Idiot's Delight Page #5

they rubbed it out and translated it.

So now he's a foreigner too.

Excuse me, Mr. Van, that fine car

coming up the road must be rich people.

I'll be needed at the door.

Excuse me, please.

We have your reservation.

Thank you. Pardon me.

You're gonna be with us for a long stay, madame ?

Oh, no. I'm afraid Mr. Weber must go on at once.

But I should love to stay here in these mountains.

They're so quiet, so cold and impersonal.

We have a marvelous view from here.

This is our cocktail longe.

Very nice.

Achille, you must come and see this charming crew.

In a moment, my dear.

And from our terrace,

on a clear day you can see for 50 miles.

It really is a view of unparalelled beauty.

Oh, magnificent !

Covered with the beautiful white snow.

I think the whole world

should always be covered with snow.

It would be so much more clean, wouldn't it ?

Like in my Russia.

White Russia.

You should see the snow from the terrace, madame.

Oh, and how exciting. A flying field.

Look. All those big bombers.

There are so many of them.

Isn't it miraculous ?

Madame is interested in aviation ?

No, no.

Just ordinary flying, sportsy.

But there is no experience in life quite so thrilling...

... as a parachute jump, is there ?

I've never had that thrill, I'm ashamed to say.

Once I had to jump when I was flying over the jungle.

It was indescribable.

Frisking down, sinking into that great

green sea of enchantment and hidden danger.

And you weren't afraid ?

No, no. In moment like that,

one is given the sense of eternity.

Yes, sir.

Hm ?

Oh, get me a scotch.

And put ice in it.

If you haven't got any ice,

go out and scoop up some of that beautiful, white snow.

Yes, sir.

But your place is really charming.

I must tell everyone in Paris about it.

We are rather proud of it.

There is something about this design.

It suggests...

... an amusing kind of horror.

It is like somebody's tomb, isn't it ?

What's that ?

It's merely some kind of warning. They're testing it.

Warning ? Warning against what ?

I believe it's for use in case of war.

War ?

But there will be no war.

Achille.

Yes, Irena.

There will be no war, will there ?

No, there'll be no war.

They're all too much well prepared.

Ah, there, you see ?

They will not fight.

Mr. Weber say so, and he know.

Wish to see your suite now, Mr. Weber ?

Yes, if you please.

Achille, I am mad about this place.

We must be sure to tell everyone about this place.

We must make it fashionable at once.

Say, who is that ?

That's Achille Weber,

one of the biggest men in Europe.

I used to see him often at St. Moritz.

No, who's the dame ?

I assume she's his wife.

You only assume it, eh ?

Are you implying that she's not ?

No, I'm not implying anything.

I'm just being kind of bewildered.

Evidently.

White Russia.

Parachute jumper.

Put it down there.

Very good, sir.

Thanks, pal.

Bitte, mineral wasser.

Ya wohl, herr doktor.

Old museum piece. Period of Louis XV.

You gotta hoard your gum over here.

What is that you're playing ?

It's an old Russian song entitled Kaak Strana

Meaning "How Strange".

One of those morose ballads about

how once we met for one immortal moment.

Like ships that pass in the night.

Or maybe like a couple of drunks sideswiping each other.

And now, I got a hunch we meet again.

How strange.

I'm afraid I was rude to you before.

Aw, that's all right, pal.

I've been rude to lots of people and never regretted it.

Sorry you should worry about a punk like me.

You've got important work to do for the benefit of humanity.

You too work for humanity, Mr. Van.

Me ?

Yes, you are a musician.

That's a nice name for it.

I used to play piano in picture theatres

when that was the only sound they had...

... except for peanuts.

Listen to this.

The waters of the Minetawk...

... suitable for scenics, Niagara Falls by moonlight.

Or if you can play it like this...

Goes fine with the scene when the young Indian Chief

turns out to be a Yale man.

I've turned my head to about everything,

including your line of business.

My business ?

Yeah, Dr. Maltese's elixir, the medical remedy.

A remedy for what, may I ask ?

It was a cure for almost everything.

All my life I've been selling phony goods

to people of meager intelligence and great faith.

Hey Harry, have those officers come up here yet ?

Not yet.

Don't be discouraged.

Sit down.

I'm feeling in a generous mood.

I'm gonna buy you all a drink.

What ?

It's only my bracelet, Achille.

Because you like them.

My dear, there's certainly nobody else

in this dismal hotel who can appreciate your charms.

We'll have dinner in there.

Did you get your telephone call ?

Yes, I spoke to Falvero.

He was very apologetic over this delay.

But everything is arranged for us to proceed tomorrow.

Oh.

I think I shall go downstairs and have a glass of vodka.

But why, we can have it sent up here.

No, Achille...

... I would prefer to have it down there.

With all those gentle people gaping at you ?

I don't mind. I love people.

I shall come right back.

I will go with you. It may be amusing.

Good afternoon, madame.

Good afternoon, Mr. Weber.

Good afternoon, Mr. Navadel.

It is a lovely view.

It is like a landscape on the moon.

Get a load of that.

Isn't she gorgeous ?

I bet you she's a duchess.

Well, anyway, a princess.

Hey, Harry, what are you looking at ?

She looks to me like a phony.

Hi, Cap.

Good afternoon, ladies.

Where's all of your boyfriends, Cap ?

Excuse me a moment, please.

Mr. Weber, Madame.

Captain Kirvline, Commandant of the frontier station.

How do you do ?

Captain.

Just received instructions that you were here, Mr. Weber.

I am to be of assistance to you in every possibe way.

Thank you very much. Won't you join us ?

Thank you, sir.

What would you like ?

Brandy and soda, please.

Irena ?

Vodka, if you please.

Vermouth for me.

If you please, sir.

Where are they going, Achille ?

Probably moving to another airbase farther from the frontier.

Isn't that so, Captain ?

Yes, I imagine so.

Are they gonna keep that up forever ?

They're gonna have to get us some ear muffs, Harry.

Hello, Mr. Quillary. Sit down and have one.

I'm buying.

Keep drinking and be merry, for tomorrow we starve.

Except for breakfast.

I've just heard some very ugly rumors down in town.

They say that war has already been declared.

Rumors, rumors, everything's rumors.

When are we going to know ?

Soon enough, heaven help us.

But we'll stop this war.

We'll save the human race from plunging

into a mass murder, mass suicide.

Say, what's your line of business, Mr. Quillary ?

I'm a preacher, Mr. Van.

You don't say so, a preacher, huh ?

But not in a church.

I used to be a worker in an industry that made poison gas.

It gave me ideas.

Since then I've gone about the world preaching

the message of peace, the brotherhood of man.

You've got a great idea there, pal. Stick to it.

Did you hear what they're saying ?

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