Idiot's Delight Page #3

Magic, mystic numbres.

Yes, yes.

I read in the book of fate 274.

Very good, Madame. Very good.

Thank you very much, sir.

Who gave you permission

to wrap my best sock around your head ?

When it comes to that,

how did you get in here at all ?

All the keys in this hotel fit all those doors.

So you've been experimenting, huh ?

Well, what do you want now ?

Please teach me the code, Harry.

No.

I tell you I could learn it. I know I could.

I know part of it already.

When you were talking about

Mr. McCreevy's wife in the audience...

... and you said... Now...

... that means the number is 1.

"Can't" means 2.

When you said "Now, can't you concentrate ?",

that is 1-2, which is 12 and 12 is a vanity case.

And "Concentrate" means...

Where did you find out all these things ?

Well, I... just figured it out by psychology.

You're lying through those pretty teeth.

You've been snooping.

Well...

Where did you get that coat ?

I suppose I might as well tell you.

You'd better.

So you stole it, huh ?

Don't you realize the American Society of Magicians

could put thieves like you in jail ?

Why Harry, I only went into the dressing room to see Mr. Barzek...

... and I made friends with little Mumpo

and the coat was lying there so I just...

... well... I just borrowed it.

Please forgive me, Harry.

Can't you understand

that I just want to improve myself ?

I want to be someone.

And if I could only work with you,

be your partner then I...

Sure. You'd have your name up in lights in London.

"Assisted by Harry Van."

You're a funny kid at that.

I gotta admit it. And maybe you're right.

Maybe you do deserve something better

than just being an acrobat.

But unfortunately I haven't the time to teach you the whole code.

However, I'll tell you what I'll do.

What, Harry ?

I'll read you something out of the encyclopedia.

This is the article about the subject of truth.

"Truth is the ideal of perfection for which all artists,

scientists and philosophers have striven.

The poet Keats wrote: Beauty is truth. Truth beauty.

That's all you know on earth

and all you need to know.

However, various philosophers,

notably the early Greeks, have argued that..."

Watch yourself, please.

How much is this piece of junk ?

75 cents.

75c... six bits ?

That's right.

That thing isn't worth more than a nickle.

Are you crazy ?

I'm sorry, brother. I didn't write the prices.

I'm only here to repeat them.

OK, pal. I'll take the phony thing.

Which proves I'm crazy too.

You're right again.

Don't mention it.

Well, babe, it seems we have to say goodbye.

You're going north to Sioux Falls

and I'm heading south on the Interstate.

Train's pulling out in a few minutes.

Do you think we'll ever see each other again, Harry ?

Maybe we will and maybe we won't.

You can't predict anything in show business.

Or in any other kind of a life, I suppose.

No, I guess not.

But I'll be thinking about you, babe.

Oh, I'm sure you will.

As a matter of fact

I'd like to know that you're thinking

about me a little bit too.

I guess it's a mistake in show business

to remember anything except the part

you're about to play.

Yep. Well, even so...

I got you something.

What is it ?

I don't know what it is.

You hang neckties on it, I guess.

It's just a souvenir, see ? Says so here: Souvenir Omaha.

Did you buy it for me, Harry ?

Yes. Certainly I did.

What's more, it cost 75c.

That's the most expensive present I ever bought for any dame.

What made you want to buy a present for me, Harry ?

I don't know. It's against my principles.

But you know, Irene ?

I've met a lot of dames in my time...

... and most of them are so dumb

you have to talk to them in sign language.

You're the only one I've met I couldn't answer.

That's because I'm the only one that recognizes you

for the great man that you are.

Great man, huh ?

Great bust.

Tried everything, failed at everything.

But you don't see it that way, babe,

because the world you live in

isn't a world of facts and figures...

It's a world of dreams.

That's what I like about you, Irene.

You're so beautifully phony.

And maybe you're wrong, my darling.

Maybe we two cheap people with our cheap lives...

... maybe we're the only ones

in this crazy world who are real.

12:
34 train for Sioux City,

Sioux Falls

We gotta be pulling out now, babe.

We gotta be pulling out, I know,

but not together.

No, not together, you go your way and I go mine.

But I got a hunch we'll see each other again, some time.

Yes, Harry.

Goodbye, Harry.

Goodbye, Irene.

Thanks for the souvenir.

Hello, Harry, dear.

Hello, Madame.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Irene.

What are they talking about, Harry ?

How should I know ?

But you're always saying you know the language.

The last time I said that was when we were in Romania

and that was six countries ago.

When are we gonna get to a decent place to sleep ?

When we get to Geneva.

Excuse me, countess.

What's the trouble now ?

Another frontier, I guess.

That's my analysis of what's the trouble with Europe,

there are too many frontiers that keep waking you up.

Skip it.

What did he say, Harry ?

I'll ask him.

So what's the word, pal ?

I guess we're supposed to get out here.

Come on, we gotta get the baggage, girls.

Is this Geneva ?

Does it look like Geneva ?

I don't know.

Oh, Harry, I'm so cold.

I'm freezing...

I'm so glad to know you, Mr. and Mrs. Cherry.

It was awfully kind of you

to come down and meet us.

It was a pleasure, I assure you.

And I think I can assure you that your stay

at the Montaloda Hotel will be a thouroughly enjoyable one.

Civilized people at last.

Come on girls, follow me.

The hotel porters are attending to your luggage.

If you'll just step into the bus...

Hey, listen pal, you're an American, aren't you ?

I am, Don Navadel's the name.

Harry Van's mine.

Mr. Van, I sure am glad to know you.

Glad to see you.

Anything I can do for you ?

Yeah, we'd like to know what's the idea.

The idea ? Of what ?

Kicking us off the train, pushing us around.

Are you all here, girls ?

Wait a minute, one two, three, four, five...

Six. Yes. we're all here.

We're entertainers at nightclubs,

we're trying to get to Geneva, Switzerland.

Well, there's rather serious trouble just now here at this frontier.

Say, perhaps you and the young ladies

would like to come up to our hotel for a little while...

... till this situation has been cleared up.

Yeah, Harry, let's go to the hotel.

We'd like to sleep in a bed for a change.

No, we're not stopping at any hotel. We got to get to Geneva.

Look, Harry.

Look what they're doing to our trunks.

Excuse me.

Wait here, girls.

Hey, hey !

Would you please be a little more

careful with those trunks ?

They contain the wardrobe of my act.

Yeah, I'll take vanilla.

Hey, listen buddy,

will you please tell me

what I'm supposed to do with these trunks ?

Excuse me, my friend.

Another white man in this jungle ?

How do you do ?

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