If I Had My Way

The Magic Carpet takes us now

to San Francisco, California.

Whoever said that it's bad

manners to stretch in public

forgot to tell

the people in San Francisco,

because they're guilty of the

longest stretch ever achieved by man,

the Golden Gate Bridge.

Now the answer to the question

millions have asked,

who is responsible for this giant

project? Here he is, ladies and gentlemen,

the man who built the Golden Gate

Bridge practically single-handed.

Buzz Blackwell.

Buzz is pretty good,

isn't he, Daddy?

The higher he goes,

the better he gets.

That's what I keep telling

the boys down at the office.

We know, we know. Thank you.

All right, Buzz, take a bow.

That's right.

What have we here?

Why, it's none other than that old

Rajah of Rivets, the Mighty Fred Johnson,

who can climb up slower and come

down faster than any man on the job.

You come down pretty fast

yourself when that whistle blows.

My pal. Ten minutes later

he touched me for 20 bucks.

Don't believe him,

honey. That's what he did.

And now, folks, hold your hats

because here's the best helper

who ever caught a red-hot rivet in

his hip pocket, the Pride of Sweden,

Axel Swenson.

Did somebody call me?

Oh, you're showing the movies.

I love these little snip shots.

Hey, get out of there.

Down in the front.

Hey, what's the matter? What's

happened? Boo! Hiss. Hiss.

Where's the rest of the

picture? On your back.

Plant it over there in the

two-bit seats, will you?

Now we go again.

Oh, there I come.

Ain't I got gumph?

You got gumph all right.

Look. Was I doing that?

I didn't think I could

dance that good. Look out.

That's me holding up the man.

And now a few other

little things whipped up

by that tireless trio

in their spare time,

Bolder Dam. The Bonneville Dam.

Remember that? The Bay Bridge,

all built exclusively by Johnson,

Blackwell and Swenson, unincorporated.

Ain't we something?

Say, Buzz, how about me?

Where are the ones

you took here last Wednesday?

Quiet, please. Patience, little

lady, patience. One bridge at a time.

Ah! Here she comes now,

with her boyfriend, Crack.

That Glamour Girl of the great

outdoors, Miss Patricia Johnson.

Buzz Blackwell, don't you dare

call me Patricia. My name is Pat.

You're waving. Here come the two villains.

Looks like a dice game.

Oh, there it is, too.

You're hungry.

Oh, boy. Let me out of there.

All right. There we go.

Oh, look. Slide the line.

That's the fastest

he ever moved in his life.

Hang on now. Oh, there.

Why didn't you look

where I'm going?

I get the first kiss. I got two of

them. I'm in there. I'm in there.

There you go on, get in now.

My pal, knifing me

in the back, huh?

You're a cameraman.

I'm a plumber.

You and Buzz were so funny,

Daddy. How about yourself, Scarlet?

The pictures are

really swell, Buzz.

Great things to have,

aren't they?

Well, they certainly

prove one thing.

Boy, we've knocked in our

share of rivets since 1930.

Yeah.

But you know, Buzz, our

pictures are old-fashioned.

They would be much better

if you could hear me talk.

Hear you talk? Who'd

understand you? Poor Axel.

Buzz, you stop picking

on him. That's right, Pat.

Remember

that old Swedish proverb,

"When the strong pick on the

weak, the weak get weaker."

Oh, get out of here

with your proverbs.

Well, according to Big Ben,

it's exactly 5:
57.

I can just see that whistle getting

ready to blow me back to work.

On your way, slave. See

that you do a tidy job, too.

Yes. After working night

and day for all these months,

we don't want that bridge

to have a sloppy top.

Wouldn't it be just my luck to draw the

last shift on the last night of the job?

About 50 of us are going to

miss that get-away party tonight.

You'll be through early, Daddy, and

I'll save you a seat right next to me.

There she goes.

Well, good night, honey.

Do your stuff tonight. I will.

Wait a minute.

You'd better take your coat.

What would you do

without her, Fred?

What would we all do?

I don't know.

She's a great little kid,

all right.

Too bad her mother couldn't

have seen her grow up.

Yep. Here you are, Daddy.

Now, you hurry up and get through

and I'll be waiting for you.

Yeah. Go on, get out of here.

Let the old godfather take over.

Good night, honey.

Good night, Daddy.

So long, Fred. And don't

bump into any clouds up there.

Oh, Daddy? Yes?

Don't forget to bring me that star

tonight. All right, honey, I won't.

So long, boys. So long, Fred.

Daddy's been promising me a

star ever since I was that high.

That reminds me. Now if you

want to look like a star tonight

we better do

a little rehearsing.

I know my number. I could do

it backwards. You probably will.

How are you going

to introduce us, Buzz?

Well, I'll probably start

like this.

You lucky people, you are about to be

entertained by two of the cleverest,

wittiest and

most talented performers.

Are you sure

they'll know you mean you?

Axel's right. We're not that

good. Well, all right, then.

Here's what I'll really say.

Friends, we've spent a lot of

time together building a bridge

and we've built some

swell friendships with it.

Tonight the job will be finished and

tomorrow we'll all be saying goodbye.

But now we're here to have

fun, so let's get started.

Now this occasion is much too important

to be handled by one person alone,

so I've drafted one of the deeper

thinkers of the community to help me,

Miss Patricia Johnson.

Ladies and gentlemen.

The subject of the lecture

for this evening is political.

And no one is more critical.

Than my colleague and I.

The subject is political

and no one is more critical.

Or even more analytical.

Than my colleague.

My colleague and I.

We scoff at soap-box orators.

With all their

foolish theories economical.

In fact we think

it's very comical.

The way they moan and cry.

Comical comical too

economical Isn't it comical?

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Comical comical too economical.

Isn't it comical?

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

And so whenever we meet someone.

Who thinks

that everything is wrong.

We get them in a corner.

And we let.

Let.

Them hear this song.

It isn't opera.

It's not classic.

Just a simple little song.

Stop! Stop?

Stop hiding behind a pillow.

Whenever the dawn looks gray.

Get up, get out

and meet the sun halfway.

There may be a fortune waiting.

Or maybe an egg souffl.

Get up, get out, you gotta

meet the sun halfway.

Get into the tub.

And as you begin

to rub and scrub give out.

With your version

of the Road to Mandalay.

Don't ever expect

the bright side.

Served up to you on a tray.

Get up, get out

and meet the sun halfway.

You ought to be like Buck Rogers.

Just look where he is today.

Get up, get out

and meet the sun halfway.

You may be a new Dick Tracey.

Conducting an expos.

Get up, get out, you gotta

meet the sun halfway.

And don't blame your luck.

Do you wanna sound

like Donald Duck?

You know when you smile you

throw yourself a big bouquet.

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