It's a Disaster Page #10

And a very painful ordeal.

Ordeal? What do you mean "ordeal"?

Yeah.

That sounds ominous.

I don't like ominous.

Deets, please.

EMMA:
Yeah.

Okay. Uh, well,

You might start with blurred

vision and a headache.

Move quickly to nausea,

Intense vomiting and diarrhea.

That would be followed

by copious sweating,

Involuntary muscle twitching.

(WOMAN SINGING "AVE MARIA")

Then there's the blindness,

Dyspnea and seizures.

The initial

violent contractions...

Will turn into sustained

super-contractions,

Which results in the paralysis

of all the muscles in your body.

And ultimately it's the paralysis

of the diaphragm muscle...

That leads to death

by asphyxiation.

If we're lucky, we could lose

consciousness before some of that.

If we're lucky.

So.

Well, I'm in.

Till death do us part.

Mm-hmm.

Seriously? We're just gonna

go all Jonestown on this?

Did you not just hear that laundry

list she just rattled off?

I don't even know what a "disnepsis"

is, but I don't f***in' want it.

It's gonna be a lot less

painful to drink the wine.

Yes.

Well, it... it might be better

than me falling into enemy hands,

Given my knowledge

of american pop culture...

And the industrial-military

complex, but...

Do you have any white?

I'm sorry?

If this is gonna be

my last drink on earth,

I just don't really

care for merlot.

GLENN:

Can... can I jump in?

When I was down there, and I...

I had some of the wine before

I put all the stuff in it.

And, um,

it's pretty good merlot.

- It really is.

- I'm sure it is, but still...

Shane, will you just drink

the f***ing red wine?

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I mean...

It kind of makes sense, but...

Can we all agree that I'm right,

that he's f***ing crazy?

(ALL AGREEING, MURMURING)

GLENN:
Well, can I

tell you someone else...

Who was considered

the f-word crazy?

Was Saul of tarsus, so...

What do you think?

No.

No?

No.

I mean, what...

What if a swat team comes

bursting through the door...

At the last minute

to save our lives?

What if this vegan stew has some

sort of immunity to the chemical...

And we're all

gonna be just fine?

What if...

what if we survive?

I mean, is that completely

out of the question here?

I just don't want to lose hope.

You're right.

I'm with you.

Oh, you guys are so sweet.

So have fun shitting blood,

And let's do this.

I don't know. I...

I don't know. I kind of... Want to do

it if everybody else is gonna do it.

But then maybe I should

stay with Pete and Emma. I...

No. I don't know what we were thinking.

Never mind.

- Really? I don't wanna...

- No, no, no. We're with you guys.

We're in.

Yeah, we're in.

- Okay.

GLENN:
- Okay.

I will see you all...

At the pearly gates.

I'm Jewish, by the way.

What?

Okay, um, let me take

the moment to say...

Thank you all for coming today.

Yeah. Thanks, guys.

Everyone's been a really great friend.

(MOUTHING WORDS)

Honestly.

(MOUTHING WORDS)

This is the best one of these

things we've ever had.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, no. Please no. Don't.

So, how should we

go about this?

On three?

On three, or roshambo style?

Like, "one, two, three, go".

We'll just do one, two,

three, go. Drink.

Not saying "drink"

just...

Say the words

"one, two, three, go".

- And then we'll drink.

- Perfect.

( "AVE MARIA" CONTINUES)

Glennzo?

You want me to say it?

It's your gig, bro.

(EXHALES) Thank you, Buck.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay.

(HEDY EXHALES)

One, two...

Wait. Quick...

quick question. Sorry.

Um, is it okay to take one sip,

Or do we have to chug

the whole thing?

I would chug it. It's

better safe than sorry.

- Chug.

- Okay. Okay, sorry.

Continue.

Okay.

(EXHALES)

I'm gonna start over again.

I'm not gonna continue from there.

I think it could be confusing.

From one?

From one.

Okay.

GLENN:
One, two, three, go.

( AVE MARIA)

Okay. Seriously,

what's the deal?

I was waiting to see

if everybody else did it.

I was doing the same thing.

That's what I did.

Yeah. We were too.

Yeah.

Okay. Let's do this

for real.

- Let's really do this, okay?

- Why didn't you drink this last time?

Because I suspected that was gonna

happen, and I was right, so...

Okay.

(NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE)

Are we doing this, or what?

( "1812 OVERTURE")

( ALT ROCK)

Things are lookin' up

We're going strong

We're making the move

We're taking 'em one by one

Things are lovely when they go on

And on and on

Forever until they've gone

It's a disaster, baby

I know things have been tough lately

And we know there's

no relief for us in sight

It's a disaster, baby

I know that I drive you crazy

The world's at the end of days

So I just hope you stay

Yeah, things are looking up

It won't be long

Still on we go

Till the atmosphere's completely gone

Things are lovely

We'll never know

Nowhere to go

Disaster all-year round

It's a disaster, baby

I know that I drive you crazy

The world's at the end of days

So I just hope you stay

The world's at the end of days

So I just hope you stay

The world's at the end of days

So I just hope you stay

(DRINK POURING)

(GLASS CLINKS)

MAN:
Cheers.

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