Isn't She Great

# I don't know where I'm going

but I'm on my way

# As I go through life

# Somewhere in the world

there's a place for me

# Somewhere I will find me a new life

# I don't know where I'm going

# but that's still OK

# My dream is out there

# Never gonna stop

till that dream is mine

# Gonna see what life's

all about then

# Gotta get away to go in search

for something that

# makes all the good times

# Let the good times come

and turn my life around

# I just gotta go and find a future

# and leave the past behind me

# Somewhere fame and fortune's

waiting to be found

# And I'm on my way-y-y

# Yes, I'm on my way-y-y

# Somewhere I will find me

a new life-e-e

# Somewhere in the world

there's a place for me

# Gotta get away to go in search

for something

# that makes all the good times

# Let the good times come

and turn my life around

# I just gotta go and find the future

# and leave the past behind me

# Somewhere fame and fortune's

waiting to be found

# Oh, yeah

# And I'm on my way-y-y #

MAN:
'I fell in love with Jacqueline

Susann the first time I saw her.

'She was starring on Broadway.'

BELL RINGS:

Allo? No, madame eez not 'ere.

Oh, wait. I 'ear her coming. Madame?

GUN FIRES:

SHE SCREAMS:

'OK, maybe not "starring".

'Then came radio. Jungle Heat

with Florence Maybelle.'

Ellen I think we're really lost.

The native guides, and

Uboo, have disappeared.

ELEPHANTS TRUMPE Hey? What?

We're lost in the jungle.

The heat is unbearable!

'And acclaimed

personal appearances.'

We swirl, coat and snack.

It's the Swiss sensation.

Oh, sh*t!

'She had it all.

'She just needed one little thing

to make it work.

'One final touch.

'The one thing every person needs

to make life complete.'

Miss Susann?

'A press agent. Me.'

Miss Susann?

What?

Irving Mansfield.

And?

We met through Maury Manning.

That son of a b*tch! That worm!

We gotta talk.

Really?

About the divorce?

Did you call a lawyer?

It's not gonna happen. No can do.

What do you mean, no can do?

You promised! You swore!

Look, I'm sorry, cookie.

But, we're over. I got a show.

How can you do this to me? What did I

do wrong? I laugh at everything you say.

Oh, no, listen.

Aw, hey, bright eyes, who's gonna

stay my number one fan, though, huh?

HE LAUGHS:

Maury! Maury!

Maury.

Oh, Maury.

Well, I WAS his publicist.

Call the papers. Tell everybody.

He's a lowlife.

He left me for his wife.

We should talk.

Not here.

Someplace nice, someplace snazzy.

Don't be stupid.

I don't even know you.

My treat.

Let's go.

Wow, Lindy's. I'm really impressed.

Do you come here all the time?

Are you kidding? Only every day.

All the big stars eat here.

Look at them all.

Look at all the pictures. Jack Benny.

There's Henry Youngman. Milton Berle!

Berle's the best. He's the greatest.

When he puts on

a dress and a wig?

And the lipstick and the lashes.

I love it.

This bread's fabulous.

Don't fill up on it.

Save your appetite.

What about Burns and Allen?

Aren't they a scream?

Hysterical.

Irving, you're smart. You have taste.

Thank you.

So, Jackie, let's talk about you.

It's about time.

SHE LAUGHS:

I've gotta tell you, I've seen

all your work. Really? Oh, sure.

Death Takes A Powder.

I was the whole plot.

I was crazy about you

on that radio thing.

What a performance.

When that gorilla attacked you.

Yeah, I played both parts.

That's versatility.

I was so angry when you were killed

by that tribe of cannibals.

Wasn't it terrifying? They started

at my ankles. Where have you been?

What have you been up to?

You first.

SHE LAUGHS:

I have a group of select clients,

primarily blue chip performers.

Do you know Perry Como?

Only every song! Every album!

I handle his brother...

Oh. ..in-law, ex.

A juggler. You know Danny Kaye?

Danny Kaye?!

Isn't he great? And you?

Me? Uh-huh.

Oh. Well, I'm...looking at several

major offers in different areas,

and, er, people have approached me.

I'm in negotiations. You understand.

Of course. You're in demand.

I wouldn't wanna rush into anything.

Savvy. Very wise.

Except maybe this.

Jackie? How deep is this?

How long will it take?

If I start choking and screaming,

don't listen! Miss Susann!

Just let me die! Just let me drown!

Get out of there.

You could catch something.

Germs, bacteria!

Tell the papers it was an accident!

Tell them I was about to make it big!

Here's your headline,

"A Star Sinks!"

That's good.

They won't print it!

There won't be a picture! Even if

I die! 'Cause I'm nothing! I'm nobody!

That's not true. If you

drown in the duck pond,

you'd get a big picture.

People would love it.

I haven't worked for over a year!

I haven't eaten in a week!

I can't get an agent!

I can't get an audition!

Hang on! They won't even let me

demonstrate margarine in a shop!

They say I'm too intense!

'Cause they're all morons.

You're not! You're gorgeous!

You're perfect for margarine.

But I'm not blonde! I'm not some

tiny little thing with blue eyes!

I'm not what they want

or what anybody wants!

That's not true! My whole life has been

the same story, over and over. I'm coming!

SHE SOBS:

Maury didn't want me.

I want you!

You do?

You want me? When Maury dumped you,

it tore me apart,

but I was glad, secretly.

That's why I left him. I quit!

You quit over me?

And because he fired me.

But that was his reason.

To me, it was all about you,

completely, from top to bottom.

Jackie, I want you.

Oh, Irving.

As a woman...

Oh, my God.

..and a client.

Irving, don't say that

if you don't mean it.

But, I do. I do with all my heart.

I'll, I'll give you my card.

Er, a dry one.

All I want

is just what everybody wants.

One little thing.

One tiny little dream.

What's that?

To be famous.

World famous. To make some noise.

To let everybody know I was here. To

live forever. Is that so much to ask?

Not at all. It's America.

I'll help you.

I guarantee. I swear it.

I will use all my connections.

I will beg,

I will bribe, I will make calls.

Calls?! When? Who to?

Who do you know?

The Tribune, Winchell, the Post.

I can get you in tomorrow's papers.

Jackie Susann has dinner at Lindy's.

Thought the bread was boffo.

You, you can do that?

I want...

I want to make you so famous.

Oh!

Irving.

ANNOUNCER:

'Here's your host, Brad Bradburn!'

Thank you! Thank you!

Welcome to the game Tri-State

can't stop playing, What's My Job?

Brought to you by Ever-grip.

The denture adhesive

that just won't let go.

Thanks, Tammy. Let's meet our panel.

First, we have everybody's favourite City

University civics whiz Professor Brainiac.

APPLAUSE:

Beside him is the lovely star of

It Came From Beneath the World,

Miss Bambi Madison!

SHE SCREAMS:

Hi, everybody!

Finally, welcome noted Broadway

actress, radio and show biz personality,

Miss Jacqueline Susan!

APPLAUSE:

It's Suse-ann.

Suzanne Susann, yes. Now,

let's bring out our first guest.

Enter and sign in, please.

All right, Leslie, why don't you

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes