Idiot's Delight Page #2

Why did you holler out like that

tonight and ruin the act ?

Anybody could see

that she was in an alcoholic fog.

So thick that your signals couldn't get through.

I knew what you were trying to say.

How did you know that ?

I've been watching your act, Mr. Van.

I couldn't help picking up some of the code.

I mean, your tone of voice when you say...

... "Concentrate".

There are subtle changes that mean different things.

Where did you learn words like "subtle" ?

I haven't always been an acrobat, Mr. Van.

I attended the University in Vienna.

I worked with Freud, Jung, all the great teachers.

From the University in Vienna to the Eldorado in Omaha.

Some jump.

Yes.

That's been my whole life.

Today the mountain tops, tomorrow the Dead Sea.

Yeah, I guess you're right, sister.

But you haven't yet explained

why you tried to please Madame Zuleika.

I had to, Mr. Van, because...

... because I have a great admiration for you.

You liked my electrical personality, hm ?

No, nothing as obvious as that.

I think you have a very remarkable brain.

So you've noticed that too, eh ?

I also have a very remarkable brain.

Yeah, but a very remarkable way of talking

for a girl who makes her living swinging by her teeth.

I was born for excitement, adventure, danger.

I've had all of them.

I'll have a lot more

before I come to a violent death.

So you've even got that arranged.

Well...

So what are your plans for supper ?

Oh, Mr. Van.

Are you inviting me ?

Don't look at me like that.

I'm only offering to buy you a cup of coffee...

... because I appreciate your kind motives

in busting up our act tonight.

That's very sweet of you, Mr. Van.

I'll get dressed right away.

I'll be proud to be seen in a restaurant with you.

This place, "Eats".

What beautiful simplicity in those words.

They tell a whole story.

Yeah.

How you are, Mr Van ?

You are, lady ?

Special tonight, corned bee hash.

Corned beef hash is always special.

Give me a cup of coffee and some donuts.

What'll you have, babe ?

Oyster stew.

Are the oysters strictly fresh ?

Sure, we fly them in every day

from Baltimore in aeroplane.

Oyster stew.

Oyster stew.

And I'll have corned beef hash with two poached eggs,

whole wheat toast butter then grade A milk.

Aren't you gonna have some dessert ?

Oh, yes. I'll order that later.

I guess you have to eat a lot to keep

your teeth in training for that iron jaw act, eh ?

Yes.

In old Russia we used to serve an entire roast ox before lunch.

Just as an hors d'oeuvre.

You certainly lived on a big scale, babe.

My name isn't Babe.

It's Irene.

Don't worry about that. I call everybody babe.

Perhaps that's why I don't like it.

I'm not everybody.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

I should have realized, you're pretty exclusive.

I am.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Mr. Van.

That's all right. I'm not seriously injured.

You see, I was really born to live in a palace.

So it isn't always easy to adjust myself to as dark a place as Eats.

Well, here's your food.

Perhaps that'll help the adjustment.

85 cents.

She hasn't finished ordering yet.

Careful how you handle those knees.

Ouch !

Yeah, you gotta do it like this.

That's a technique you learn

after you get the Ritz out of your mind.

Oh, I haven't got a table napkin.

I'll get one.

Ain't one napkin enough ?

Not for a repast like this.

Thank you very much, Mr. Van.

Listen, Irene, you can discard the Mr. Van.

My name's Harry.

But I don't like Harry.

What's the matter with it ?

It sounds cheap.

Isn't your name Henry ?

No. And it isn't Harold either.

Very well, Harry.

Whatever I call you, I think you're sweet.

Eat your stew.

Where did you get your education, Harry ?

What makes you think I got one ?

Oh, I know you have. You're like me.

You're a student of life.

Well, I worked my way

through college selling encyclopedias.

I knew you had culture.

What college was it ?

No college in particular.

You know, my line of selling talk was so good

I fell for it myself.

I bought the whole bunch of encyclopedias

and read them cover to cover.

Here. Try the hash.

Oh, there isn't any ketchup.

No, so there isn't.

Excuse me, babe.

You're so very kind.

Yeah, I think you're right.

You know, it makes my blood boil.

I mean, it makes me so furious to think that you're only a...

What is the word for it ?

Word for what ?

Stooge. That's it.

A stooge for that drunken old hag.

Hey, choose your words more carefully, babe.

I tell you my name is Irene.

Whatever it is, no cracks out of you about Madame Zuleika.

She's a very wonderful, wonderful woman.

A genius.

And besides that, I'm not a stooge.

I'm the one who does the real brain work in the act.

You know, Harry, I could learn that code easily.

You think so ?

I know I could.

I don't know. It's a very deep, complicated scientific problem.

We'd be perfect together, you and me.

I can see the electric sign

shining over Picadilly Circus in London.

It reads Irene, Irene the Great.

Assisted by Harry Van.

You got a nice billing there.

You'd love London.

I was there as a little girl

after I escaped from the Soviets.

That was a terrible exerience.

I must tell you about it, Mr. Van.

All right, but you've got four shows tomorrow,

and seeing as you're still an acrobat

you'd better get some sleep.

Do you know that song ?

It's Kaak Strana. It's Russian.

It's so lovely.

It takes me back so far

to the Winter Palace in Petersburg.

That means "How Strange."

It tells such a sad, beautiful story

about two people who meet...

... and fall in love for one exquisite moment.

And then they part.

Like ships that pass in the night.

How strange.

When will you teach me the code, Harry ?

We'll get together soon

and run over the fundamentals.

Hiya, Frank.

Good evening, Mr. Van.

Good evening, Miss Irene.

Hello, Harry.

Hi, Ed. Hi, Bert.

Well, good night, babe.

Do we have to say good night ?

Yes, we do. I'm going to join the boys

for a little political discussion.

All right, Harry. Good night.

Good night.

Thanks for giving me such a good time.

Oh, thank you, Irene.

I always enjoy seeing a woman eat.

Don't forget now.

Brush your teeth carefully, tuck yourself in

and have sweet dreams of old Russia.

Hod did the show go tonight ?

Just as usual. A sensation.

It's always warm, Harry.

Yes, we got a very warm reception tonight.

In fact, I'm still burning.

Go for a little drink ?

Bert here's got some pre-war rye.

Yeah, pre to the next war.

But it's all right, though.

I know the guy who made it.

No, thanks, Bert. I'm going to bed.

I gotta think about my art.

Yeah, we know all about your art...

Good night.

Good night.

Thank you very much, sir.

It will be returned imediately.

Now, what is it ?

What am I holding, Madame ?

A key.

What kind of a key ?

A key to a room.

A man's room.

Very good, Madame.

What else can you tell me about it ?

Come, come, Madame. Concentrate.

There are numbers on it.

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