

(MANNY SIGHS)

JULIAN:
Oh!

I can feel your heart beating.

Okay. That's enough of that.

You better get used to it.

They'll be living

right next door.

Come on, Julian.

Wanna go?

Actually, weren't you gonna

help me with the thing?

Oh! Right. The thing.

Gotta do the thing.

I can do the thing.

BOTH:
No!

It's a girl thing.

Hey! Why don't you

go do a guy thing?

You know, you don't spend

nearly enough time

with your friends.

I don't?

I'll see you later.

(GIGGLES)

On this special day.

Uh... Okay.

Have you told them

about our decision yet?

No. I'm waiting

for the right time.

Come on, Romeo.

Walk with me.

I'm gonna watch some butterflies

come out of their cocoons.

Whoa! Really?

No.

Goodbye, sweetie.

(BLOWING KISSES)

Aw! I remember when Manny

and I used to be like that.

Not me! Love them

and leave them,

and take half of everything.

That's my motto.

(SIGHS)

Mi amor, so many ladies

have tried and failed...

to strap a saddle

on Sid the stallion.

(MIMICS HORSE NEIGHING)

But I want to share

everything with you.

You're the wind

beneath my fleas,

the algae of my eye.

Will you be my mate for life?

(KISSING)

FRANCINE:
Sidney?

Mmm?

Sidney, where are you?

(GRUNTING)

Francine.

I need to ask...

Ow!

I need to ask you something.

Will you marry...

Sid, I'm gonna

stop you right there.

I'm breaking up with you.

What? But I planned

our whole future!

Our wedding.

Our kids.

(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Mommy.

Our burial plots.

How you doing?

SID:
I even hired a band.

Hey!

(MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING)

No, no. Not yet!

Are you crazy?

We've only had one date.

It lasted 14 minutes!

Yes, but it felt like 20.

Ugh!

I can't! A ring?

I mean, I like the ring, but no.

I can't. You're too clingy.

How is this clingy?

(GRUNTS)

And by the way,

you look nothing like

your profile picture.

Francine, you gotta start dating

outside of your species.

Franny, we can work this out.

Is this about the bikini? Ow!

I didn't know it was poison ivy.

(SOBBING)

(BLOWING NOSE)

Oh! Uh-oh.

Franny. Franny, help!

(BOTH SCREAM)

Somebody.

Is it the eyes that hurt...

or my soul?

Ow!

Definitely the eyes.

(CHITTERING)

Ah, women!

Yeah, women.

What about them?

I don't get 'em.

(WHISTLES)

Like, Ellie.

Life's great with her.

There's no surprises.

Nothing ever changes.

But then today, she giggled.

Does Shira ever just giggle?

Please don't eat me!

(ROARS)

Uh... Shira's not

a big giggler.

Well, Ellie giggled.

And then she wiggled.

"Tee hee hee hee." Boom!

Don't ever do that again.

I have no idea why

she's acting so weird.

(SIGHS) Women.

Women.

SID:
Hello?

And speaking of weird.

Anybody there? Oh!

Marco? Polo?

Oh, hi, Manny.

Ew! Your breath is awful.

What happened to you?

Oh, nothing.

Everything's great.

Fabulous. Zippity-dippity.

Okay, let me guess.

She dumped you.

What is wrong with me?

Everybody has somebody.

And all I've got is

my boyish good looks

and this mariachi band.

(ALL WHOOPING)

(MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING)

(SOBBING)

(BLOWS NOSE)

Oh! So itchy!

Come on.

Let's get you cleaned up.

Ahh!

(MUFFLED STRUGGLING)

(BANGING)

(GRUNTING)

(SIGHS)

(EXCLAIMS)

Whoa!

(SCREAMS)

(ALARM BLARING)

(GRUNTING)

(EXCLAIMS)

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTING)

(MUFFLED SCREAM)

(GRUNTING)

(SIGHS)

(SCREAMS)

(GASPS)

(SCREAMS)

(PANTING)

(GROANING)

(SID SOBBING)

All I wanted is true love.

Is that too much to ask?

(DIEGO GROANS)

Why is it so quiet?

Because the world

is mourning my loss.

(GRUNTS)

(SCREAMS)

Ellie?

Peaches?

Where is everyone?

ALL:
Surprise!

(ALL LAUGHING)

(CRAZY IN LOVE PLAYING)

(BLOWING NOISEMAKERS)

Uh... Huh?

BOTH:
Ta-da!

Happy Anniversary, honey!

Anniversary?

Oh, no. That's the thing.

(GIGGLES)

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Okay! Now it's

your turn, Bro-Dad!

Yeah! We wanna see

what you got Ellie.

Manny!

ALL:
Manny! Manny! Manny!

Manny!

Hey, hey. Right.

Uh...

How about

another hand for Ellie?

(CHUCKLING) Yeah.

Oh.

He forgot!

(ALL GASP)

(FAINTS)

FEMALE GUEST:

I feel so bad for Ellie.

Ellie, I... Uh...

(FIREWORK POPS)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

ALL:
Ooh! Ah!

He didn't forget.

That's how big

Manny's love is for her!

BOTH:
Nice save

with the light show.

Wait, you didn't do this?

Then who did?

Oh, Manny.

I was so afraid you'd forgotten.

But you lit up the sky for me?

How'd you do it?

Uh, well...

A magician never

reveals his secrets.

(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)

Oh...

Thank you.

(CHILDREN LAUGHING)

(SIGHS) I keep picturing

our own kid in there.

He'd be the best one.

I think you meant "she."

He.

Either way,

we've been over this, Diego.

Kids are afraid of us.

Yeah, but why?

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(BOTH GASP)

Are they gonna eat us?

Hi, kids!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

I even smiled this time.

(GRUNTING)

(LAUGHS)

(MUFFLED GRUNTING)

(SCREAMS)

(LAUGHS)

PEACHES:
Wow, Dad.

Best present ever.

You, sir, are an education

in marital excellence.

I'm really gonna miss

you guys when we leave.

(GASPS AND COUGHS)

Ow!

Um, actually,

I haven't told them yet.

Oh.

Surprise!

You're leaving?

I thought you guys

were gonna live with us

the first couple of years.

I know. But Julian and I

kind of want to

roam for a while.

Roam?

JULIAN:
Yeah!

Travel, explore,

just go wherever.

No plan is the best plan.

That's my philosophy.

Hors d'oeuvres?

That's not a plan,

or a philosophy...

or very safe.

(CHUCKLES)

Dad, we're young.

We can worry about being safe

when we're old and boring.

Like you and Mom.

I think we should just...

Excuse me!

This is a family discussion.

But aren't I

part of your family?

Not yet, you're not.

(SLURPS)

Uh...

Does that look like

a problem to you?

A ball of fire heading

directly towards us?

Why would that

be a problem?

What if you fall in a ditch

and get amnesia?

What then, huh?

Manny, we have a problem.

Not now.

I have a problem.

This one's a little bigger.

I don't think so.

Manny!

What?

(GASPS)

(YELPS)

Manny?

Uh, okay.

Party's over, everybody.

Have a good night.

And leave right now!

What are you talking about?

The party just got started.

Yeah.

(YAWNS) Just getting

kind of sleepy.

Everyone should go.

And duck. Possibly cover!

Hey, what's gotten into you?

(GASPS)

Look! There's more coming!

(ALL GASPING)

Meteor shower!

(GASPS) Meteor?

(SNIFFS) Shower?

(GASPS) Manny's love

is killing us!

I suppose this is all part

of your magic show for me?

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Abracadabra?

Can you guys

deal with this later?

Come on.

We need to take cover.

(PANICKED SCREAMING)

Whoo-hoo! I'm on fire!

Whoo-hoo-hoo! Me too!

We're smoking hot, baby!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

ELLIE:
Incoming!

Those are ours!

Are you okay?

How many tusks do you see?

Tree.

Three?

No! Tree!

(MANNY GASPS)

(ALL YELP)

Everybody, jump!

(ALL GRUNT)

(ALL PANTING)

Whee!

MANNY:
The cave! Get inside!

Move! Move!

Whoa!

Whoa!

(GRUNTS)

(WHIMPERING)

(BOTH GASP)

MANNY:
Oh!

(PEACHES GASPS)

It's okay, sweetheart.

Daddy's...

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(CRASHING)

(ALL GRUNT)

Hey, it sounds like

it's slowing down.

Yup, it's definitely over.

(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)

Except for that one.

MANNY:
We might wanna think

about moving underground

for a while.

(SQUAWKING)

(PANTING)

(GRUNTS) Look at that!

I got an egg.

How many eggs did you poach,

little brother?

Do we have to steal

other creatures' eggs?

I mean, couldn't we

just go vegan?

Sure, we could eat vegans.

(GRUNTS)

Whoops! Oh-oh-oh!

(GRUNTS) Son,

sometimes I wonder

how you snuck

into this family.

BUCK:
(SINGING) Figaro, Figaro

(ALL GASP)

Figaro, Figaro, Figaro

With you in a minute.

I'll have to rinse and repeat.

(GRUNTS) That weasel

is such a buzzkill.

Let's go, kids.

Don't worry, ma'am.

I'll catch the crew

that poached your egg.

(SLURPS AND EXHALES)

(LAUGHS) It's a pun!

I'm winking under the eye patch.

(SINGING) A mother is crying

A damsel in distress

Foreboding intruders

Have made such a mess

What I detect

is a lack of respect

For all that is precious

and dear

I am the pint-sized protector

Of this lost world

But my friends call me Buck.

Well played, guys.

(GRUNTS)

I have a message,

bullies not welcome

Return what you've stolen

Go back where you came from

(VOCALIZING)

You know I'm greater,

so don't be a hater

You may be Jurassic,

but I am fantastic

(ECHOING) Figaro, Figaro,

Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro

Figaro

Oh, love that bit.

(GROWLING)

Running and climbing

And spinning and grinning

And dashing

and diving and dodging

And sliding and gliding

and staying alive

And these are

a few of the things

That I do before lunch

Death defying

Danger denying

Look, I'm flying

You might think I'm mad

But, hey, you only live once

No need to thank me

But if you insist,

I won't resist

Who smells like fish?

ALL:
Huh? (SNIFFING)

Hold on to your butts!

Class

(ALL SCREAMING)

Dismissed

(SLURPS AND EXHALES)

Good egg.

(TRICERATOPS BLEATING)

Here you are, my lady.

(GASPS)

(CHUCKLES)

Huh?

Go! I'll lead them away.

(GRUNTS)

Oh, that was fun!

Same time, same place,

next week?

Toodles! (LAUGHING)

Congratulations, weasel.

You just signed

your death warrant.

Weaseled my way out of that one.

Hmm. What's all that

flash and dazzle about?

Oh!

Who puts a rock in the

middle of the jungle?

Ow! (GRUNTING)

(BUCK SCREAMING)

Mmm.

Ooh.

(PANTING)

Ha!

(SNIFFS)

Blimey!

What is this place?

(CREAKING)

Whoops!

Hmm.

(GASPS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(DISTANT ROAR)

(ALL GASP)

Uh...

Hello?

(ECHOING)

(ROAR)

(SCREAMS)

(GROWLING)

(SCREAMS)

(GASPS)

(GRUNTS) Yeah!

Oh! Hello, mammals.

Hi, Buck!

Hi. (SCREAMING)

Bye, Buck!

BUCK:
Um, a little help.

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

Right on the spleen!

Utterly useless,

but totally hurts.

(LAUGHS) Hey, Buck.

Welcome back, buddy.

Wait. This half-a-snack

is the dinosaur whisperer?

And expert salsa dancer.

(SINGING)

(SALSA MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUSIC STOPS)

Whoo!

I have one eye

but all my original teeth.

Would you like to

count them? Ah...

No, thank you.

And this must be Nectarine.

Um... Peaches.

Semantics, my dear.

I am deeply honored.

Sweet eye patch.

Very gangsta.

Thank you.

I like this kid.

MANNY:
Buck.

Whoa!

What are you doing here?

Well, I... What?

I'm trying!

But how do you tell

someone they're doomed?

He's stumped. (LAUGHS)

We're not doomed, Buck.

It was just a meteor shower,

and the show's over.

Ahh!

Oh, quite the contrary,

old chap.

It's just beginning.

You see, I found a prophecy.

(DRAMATIC DRUMMING)

Do you mind?

Boy, he really sucks the fun

out of everything. Doesn't he?

Fun sucker!

I read this tablet

front to back.

And the story it tells

is very disturbing.

Every hundred million

years or so,

the world gets

a cosmic cleansing.

Before the dinosaurs,

there were these horseshoe

crab-looking thingies.

Ugh! Yuck.

Then, at the bottom

of this mountain range,

an asteroid hit.

Boom! Bye-bye.

Next, dinosaurs,

mountain range, asteroid.

Boom! Bye-bye.

And coming up next, mammals.

Mountain range, asteroid, boom!

Bye-bye.

(GIGGLES) Stupid mammals.

That's us.

(GASPS)

Mmm.

Yep, and there she is.

The mother of all asteroids

screaming towards us.

Even going underground

won't save us this time.

Hey, that wasn't there before.

And look what

it's doing to the sky.

No worries.

Because I've got a plan.

Really? To stop

an asteroid?

Look, the last two asteroids

have pummeled the earth

in the same spot.

And it's about to happen again.

We've got to go there

and see what's attracting

the asteroid.

Once we know why it's coming...

we can figure out how to

send it somewhere else.

That plan is so dumb,

I wish it had a face

so I could smack it.

Let me get this straight.

Instead of running away

from a deadly asteroid...

you want us to run

directly towards it?

I know it sounds suboptimal,

but the good news is...

it'll kill us

no matter where we went.

Well, that's reassuring.

Okay, but even if

we get to the crash site...

how are we supposed to change

what is literally

written in stone?

Ah, my cynical friend.

The dinos were wiped off

the face of the Earth,

but some escaped.

They changed their fate

and we can change ours, too.

Who's with me?

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

So, what do you think?

Honestly, I'm worried

the weasel's right.

(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) No!

Don't listen to the weasel.

He's a raving loon!

(LAUGHS) Sorry. I just love

playing devil's advocate.

And looking fabulous!

Well, Buck has saved

our lives before, right?

But what if he can't this time?

I don't know what to believe.

But I'm afraid

our lives will be over

before they begin.

(CHISELING)

Okay.

I guess we're in.

Crash and Eddie

reporting for duty.

(LAUGHS) Doody.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Excellent!

And dirty word processed.

Now, we better get on the road

because time till

impact is roughly...

2 days, 4 hours,

1 minute and 16 seconds.

15 seconds, 14 seconds...

I think we get it.

I think we're all gonna get it.

Whoo! We look so cool.

Whoa!

(CHUCKLING)

(COUGHING)

Ugh. What is this stuff?

(SCREAMING)

(EXHALES)

(GROANS)

(ROARING)

Where is he? When I am through

with that one-eyed weasel...

he's going to need

two eye patches.

I admire your

bloodthirstitude, Gertie.

But you heard them.

An asteroid is coming.

(LAUGHS)

This changes things.

(YELPS)

Holy snowballs!

It's freezing up here.

Parts are retracting

into other parts. (SCREAMS)

Would you please stop

acting like a parakeet?

It's a good thing you got

your mother's eyes...

or you'd be totally useless.

Well, that's just

hurtful. (SCREAMS)

(NECK CRACKS)

(SCREAMS)

What do you see?

(SIGHS) Nothing. Nothing.

(SCREAMING)

Deadly asteroid

screaming towards Earth.

Wait! There he is.

That's too bad.

He is really far away.

Probably too far

to reach by flight.

Oh, well.

Let's just go home.

We are not retreating!

Until that weasel came along...

our family made an honest living

stealing dino eggs.

An honest living. Stealing.

Kind of ironic, don't you think?

Besides, why take out the weasel

if the asteroid is

just gonna take us out?

So much sight.

So little vision.

If we stop the weasel

and his friends

from diverting the asteroid...

Kablooie!

It kills the weasel

and everyone else...

while we glide

safely above it all.

It'll be our paradise.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

That's seems highly implausible.

Just from

a scientific standpoint.

(BOTH GROWL)

Fine. It's a great plan.

Dynamite!

One of the top three or four

species annihilation plans

I've ever heard.

That's better.

Now let's make sure

that asteroid hits.

Why can't we just

fear the apocalypse

like a normal family?

(GASPS)

(EXCLAIMS)

(GRUNTING)

(EXCLAIMS)

(SNIFFS)

Whoa!

(SNIFFS)

(SCREAMS)

(GASPS)

Mmm.

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMING)

Mmm?

(SCREAMING)

(PANTING)

(GASPS)

(GROWLING)

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMING)

(TOILET FLUSHING)

(SCREAMING)

(SNIFFING)

What are you doing, Buck?

All rocks tell a tale.

Where we've been

and where we're heading.

(SNIFFING)

(BOTH GASP)

(BOTH SNIFFING)

Ah!

That, however, is a turd.

Julian...

I want you to know

that if we don't make it...

if we never get married...

you were the only one for me.

Hey, come on!

Of course we'll make it,

and we will get married.

But maybe it's the universe

telling us we won't.

SID:
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

You're going to let

one tiny little...

300-mile-wide asteroid

ruin your plans?

How can we think

about our future

when we may not have one?

Hey, we're going to

stop this thing

and you'll get married.

Bada-bing, bada-boom!

Well, not boom.

Forget I said boom.

(GASPS)

I know!

I'll be your wedding planner!

It'll take your mind

off all this

end-of-the-world stuff.

Actually, we were

just gonna wing it!

(CHUCKLES)

Keep it low-key.

What?

Peaches, Peaches.

Sweetheart,

you don't just wing the

happiest day of your life!

No, you seize it

and you cherish it.

You strangle it

with good intentions.

Ooh. Let's start

with your hair.

Updo with a top bun?

Traditional.

Or updo with a fishtail braid.

Flirtatious.

(GIGGLING)

But maybe a little trashy.

Ugh.

And garter belts!

Today, Ed is modelling

laced daisies.

While Crash is rocking

a more elegant ivy...

that's all about the calves.

Ooh. We need

a seating chart!

The singles table,

the kids table,

the weird relatives table...

the smelly table,

two more smelly tables.

(SCOFFS) Look at him.

JULIAN:
Oh,

you're gonna love it.

Who walks like that?

(MIMICKING JULIAN)

Oh! Look at me.

I'm Julian.

Forget the asteroid.

Gimme a hug, Bro-Dad!

(CLEARS THROAT) Look at

that pretty bird there.

(SQUAWKS)

Yeah! That is a pretty bird.

Good eye, Manny.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah.

The sky is literally falling...

and she thinks we're just gonna

let her stroll

into the wilderness...

with Mr. No Plans

Bouncy Walk.

Stop picking on him.

Come on, El, you're not

still mad at me, are you?

No. I'm not still mad.

Because that's not

how I want to spend

what could be our

final days together.

But if we somehow survive

that planet-killing

hunk of space rock...

you're in for it.

If we survive,

we lose our daughter.

Well, I've been thinking

about that, too.

What if...

Ooh. I know! We destroy

the relationship, right?

That way we never

have to let her go...

and she'll just stay

our little girl forever!

(LAUGHING)

No, you psychopath!

What if we convince them

to stay near us?

Oh! That's better.

I like it. But how?

The way we always

get her to do what we want.

We make her think it's her idea.

You sneaky, sneaky minx!

(GIGGLES)

Let's just hope

we haven't lost our touch.

Found it!

Behold, mammals!

A sneak preview

of the asteroid to come.

A space rock.

Fresh from the cosmos.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

I taste iron, carbon.

(GARGLES)

Oh! And a hint of nickel.

(SIGHS)

Space tastes lonely.

Hey, look!

I found another one.

Me, too!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Hmm...

Hey! Yours is

attracted to me.

No. Yours is

attracted to me.

(GRUNTING AND SCREAMING)

(EDDIE SOBS)

We're just too attractive!

Stupendous!

Now we have something

to play with

during our final hours.

You're missing the point, Tiger.

They're magnets.

And if these space rocks

are magnetic...

so is that.

This can only mean one thing.

And that would be...

Allow me.

(BOTH SCREAM)

Whoa!

Where are we?

(ECHOING) You are in my brain.

Hmm. Kind of chilly.

(CLEARS THROAT) Gentlemen,

here's what we know.

Space rocks? Magnetic.

Asteroid? Also, magnetic.

(GASPS) Famed astrophysicist

Neil deBuck Weasel!

He knows the cosmos.

Ipso facto, thusly and ergo...

the crash site must have

a heap of these things

attracting the asteroid.

Ooh. Pythagoras Buck.

He's got the right angle.

What if we use the magnets

to attract the asteroids

somewhere else?

As in, not towards Earth.

Theoretically speaking,

if we can launch enough

of these into space...

they will pull

the asteroid off course.

Thus, saving the world.

(ALL CHEERING)

So, we just need to

go to the crash site...

and launch a bunch of

rocks into space.

(CHUCKLES)

That's easy, right?

Oh, yeah. Sounds like

a real piece of cake.

This is progress!

Now we know exactly what

we don't know how to do.

Vamanos, mammals!

This trail will take us

directly to the crash site.

All right, kids.

(LAUGHS)

Let's have some fun.

(LAUGHS)

Oh!

(WHIMPERS)

Okay, everyone.

Follow the trail.

Never leave the trail.

(DISTANT SCREECHING)

Hmm?

(GASPS)

Okay, everyone.

Leave the trail.

Into the forest.

Chop, chop.

But you just said...

(STAMMERS)

You know I'm crazy. Come on.

(ROARING)

(GRUNTS)

(BUCK SCREAMS)

(ALL GASP)

(CLEARS THROAT) I love the shade.

Don't you?

Well played, weasel.

Stay sharp, kids.

They can't hide forever.

DIEGO:
Hey, Buck.

You have a suggestion

for getting around the river?

Let's see if the tablet's

ancient wisdom will guide us.

Hmm.

Hmm.

(GRUNTING)

(LAUGHS)

(ALARM BLARING)

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS)

(ECHOING)

Let my mammals pass!

That's never gonna work.

The ancients

grant us safe passage.

(CHUCKLES) Sweet!

(GRUNTS)

(SCREAMS)

Wow, the air feels strange.

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

Uh...

Diego?

Hmm...

(SNICKERING)

What?

(SID AND DIEGO LAUGHING)

(GRUNTS)

(LAUGHING)

(SCREAMS AND GRUNTS)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Finally! We have

superpowers!

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have wandered

into an electrical storm.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

I suggest we all

stay away from the trees.

Sure, no problem.

It's not like we're in a forest.

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Boy, Mother Nature sure

is in a bad mood lately.

Good thing we're all here

to help each other.

Oh, like I always say,

stay close, stay alive.

(THUNDER CRACKS)

(GASPS)

There they are!

Right out in the open.

(LAUGHS)

How stupid can you be?

Come on, kids. Dive!

Everyone, try not to create

any sort of friction.

No friction. Got it.

Yup. Cool beans.

Friction is what now?

Oh, no.

(ALL SCREAMING)

(YELPING)

Come on!

Let's get out of here.

(SID SCREAMS)

(BOTH SCREAM)

Hurry, Granny.

Don't you hurry me.

I've been struck by

lightning more times...

Ahh! Granny!

...than you've had

hot breakfasts.

(GRUNTING)

(GASPING)

(GRUNTS)

Peaches!

(SCREAMS)

Julian, don't move!

Oh!

I have an idea.

(GASPS)

I'm coming, sweetheart!

Julian, why aren't you

helping her?

Wait! No, Manny, she...

(BOTH SCREAM)

(GRUNTS)

Uh, what are you guys doing?

Helping?

What would "not helping"

look like?

Hey, zapheads!

Whoo!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Manny, get ready to run.

Come on, let's go!

(GRUNTS)

(BOTH CONTINUE SCREAMING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Everybody make it?

Shira, Manny, Crash,

Eddie, Ellie, Granny.

Aw, shoot!

I'm out of fingers.

Buck. Where's Buck?

Do you hear that?

A baby!

There's a baby in there!

Buck, wait!

It's too dangerous.

(BOTH GASP)

He's gone.

I can't believe it.

Don't know how we'll

go on without you, Buck.

All right, let's go.

(BUCK SCREAMING)

It's Buck!

(GROANING)

(GRUNTS) Huh?

I got you.

Don't worry, I got you.

There you are. There.

Say "hi," everyone.

ALL:
Huh?

Isn't she gorgeous?

How can he tell it's a she?

Oh.

Such a good

little poochie-woochie.

(CHUCKLES) Just to be clear,

that's a pumpkin, right?

She has a little jaundice,

but I think she'll be okay.

Yes, you will.

I think I'll call you...

Bronwyn.

Um, little buddy?

We need you back on planet Earth.

While it's still here. Okay?

Right you are, mammal.

Who wants to save the world

from the fiery asteroid?

(SNIFFING)

You do!

Hmm.

(SNIFFING)

BUCK:
Mmm...

Okay, mammals.

Let's stop here for the night.

Stop? What about the whole

end of the world

collision thing?

Oh, asteroid's still a day off.

And like my grandfather

used to say...

"Red sky at night,

sailor's delight.

"Purple sky at night,

who moved my foot cream?

"I need my foot cream."

Grampy was a confused

and angry weasel.

(JULIAN AND DIEGO LAUGHING)

DIEGO:
You are so funny, J.

Stop! You're funny.

Take it easy, my brother

from a tiger mother.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Hasta manana, J-man.

What was that?

What was what?

Oh, that! It's a cool way

to peace out.

Julian taught it to me.

Well, I'm glad the apocalypse

is bringing you together.

He's a good kid, Manny.

I like his philosophy.

Give him a chance.

Bond with him.

(SINGING)

So light 'em up, up, up

Light 'em up, up, up

Light 'em up, up, up I'm on fire

(GROANS) Bonding!

That's a good idea!

Oh, right. Got you.

You take Julian.

I got an idea for Peaches.

(HUMMING)

Hey, Bro-Kid.

Oh, hey, Bro-Dad.

You here to rock out?

(MIMICKING DRUMMING)

Okay. Instead of that...

how about a game before bedtime?

No way! You want to play

a game with me? Wow!

What is honored times 1,000?

No! Times one million?

'Cause whatever that equals,

is how honored I am.

So, is that a "yes"?

Yes, that's a "yes."

It's the most "yes"!

It's like "yes"

with a bunch of s's...

so it's like

"yessssssssssssssssssss."

Great!

(GRUNTING)

I'll see you on the ice!

(CHUCKLES)

Happy?

Whoa!

(GRUNTING)

Oh, boy.

(CLEARS THROAT)

So, do you think you're ready

to go out roaming on your own?

I won't be alone.

I'll have Julian.

Sure. But with

asteroids flying...

no home to speak of

and absolutely

no support system...

do you think

you'll be ready for...

this?

(GASPING)

I'm a wittle baby.

(BAWLING)

Imagine. You're in the woods,

looking for food...

and your baby gets sick.

What do you do?

Uh...

No! Jiggling makes

her feel worse!

(VOCALIZING)

(SCREAMS)

(BAWLING)

Oh, no! Now your

older toddler

has a skinned knee

and a stuffy nose.

Mommy, hold me!

Now your babies are crying.

You have no food and then

you come face to face

with a rabid beast!

(GROWLING)

I am a rabid beast who

gives rabies to babies.

(YELLING)

And there's an arsonist

on the loose.

(CACKLING)

(SCREAMING)

How are you going to handle

all this without our help?

(BOTH BAWLING)

(GASPS)

(SCREAMING)

(CACKLING)

Huh?

Ah!

(CRYING)

Ah!

(BAWLING)

Peaches, out!

That's just the easy stuff.

There's a lot more

we still need to cover.

Uh... Baby made a poopie.

(SPITS) I'm a method actor,

so I will need to be changed.

JULIAN:
Oh! So close!

These pucks go fast.

Just watch the puck

all the way into the stick.

Oh! I did it!

Too bad you and Peaches

are moving away.

If you stayed,

we could do this all the time.

Okay. Show me the heat!

I'm like a hockey ninja!

Hey, Peaches!

Looks like you got

a new hockey partner

to replace your dad.

(GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

Oh!

Oh, no.

Julian!

(SHIVERING)

Such a mystery why he

wants to move far away.

I didn't mean to do it.

It's not my fault

the kid has no reflexes.

PEACHES:
How could you

do that to him?

I thought you liked Julian.

I do like Julian.

Well, you don't act like it.

When you look at him,

all you see is an obstacle.

Or worse, a target.

But I see a sweet guy...

who's trying his hardest

to impress you.

Peaches.

No! Both of you, just stop!

If we survive,

I'm still getting married

and I'm still leaving home.

Whether you're happy

for me or not.

Don't give me that look.

She said both.

That means you, too.

And this widdle astewoid

went wee, wee, wee,

all the way home.

(DINO-BIRDS GASP)

ROGER:
Hey... (YELPS)

Eh...

Because Daddy and his

fwiends saved the world.

(MANNY EXHALES)

BUCK:
(SINGING) And if

that pterodactyl don't fly

Daddy's gonna blind

his remaining eye

(YAWNS)

Sweet dreams, little one.

(SIGHS) Lucky pumpkin!

It must be nice to

have a loving father.

Whoo.

Okay, here we go.

You can do this, Roger.

(CHUCKLES)

Yay! Kidnapping!

Look I'm sorry. It's not me.

I would never do

something like this.

It's my father. He's crazy.

I can't believe

he pulled it off!

Way to go, dum-dum!

Oh. Thanks, Dad.

Whatever! I could've

done the same thing.

(GROANS)

Well, well.

Looks like you're not

stopping that asteroid now,

are you, weasel?

(SNORING)

Huh?

That's not the weasel.

That's...

(YAWNS)

I don't know what that is.

Hmm.

Whoa!

Is it my time, angel?

Time for what?

(GASPS)

I'm coming to the light.

Can't wait to see all those

dead relatives I hate.

Ahh! Get it off!

Get it off! Get it off!

Go help your sister.

But, Dad... (SCREAMS)

Ahh! Demon angel!

(GROANING)

Mess with Granny,

get knocked on your fanny.

(GROANS)

(SCREAMS)

(GULPS)

And that's how

it's done. Hmm.

GRANNY:
Hello? Angel?

Am I in heaven?

It's so dark

and squishy in here.

Huh?

Oh, no! I can still

see the light.

(GASPS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Ow!

(SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

Pop! I'll save you.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Whee!

Hello!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(GROANS)

Oh, well.

Probably for the best.

Yeah, probably.

Definitely.

(SMACKING LIPS)

(BUCK GASPS)

(GASPS)

Crikey!

Mmm. (GASPS)

Good gravy, Buck.

What have you done?

All right, mammals.

Time to get moving.

Now let's not linger

on this, but, yes...

I read the tablet wrong.

The asteroid is a lot closer.

Uh-oh.

Wait a second.

Where's Granny?

Oh.

Granny? Oh, Granny?

Maybe she wandered off?

Maybe she got hit in

the head with a puck?

Yes! And maybe

she was abducted

by homicidal

30-foot dino-birds...

seeking revenge on me.

All good theories.

I'm going to go with the puck.

DIEGO:
I knew it!

So this whole time we've been

chased by giant dino-birds?

Oh, only three!

I didn't want to damage morale.

Right. Because before this,

we were on a carefree

pleasure cruise.

DIEGO:
Wait a second. (SNIFFS)

I've got her scent. Come on!

(SNIFFING)

Whoa!

BUCK:
Mammals, we've made it!

The crash site.

This must be what's left

of the previous asteroid.

Uh, Buck?

Your space rocks!

We could definitely

divert the asteroid

with a magnet that size!

I mean that thing is enormous.

It's massive, it's...

...going to be impossible

to get off the ground.

It's entirely possible.

In a way that we don't

know about yet.

But what about

the dino-birds?

And what about Granny?

(SNIFFS)

(SIGHS) Nothing.

I'm sorry, Sid.

(SNIFFLES)

Oh, Granny.

My sweet, malicious Granny.

Why does it always have to be

the old ones who go first?

Why?

(SOBBING)

(DISTANT SHRIEKING)

I can still hear her

sweet, shrill voice...

shrieking from the afterlife.

(SHRIEKING CONTINUES)

Granny's alive!

And she's in trouble!

Granny?

Granny?

Granny?

(DISTANT SCREAMING)

(BOTH GASP)

(MOANING)

Is she okay?

Uh, I'm not sure.

(CONTINUES MOANING)

Unhand my Granny!

You do and you don't get a tip.

Making this beautiful

sloth happy

is all the payment I need.

You see?

Hunky bunny gets it.

Granny!

There's a bunny

living in the asteroid?

Did not see that coming.

Wait till you see this!

Oh!

Whoo-hoo!

JULIAN:
Yeah!

Catching mad air

on the half-pipe!

This is crazy.

Do you think they know

they are living in

a magnetic bull's-eye?

Doesn't look like a lot of

doomsday prepping

going on in here.

BROOKE:
I can't believe it!

Visitors!

We've never had

visitors. (CHUCKLES)

Somebody pinch me.

Or should I pinch you?

Wait, I'll pinch both of us.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

Did I hit my head?

What's happening here?

I sure hope this

isn't a... Oh!

dream!

Dream Weaver

I believe you can

get me through the night

(WHISTLES)

(WHINNYING)

This guy? For real?

Whatever.

(YELPS)

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Hello, handsome.

I'm Brooke.

(CHUCKLING)

Ooh. Such exquisite

bone structure.

Such a strong jaw.

I'm getting butterflies!

I'm getting nauseous.

Sorry to interrupt this

weirdo love connection...

but we're kind of in a hurry.

If we don't do something fast...

that asteroid is gonna

blow us all to smithereens.

Oh. That sounds urgent.

I better take you to him.

Who's "him"? Your leader?

He is our everything.

BOTH:
He sees all.

He knows all.

And smells amazing!

Okay. He sounds great.

Let's go!

Brilliant.

Right this way.

(SID SCREAMING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

BUCK:
(LAUGHING) Whoo-hoo!

Yes!

(MANNY YELPING)

BROOKE:
Please keep

your arms and legs

inside the tram at all times.

But allow your spirit

to roam free...

in Geotopia.

I have a good feeling

about this.

Maybe he'll be able to help us.

She did say he knows all.

And all's a lot!

Here he is.

The Master of Meditation,

the Supreme Serene...

the four-time Heavy Thoughts

champion of the world!

(BANGS GONG)

(SPITS)

Is that a llama?

I hate llamas.

They spit and smell.

So does she.

BOTH:
So do we!

(LAUGHING)

Oh! (LAUGHING)

Greetings, mammals!

The Shangri Llama

will see you...

now.

Ooh. Wonderful.

So where is he?

He is here.

Talking to you.

Oh, I get it.

He's a ventriloquist

and you're the dummy.

No, you're the dummy.

No, you're the dummy.

No, you're the dummy.

This is the guy

that's going to save us.

Look within.

You're the dummy. (SPITS)

(GASPS)

Disgusting! Loved that!

New topic.

We're all about to die.

Well, that's no good.

Stress is a killer.

Let us loosen our limbs

and open our minds.

Downward Dog!

Uh... Seriously?

I'll wait. I have all the

time in the world.

(GROANING)

(GRUNTS)

Actually, you don't have

all the time in the world.

None of us do. You see,

there's this thing in the sky.

Oh. That blinding light

that seems to get

larger by the minute?

(LAUGHS) What about it?

Seems fine to me.

With all due respect,

Your Twistiness,

that's an asteroid.

It's magnetically

attracted to this place

and it's heading

straight for us.

(SPITS) Aha!

It must desire

our magnetic crystals.

Well, who can blame it?

They're really quite something.

Did you know their power

grants eternal youth?

I am over 400 years old.

Mmm-hmm.

That's not possible.

TEDDY:
Sure it is.

I'm 326! Whoo!

Huh? You don't look

a day over 275.

We are young, happy and safe.

And we always will be.

(ECHOING)

Thanks to Geotopia!

Kudos. It is lovely.

Now, let's figure out

a way to launch it into space!

I'm sorry. You want to

destroy our home?

It'll be destroyed either way.

But if we propel

this magnetic material

into the atmosphere...

we can change the asteroid's

path and save everyone.

What do you say?

Caterpillar!

So, is that a yes?

Or... (GASPS)

(GROANING)

Oh.

You are storing

a lot of hostility

in your lower spine.

Shangri Llama,

how are we gonna...

Funky Chicken. Jiggy Jelly.

Mashed Potato.

Your flexibility

is a sight to behold.

Now how the devil

are we going to

launch these crystals?

You can't.

It's impossible.

Whoo! I am bushed.

Awesome meeting you guys.

Feel free to hang or,

you know, whatever.

(SPITS)

Hmm.

That's it.

He was our last hope.

We're doomed.

Yeah. All we got

was a free yoga class.

(GRUNTING)

On that subject...

could you help me, please?

My nose is dangerously

close to my butt.

Uh, Sid, why do

you have two tails?

GRANNY:
I'm in here, too.

(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)

(PEACHES CRYING)

Hey, don't cry.

Look on the bright side.

We get to see our lives

flash before our eyes.

That means I get to

fall in love with you...

all over again.

(CHUCKLES)

Only you can make

the end of the world

sound like a good thing.

We did a good job raising her.

She's stronger than we know.

Two days ago, I'd have given

anything to keep her with us.

Now I'd give anything

just to see her get married,

and leave home.

Play with her kids,

dance with her husband.

Yell at him when he forgets

their anniversary.

(CHUCKLES)

ELLIE:
It was a good one,

wasn't it?

Our life?

You, me, and Peaches.

The best.

(PLAYING SOFT MUSIC)

SID:
Oh, Brooke.

You're so pretty.

You take my lisp away.

(CHUCKLES) I bet you

say that to all the girls.

I try. But usually

they run away too fast.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, you're such a romantic.

Hey, I know this is going to

sound super forward...

but will you be

my mate for life?

Oh, Brooke,

I don't know what to say.

It's only been twelve minutes.

What took you so long?

Yes! This has been

the best last day on Earth ever.

(GASPS) A diamond!

I need a diamond!

Where can I find a...

Oh! Perfect.

(STRAINING)

No, no, no.

Sid, sweetie, don't do that.

Nonsense. Only the best

for my one... true... love.

(GROANS)

(GASPS)

(CRYSTALS CLINKING)

Whoopsies!

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

No, no, no!

Oaf! Simpleton!

Nincompoop!

You talking to her or me?

That wall was the one thing

keeping us young.

Now we're all

doomed! Doomed!

(ALL GASP)

And now, I think I have a fever.

Thank you so much, doofus!

Hey! Easy there, Llama!

This is the doofus of my dreams.

He meant well.

Oh, he meant well.

Who cares?

(BOTH GASP)

So much for serenity.

300 years of

peace and harmony...

undone by one colossally,

incredibly...

stupendously stupid sloth!

(ALL GASP)

(GRUNTS)

Oh, Brooke.

Wow! You guys got old.

Whatever we had, it's over.

That's what happens when you

date a cougar. (SOBBING)

I'm really sorry, Mr. Llama.

(LAUGHS) Sorry. Sorry?

Sorry doesn't fix the wall now,

does it, you little...

(SCREAMS)

I need a bubble bath

or a massage.

Who knows acupuncture?

I need to let my

anger out. Let it out!

I've been pent up

too long. (SCREAMS)

I want to hit something.

Someone give me their face.

That's it! Pent-up energy.

Earth's most powerful

propulsion device

is right in front of us.

Who? Spitty McGee here?

(SPITS)

(SCREAMS)

The volcano!

That's our magnet launcher.

All we need to do is seal

the steam vents around it.

(HISSING)

That's a crazy plan!

You're a crazy plan.

That doesn't even

make any sense.

And what are you?

A professor of logic?

Professor Kitty McWhiskers

of the University

of Meow Meow Meow Meow...

(ROARS)

You see? Tremendous pressure

leads to a tremendous explosion.

And you call yourself

a professor.

Right. We need

all the crystals

loaded into the volcano, pronto.

SHANGRI LLAMA:
What? No!

I'm not giving you my crystals.

We need them to

rebuild our sanctuary.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(WHISTLES) May I remind you

Geotopia is not yours to keep.

No, you may not.

It came from the sky,

and now it's time

to give it back.

Is not!

Is too, you old coot.

Change isn't easy,

but it's part of life.

It's time for us

to embrace it again.

Whether you like it or not.

Not!

Listen, Llama, I will go

nuts and granola on your butt!

So either get on board...

or go twist yourself

into a pretzel

and na-ma-stay

out of our way.

Come on, everybody.

Grab every crystal you can find.

ANIMAL:
Totally,

let's do it!

And remember,

lift with your legs.

(BONE CRACKS)

(GRUNTS) Too late.

(GROANS)

Listen up,

planetary defense team.

Step one, build pressure

inside the volcano

by sealing the vents.

No steam can escape.

If there's a leak...

the pressure is weak.

Step two, get the biggest

magnetic crystals

into the volcano.

They've got to be

launched sky high

to pull the asteroid off course.

(GRUNTS)

Heave!

ALL:
Ho!

Heave!

ALL:
Ho!

BOTH:
Rah rah! Sis boom bah!

Tell that asteroid "Uh-uh."

Whoo!

Asteroid!

WhatDoesHashTagMean?

IDon'tKnowButltSoundsCool!

Totally!

I'mStartingToGetSickOflt!

This is it, friends.

Down the hatch.

Every crystal counts.

(ALL GRUNTING)

Good news, everyone!

We're six minutes

ahead of schedule.

(ALL CHEERING)

Somebody up there likes us.

(SCRAT GRUNTING)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(SCREAMING)

(GASPS)

Bad news! Somebody up there

doesn't like us.

We're six minutes

behind schedule!

(ALL GASP)

Double time, everyone.

We need that big crystal.

(GRUNTING)

Oh. Hey, Bro-Dad!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(JULIAN GASPS)

(SCREECHING)

(ALL YELPING)

(GRUNTS)

(BOTH GASP)

We got company!

Ooh. I'll put out

the sponge cake.

(SCREECHING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

BUCK:
Steady.

Steady. (GRUNTS)

Sorry about this.

I'm really conflicted right now.

(ALL GASP)

That's more like it, Roger.

Now finish him.

Wait! Wait,

you don't understand.

You see that?

If that asteroid hits,

we all die.

(MOCKING) If it hits,

we all die.

(MOCK CRYING)

(LAUGHING)

That's where you're wrong.

See, while you run

for your mammal lives...

we'll be high in the sky,

cruising above it all.

That's the stupidest thing

I've ever heard!

We'll be as safe

as those little birdies.

(BIRD SQUAWKS)

Lucky shot.

(BIRDS SQUAWK)

Very lucky shot?

(ALL GASP)

I knew it. I was right.

There's no paradise.

What? I'm too young

to go extinct! (SCREAMS)

She gets it! Now, please,

we haven't got much time!

What are you waiting for?

Kill him!

No, Dad. I won't let you.

Do you want to know what

I love about our family?

That we're alive.

There are more important things

than your pride right now.

If you care about us...

you should not kill him.

You should help him, Dad.

Pop, I hate to say this,

but my freaky little

brother may be right.

As a father, I would

work with my worst enemy...

to ensure a brighter future

for my little one.

(GROWLS SOFTLY)

Reinforcements have arrived!

All right, Roger.

Lead the way.

(MIMICKING HELICOPTER)

(ALL CHEERING)

Oh! So that's what

approval sounds like.

BUCK:
Keep it up, dinos.

Use that Jurassic

super strength!

Beep, beep, beep.

(GASPS)

Watch out, kids! (GRUNTS)

(SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

The weasel has landed.

(GASPS) I'll push it in.

Go with Peaches and Ellie!

(GRUNTING)

JULIAN:
No!

I'm not leaving you!

We'll do this together!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Mom, where are they?

(ALL GASP)

Ellie, we've got to get

everyone off the volcano.

Folks, I'm outta cake,

but I got salami!

Faster, faster!

I'mouttacakebutlgotsalami!

Granny, come on!

Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

This isn't working.

Mad air on the half-pipe!

Manny, I have a plan!

We have to let

the crystal go!

You know we're trying to

get it in the volcano, right?

Manny, the only thing I want

is a life with Peaches.

And to prove myself to you.

So, okay, two things.

I want two things.

Do you really think

I'd waste the only

chance I have left?

Okay, let's do it!

On my count. One...

Two...

Three!

(GRUNTS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

What are they doing?

(ALL GASP)

Did it work?

Yes! I take back everything

I ever said about you!

(LAUGHS) Wait, what?

(GASPS)

Huh?

(RUMBLING)

Now let's get out of here!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

What happened?

Maybe it's the quiet

before the crazy?

(STEAM WHIZZING)

Hmm.

(ALL GASP)

(BOTH GASP)

(ALL GASPING)

(YELPING)

Eddie!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

(YELPS)

(ALL WHIMPERING)

We did it. We did it!

(ALL CHEERING)

(MANNY LAUGHS)

In your face,

space rock!

Yeah, baby! (LAUGHS)

Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Oh!

(SWOONS)

Hmm.

Not on the lips, geezer!

(BOTH CHEERING)

(SINGING) Hit the road,

you stupid rock

We just stopped

the doomsday clock!

Yes! Yeah! Whoa!

All right!

Bring it in, Bro-Son.

Welcome to the family.

(CHUCKLES)

And you, you coconut!

I'll never doubt you again.

See? Daddy's always right.

Remember that when you're older.

(ALL CHEERING)

Are you sure

you can't come with us?

Oh, Sidney, I wish I could.

But we both know

this is for the best.

You've got your whole life

in front of you.

Besides, I'll have Granny

to keep me company.

(GASPS) You're staying, too?

Are you kidding?

This place is great!

Tonight's the big talent show,

and tomorrow, naked bingo!

You coming, Gladys?

I ain't getting

any younger! Whoo!

What? I can't hear you!

What? I can't hear you!

What?

You'll always be

my one true love.

Here.

Wow!

Hold on.

(HUMMING)

(BROOKE LAUGHS)

It looks just like you.

Now we'll be with

each other forever.

So long, handsome!

Bye, Sidney!

What you need is more fiber.

He's right.

(EXCLAIMING)

(LAUGHS JOYFULLY)

Shangri Llama's

back on top, baby!

Ooh. Ah! Mmm.

(GASPS)

Gladys?

Well, hello Teddy Bear!

Mmm-hmm.

Hot tubbin' just got

a whole lot hotter.

Amazing!

It's like some kind of

"Fountain of

Never Getting Old!"

Well, we can workshop

the name later.

(SIGHS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Where's the bride?

Why don't I have the bride?

'Cause you're talking

into a twig.

(GROANS) Mom, I can't talk.

I'm at a wedding.

WOMAN:
What do you mean

you can't talk?

Who are you with?

Um, excuse me.

Is it true you helped save

the world from an asteroid?

Um...

That's a very scary story.

You think you can handle it?

BOTH:
Yeah.

How scary?

Well, we were... Oh!

Oh!

Hi! (CHUCKLES)

It was five minutes

to midnight...

and we were up

against volcanoes,

dino-birds,

and the end of the world.

Oh, and the zombies!

Don't forget the zombies!

You know, we'd be great parents.

So I turn to Bigfoot, and I say,

"Listen, big guy..."

I don't know. I don't know!

What am I gonna do?

Sweetie, listen to me.

This is normal, okay?

Everyone gets nervous.

What's going on?

What happened?

PEACHES:
It's just...

I can't go. How can I go?

I don't wanna leave you guys.

Hey, Fuzzball...

remember the first time

that we played hockey?

You were so afraid

to get on the ice

because it was slippery?

Remember how I held you up

while you started to skate?

And when I knew you were ready,

I let you go.

(SIGHS) Aw, Dad.

I know you're ready.

Now you have to let go.

I always knew it would take

someone very special

to match your spirit.

And you found him.

Just like I did.

It's your time, sweetie.

See the world,

chase your dreams.

MANNY:
And whenever you

decide to come back...

we'll be here, okay?

(CHUCKLES)

Okay.

Oh. (LAUGHS)

(ALL GASPING)

Do you...

I do.

And do you...

Most def.

I now pronounce you...

(ALL CHEERING)

(SIGHS)

(GASPS)

(GASPS) Sid!

Brooke!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Oh! Whoa! Ow!

Oops!

This is amazing!

You're young again.

And somehow, I'm still single.

I guess the universe

was smiling on us.

I have so many

questions for you.

What happened?

How'd you find me?

Have you tried the shrimp?

Shh. Close that pretty

little mouth of yours

and just listen.

This is dedicated to

the sloth of my dreams.

That guy? For real?

(SINGING) Oh

Oh, Sid

Sid, baby

You make me so happy

Oh, I never knew I

Would make it out

And come this far

Oh, I never knew I

Would see the day

We come together

Oh, it's not like anything

I've ever...

Whoa!

(MUSIC STOPS)

(ALL GASP)

(FAINTS)

(MUSIC RESUMES)

You

You make me happy

You keep me laughing

You make my world

a better place

My superstar

My superstar

You shine so bright

Into my heart

My superstar

My superstar

You shine so bright

Into my heart

My super crew

Stick together like super glue

We got the moves like, yeah

We're shining bright

Throw your hands up

to the blue sky

You

You make me happy

Sid?

I never thought I'd say this,

but you did a great job

on the wedding.

I owe you bigtime, pal.

You sure do.

Here's my bill.

What?

Father of the bride

pays for the wedding.

It's a tradition

I just invented.

Wait a minute,

this is ridiculous.

Look what you're

charging for flowers!

Flowers ain't cheap.

No! They're free!

We're in a forest!

This bill is outrageous!

NEIL deBUCK WEASEL: Mars.

The Red Planet.

Cold, dry, inhospitable to life.

But billions and billions

of years ago...

Mars looked like this.

There were lakes,

rivers, oceans...

the perfect conditions

for life to form.

So, what happened?

Why was life

unable to take hold?

(TRILLS)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

Where did the water go?

We may never know.

(COUGHING)

(SNIFFING)

(WHISTLING)

(MY SUPERSTAR PLAYING)

Oh, I never knew I

Would make it out

And come this far

Oh, I never knew I

Would see the day

We come together

Oh, it's not like anything

I've ever felt before

Yeah, baby

You

You make me happy

You keep me laughing

You make my world

a better place

You

You are my rainbow

You color my day so bright

I wanna stay forever

with my superstar

My superstar

You shine so bright

Into my heart

My superstar

My superstar

You shine so bright

Into my heart

My love, my love, my love

You're shining

into my heart, heart

(SIGHING)

(SCREAMS)

(GASPS)

(GROANING)

(SCREAMING)

(GASPING)

(SCREAMING)

(SIGHS)

(EXCLAIMS IN DELIGHT)

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

(SCOFFS)

(SCREAMS)

(SCRAT GROANING)

(MY SUPERSTAR PLAYING)

Oh, I never knew I

Would have it all

Would have it all

Oh, I never knew I

Would feel so good

Would feel the full

Oh, I never knew I

Would live the dream

It's so, so real

Oh, I never knew I

Would see the day

We'd come together

Oh, it's not like anything

I've ever felt before

Before, before

You

You make me happy

You keep me laughing

You make my world

a better place

You

You are my rainbow

You color my day so bright

I wanna stay forever

with my superstar

My superstar

You shine so bright

Into my heart

My superstar My superstar

You shine so bright

Into my heart

My love, my love, my love

My love, my love, my love

You're shining

into my heart, heart

You're shining bright,

bright, bright, bright

You're shining so bright

My love, my love, my love

My love, my love, my love

You're shining into my heart

Yeah, yeah

You

You make me happy

You keep me laughing

You make my world

a better place

You

You are my rainbow

You color my day so bright

I wanna stay forever

with my superstar

My superstar

You shine so bright

Into my heart

You're shining into my heart

(DREAM WEAVER PLAYING)

Ooh, Dream Weaver

I believe you can

get me through the night

Ooh, Dream Weaver

I believe we can reach

the morning light

Though the dawn

may be coming soon

There still may be some time

Fly me away

to the bright side of the moon

And meet me

on the other side

Ooh, Dream Weaver

I believe you can

get me through the night

Ooh, Dream Weaver

I believe we can reach

the morning light

Dream Weaver

Dream Weaver

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