Isn't She Great Page #7

for 28 weeks, making it,

that's right,

the bestselling novel of all time.

APPLAUSE:

So, up yours, Tolstoy. Ha!

I say that with all sincerity. But,

hey, please help me welcome

a great writer, a record breaker,

and one very happening chick.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you the champ,

Miss Jacqueline Susann!

APPLAUSE:

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you, all.

This is the most exciting night of

my life. This room, all of you.

This is what I have waited for

my whole life.

And I just have to tell anybody out there

who feels like they're nobody, listen.

If they tell you you have no talent,

that it's never gonna happen for you,

that you're some loud,

crude, pushy little nothing

in a tight dress and

too much make-up,

tell them, "Hey! Just look

at Jacqueline Susann!"

LAUGHTER:

Whoo! Number one!

Where's Irving?

I don't know. I haven't seen him.

We have a special surprise

for a real numero uno.

We have a pair of numero unos

to serenade you.

Jackie, may I present Steve Lawrence

and Edye Gorme!

# You're walking along the street

Can you believe this?

# You're at a party

Thank you.

# Or else you're alone and then

you suddenly dig

# You're looking in someone's eyes

# You suddenly realise

# That this could be the start of

something big

# You're lunching at 21

# And watching your diet, girl

# Declining a Charlotte russe

# Accepting a fig

# Fig, fig

# When out of a clear blue sky

ALL:
# It's suddenly gal and guy

# And this could be the start of

something big

# There's no controlling...

Have you ever seen anything

like this in your life?

I'm the luckiest

girl in the world!

# But when a lover...

Oh!

# ..Without a second look

ALL:
# You're watching the sun

come up, counting your money, girl

# Or else in a dim cafe

# You're ordering wine, wine, wine

# And suddenly there she is

# You wanna be where she is

# This must be

the start of something

# This could be

the heart of something

# This could be

the start of something big! #

I'm sorry, I just don't understand.

What's to understand?

I was busy, checking on things.

You abandoned me.

You were surrounded. There was

an army, your army, with cameras.

But I needed you.

You did?

Yeah.

Why?

Why?! Why?! For a million reasons.

To keep me company. To hold my hand.

To love me.

Just to be there.

Stop.

Just stop. Why? Stop what?

Baby, it's done.

What do you mean "done"?

You're famous.

You're international,

like an airport.

But, what does that have to do

with your just running off like that?

What's going on with you?

Nothing. I'm fine. I need a paper.

But it's 5am! Where are you going?

I'm not tired.

I don't know what's gotten into him.

Ever since the Waldorf a month ago.

He wants to be a producer again. He's got

all these projects, musicals, TV specials.

All of a sudden, he's never home.

I'm not implying anything

nor would I ever imply anything.

However, did it ever occur to you

that he just might be, you know?

He is a man, after all.

What? Say it.

You think...? You think

he's handling someone else?

I made him give up personal clients.

Yeah, I got a lot of things on the

boil, a game show, a variety hour.

I'm thinking of putting together

some kind of rock thing,

like a book that...whatshername?

Janis Joplin, Ken Morrison.

We really hit it off.

The Who, The What. Maybe some pretty

girls. Topo Gigio, mix it up.

Your old man's back on track.

Hi, sweetheart.

Come on, Mommy's gonna call Daddy.

JOSIE BARKS:

Yeah, hello? Can I have

Mr Irving Mansfield's room, please.

He checked out?

When?

'Yesterday.

'May I help you with anything else?'

No. No, thanks.

Josie, don't pull!

Hey, watch out, lady!

What the hell are you doing here?

It's a public park.

Just a second, that's my tree.

Please, leave me alone.

I thought you were in LA?

I came back on the redeye.

I thought you were my husband.

You don't need a husband.

You're right. I know I am.

I don't need a husband.

Anybody can have a husband.

I'm Jackie Susann. That's right.

And I'm Irving Mansfield.

I've got my own life.

I've got my own schedule.

And I'm booked.

Well, good for you.

Yeah! Good for me!

So, you're quitting on me?

That's right. I'm off the payroll.

Well, it's about time.

I don't need a

publicist any more.

I get all the press I want.

They're coming to me now.

Well, I'm glad to hear it. All I

need now is just someone who knows.

Knows what?

SHE SIGHS:

Someone who knows everything

I never ever wanna talk about.

Someone who knows what I look like

without this get-up.

Someone who knows that

Guy doesn't have asthma.

I won't tell.

Irving, don't make me beg.

I need you. You know why?

'Cause from the very beginning

you thought I WAS famous.

Stop.

Irving,

we're making a sh*t load of money.

There's new deals coming in everyday.

So, I'm asking you, Irving,

will you...?

SHE CRIES:

Will you be my agent?

Don't. Don't tease me.

I'm not. I mean it, every word.

I want you to make my deals.

Even movies?

With my attorney?

I don't know. It's so sudden, and...

Make your deals? It's such

a commitment. But you're ready.

I can feel it. Oh, Irving, come on.

We can be even bigger.

Yes.

Yes?

Yes.

And I get 15%?

10. 12.

Point five.

I'm in.

Wait.

All right. We're almost even.

Just one more thing, one more item,

and I'll tear up our bill.

Ten more years.

That's all I'm asking.

Just ten.

With an option.

'She got her ten years.

She had a great agent.

'There were movies and premieres.'

ANNOUNCER:
'Jacqueline Susann

and Irving Mansfield!'

You should know, honey.

You just came out of the nut house.

It was not a nut house!

'Look, they drummed you

right out of Hollywood.'

I hate this movie.

They've ruined it!

It's gonna make a fortune.

You think so?

At least I never married one!

You take that back, you old...

Get your hands off me!

'We hit the road again,

but this time, we did it right.

'No more road maps for us.

'But Jackie never forgot who'd been

there for her at the beginning.

'Though she definitely enjoyed

meeting interesting new playmates,

'like Onassis, and

that other Jackie.

'Those were great days.

She'd never been happier.

'No matter how famous she became,

she never got too ritzy for fans.'

You know, if I sign this,

you can't return it.

SHE LAUGHS:

Irving, I'm glad you made me do this.

Well, it's another smash, baby.

You're packing 'em in,

and in this weather.

Isn't it great?

Yeah.

You wanna drive over and say hello?

Oh, no.

I don't look so hot.

This is enough.

You look swell in that T-shirt.

Doesn't he look swell?

Guy, I have to tell you, your father thinks

everybody looks swell in that T- shirt.

You must have grown five inches

in a week. You're like an oak tree.

OK, let's show Mommy.

Show Mommy what?

Jackie, watch this. Way to go.

HE LAUGHS:

Huh? Isn't that great?

I tried it a few weeks ago.

He didn't forget.

Oh.

Honey, are you OK? Should we sit?

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